Halloween is almost here. i know i will be able to celebrate the good time once i am done with work.
and with Halloween and the end of October, there is that ugly thing called Black Friday and Christmas coming to rear its ugly head at me.
i almost can’t celebrate Halloween fully with that shit hanging over my head.
what breaks me is how i see November anymore. i see it as a time of prayer and reflection. i see it as a time to pause and sort out life before diving into December.
let me try to break it down.
Oktober is about Halloween and my birthday. it’s about it being fall and weather cooling off and leaves falling on the ground and everything is spooky.
after the sex of Halloween, November is my afterglow. it’s full-on fall and it’s just this quite time to be. it’s not the winter of December or the call of Yule and New Year’s, just this peaceful time of November.
December is either the month of getting shit done or plotting out your attack of the new year.
and surviving fucking Christmas while working in retail.
so, i feel the icy grip of death and Christmas on me.
i hope just to have one nice night of Halloween before it all goes to shit.
i know lighting 5 sticks of incense and some candles is not witchcraft, but fuck if it didn’t make me feel better.
i’m doing a Deep Fall Clean and it’s been amazing. i feel like i am doing something and getting this better.
what i think i miss out on is the upkeep. i think i need to do 20 every night, just so i don’t have to Deep Clean like this. yeah, it’’s nice to look in all the draws and count all the bottles of soap but, not to this lvl. i don’t want to get this bad, ever.
i have plans for Halloween, small but good. maybe by start of winter, i’ll be doing a bit better with my witchcraft.
i don’t know how in November i’m gonna keep up with the cleaning, blogging, and other things. i don’t know if there will be enough time.
it comes down to stop “wasting” time on activities that do not bring me anything and focus on things that do.
