next lvl of living

basement is a mess because i am doing my training to get my promotion at work. that’s this week project.

this promotion means more money, kinda more responsibility. it’s making me take notices on what i am doing now, so i can be better later.

i got plans for Endgame Friday. i need to buy the ticket and i also need to work on the magic i’ll be doing that night.

things are going forward. i am trying so hard to make things move forward.

i feel that i haven’t wasted this year. there was a lot of things i had to go through to get here.

i achieved goals! and when i realized that, finally realized that, i have set myself for new goals and to get to the next lvl of living.

update

got major cleaning done. moved the table and got to study it.

it’s the same as Grandma’s kitchen table. the top is rough as hell and someone has put boards under it so you can’t make it smaller.

this table has been in the basement as long as i can remember and it matches Grandma’s kitchen table. i have questions, so many, and no one to ask.

i took all the crap off of it and looked at it and wonder if Anton and Mary looked at this table.

i want to get it all cleaned up tomorrow, organized what’s going under the table and how. maybe hit the top of the refrigerator and then bottom of the witch’s cabinet.

i feel i can get everything cleaned this month. and if that happens, i get everything cleaned and up to date, i can start studying. i can see myself with notebooks, just thinking and making a thought board.

*sigh* i don’t want to say anything but i am feeling it.

here we go...

i am not moving forward as much as i want. i blame myself and will try again tomorrow.

i need to get into the groove of 20 mins of things. 20 mins of this, 20 mins of that. moving forward with projects. get into working out (my arms need help so much) and get into meditating.

and cleaning and letting other things get done.

it’s all in my reach. i got one set of goals done, i am now working on new ones. ones i want to get done in a year and not forever.

the first full moon of fall happens right after the start of fall and on a weekend. i started making plans and then realized that’s when Endgame come back to the theaters.

so it’s one of two ways this is playing out:

1. see Endgame in Jeff on Friday and then come home for some witchcraft.
2. see Endgame with Izzy and do some, other witchcraft that night.

either way, i am seeing that fucking movie.

and making some magic.

Witchcraft XXXV

What would my perfect witchy day be like?

 

We are almost there.

I want fall. I want a gray day that’s slightly wet. I want a nip in the air where you it makes to think you need to find your hoodie soon.

I would also be off from work. The weather needs to be so that I can open my basement door and bring in the fresh air of the outside.

The day makes me want to work. I wan to work get up and put in the effort to do what needs to be done, be it cleaning or witchcraft.

Witchcraft Prompts

lighting crashes

so, lighting hit the old oak that was about 20 feet away from the house last Sunday.

and it’s been a week.

i’m sad the tree had to be cut down. feels like losing something important to me. i did find 2 acorns and put them in a crack of the stump, covering it with sawdust.

i need to find some of the bark that got blown off, for witchcraft purposes. Nicole wants some too.

got tickets to Doomsday. not seeing it in 3D IMAX because of Dune. just going to see it regular.

did not get much work done on the basement this week. things kinda fell apart after lighting hit the tree and still dealing with that.

i did get a new tarot deck this week! i got Seasons of the Witch Autumn Tarot! it’s so pretty! i’m excited to get the other ones, if they are just as cool as the Autumn deck.

new look

i got shit done today.

like i texted my bear this morning:

I am doing hardcore cleaning today. I get depressed that my lair is trashed and I know by cleaning it, it will cure me but I'm too depressed to clean it, so there is this cycle that goes one before I Hulk out and start mad cleaning.

and i did. i played a bit of SIMS 2 and then went on cleaning. i plan on more cleaning tomorrow.

with the blogs i follow on Tumblr, most of the witches are going into rest with fall and winter coming. i feel the opposite. i feel that that’s when i wake up.

i keep seeing signs of fall, Halloween stuff in the store, back to school shopping, and the praying mantises are out.

i feel alive. i feel like i can be me.

i feel that i am now, in this late of the year, getting my shit together.

as i stated before, i set goals with the idea that this will cure me. i hit those goals, hard. i own a house and got a new car in a matter of a few months. plus, a job that wants me to be better and a partner that is freaking Gomaz Addams.

i need new goals. i need to set new goals for myself. i hit the old ones, i can make new ones.

IT IS TIME! clean the cave and start getting weird with my studies.

oh fuck yeah.

here we go

Things are good with me, the goal post I set, I have gone past them. I own my own home, I have a new car, a job that wants me to be better, and a partner who sees me as a whole ass human, not just parts.

i wrote that this morning. i have won and i am not celebrating to trying to be better.

this happen when we moved into the house. i thought that would cure me and it didn’t.

well, now what?

now we start the work of being better. stuff has been bad since April and i need to stop it. i need to do the work, do The Work, and make my home the place i want it to be.

that’s it. i want this place to be like i want. that is gonna take time and effort. it’s not going to happen overnight, and it’s gonna take upkeep to make it happen.

if i work 20 mins a night, i can get it done. it will be inches but it will get me there.

because, if i can get my home inline, then i can get inline. i will have the time to do the witchcraft, cast the spells, read the cards, be the bad ass witch my 4 yr-old self could only dream of.

it’s starts.

i have plans

i have plans.

plans to see Spider-Man. plans to see it with Izzy. plans for a slumber party. plans that include, and i quote: “…then all night I have you to myself.”

i wasn’t ready for this last year. i wasn’t ready for this at Halloween. it’s a toss up about if i was ready at PRIDE but i know i am now.

the last two years, so much has changed about me and how i view the world. i sit here, in my own house (THE DEED HAS MY FUCKING NAME ON IT, IT’S MINE!!!) with a car from this millennium, a job that wants to reward me for my hard work, and a partner that sees me as a whole person.

i am living my best life.

i keep saying this but, i am going to start being better. Lammas is coming up and so is fall and i am in the 100 days before Halloween.

i know August is a do-nothing month but, not this year. i want to back into the swing of The Work, of being that bitch trying to overcome her bullshit.

i have overcome, i don’t have that over my head and i am in this box of fear of taking the next step, the next lvl of being better.

Bless me Mother-

“Bless me Mother-”

“Where the fuck have you been? I thought you been killed or even worse!”

“Are you quoting Jeff Foxworthy to me?”

“If you want my blessing, you better start talking.”

“Bless me Mother for I am not doing good.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I have a job that I like and treat me fair. Last Sunday was a shit show but it was still better then that other fucking place. I have a new car now. It’s from this millennium so it’s all new and shiny to me. And I have a partner that sees me as a whole person.”

“You got your dreams Baby Opossum. You need to reach for the next level.”

“This is almost like when I moved into the basement. I thought with space I would be free from my depression. No, moved that with me.

“So now that I have the better things, car, job, partner, why do I feel so down?”

“You’re not use to being happy. You were starting to feel that last year but you had that sword over year head. That sword is gone. All the things that were holding you back are gone now. You are free.”

“Am I just not moving forward out of fear?”

“Could be.”

“Plus, if that other thing happens…”

“You’ll be living your life like a bitch about to get accused of witchcraft in Salem?"

“I won?”

“Baby, you are winning. Get out there and cut a motherfucker down.”

“Thank you Mother.”

Witchcraft XXIII

Which texts/quotes best describe my current path?

 

For this year I wrote some lyrics on my bathroom wall and I am going to post them here.

They are from “Everyone Scream” by Florence and the Machine.

 The witchcraft, the medicine, the spells and the injections
The harvest, the needle, protect me from evil
The magic and the misery, madness and the mystery
Oh what has it done to me
Everybody scream

Witchcraft Prompts

am i still alive?

am i still alive?

i know i am not living.

this past week has been stressed plus. work was just stressing with a F.O.R. and big wigs showing up. on the day of, i was the only blue shirt there and i was on side 1 for breakfast. i hold power and must use it wisely.

home is stressful too. Monday, the people will be here to put in the new floor and new shower and MY shower will get fixed (leaks like it’s on). ALL the things had to be to moved out of the rooms and we are done to just the bare necessities.

i have this thought that if the floor Grandma put in lasted 50 years, maybe we can get 50 years out of this floor. Jehoshaphat will be 52 and maybe a grandma in her own right.

i’ll be 96, gods willing.

i cleaned the hell out of my bathroom today.

i made hell of progress today. i just need to move. i want to try to do 20 mins a day this week, just to keep things going forward.

May is coming up and i didn’t get one last year. it was robbed from me. but i am so much better then i was an year ago that i refuse to let shit bog down on me anymore. i have one stressor in my life, and the more i think of cursing him, the more he falters, without me throwing the curse.

i am taking a shower that should clean my soul. tomorrow is the start of my work week and there is work to be done.

What's It All About?

i am still here. i only wanted to take January “off” and kick off February and then life happens.

i have been slacking. i tried playing Sims 4 and i just don’t care for the game. off chance i went to look to see if they had Sims 2 and they did. all of them for $30.

and down that hole i went, bad.

i am failing with doing The Work and that needs to stop, now. i am not moving forward and that is someone i don’t want to be.

the basement is getting cleaner, i have a job i like that is 1,000 times less stressful, i have a Bear in Rolla that likes me and wants me, i have my wonderful friends in Springfield, i have the fucking best niblings in the world, too many things are positive in my life for me to turn into mush.

so, tonight is the last night of goofing off. i need to buckle up and get to The Work. i need to step up my reading and studying. i need to get going with the cleaning.

is this all going to happen overnight? no. will i have setbacks, in this month alone? yes? can i read one page a day? fuck yes, i can do at least that.

let’s get going.

weekly update

i am 97% done for the month, 9% done for the year, giving me a F.

but i got the crafting shelf organized! fuck yes!

and i got projects unearthed that i need to work on.

and i got an idea what i want to paint. i have small canvas i can try things out on before i get out the big one.

next week i need to work on getting the crafting table cleaned off and then the living room and the altars.

the next step i need to work on is stop the scrolling in bed and start reading more. at minimum, i need to work on that Halloween poem book and the Sylvia Plath book.

and to get on with the working out and meditating.

i am moving forward, in more then one way.

weekly update

i am 75% done for the month, 7% done for the year, giving me a F.

i am making forward progress on my weekends. i am cleaning and getting stuff done. what i am not doing is stuff during the week. i need to start doing something there.

i need to stop with the “doom scrolling” at night and just start reading in bed. i have too many books (just got 3 this week) and am not reading them. i saw a post where someone had a room floor covered with books they have not read, a foot or more deep.

i don’t want to be that person.

it also means i’m not going to the library for a while.

i also need to get on with working out and meditating.

and working towards the next level of my daily practice.

i did a post on Tumblr today that made me pause. it was about worshiping the Norse deities and said that start with what feels familiar/makes sense to you. after that, “Let your worship change as you develop a stronger interpersonal relationship with (and deeper understanding of) the deity you're venerating. You have complete freedom.”

i have fallen off the worshiping of Karpo that i don’t feel anything anymore. and last year made me rethink of how i ward my home and the adding of the seasonal oracle decks of Seasons of the Witch, i do have a lot of things in my head that i need to sit and work on.

but first, i need to clean this lair of mine.

maybe for Imbolc i can get the witchcraft rolling.

weekly update

i am 53% done with my January goals, 5% done for the year, giving me a F!

and we are only 3 days into this year!

i got my bedroom redone and i love it. there is more space. is it perfect? no but it will get tweaked as the year goes on.

i started on my vanity drawers. gods smack me if i buy another handkerchief.

after i wash them all, put them back into the vanity, i want to clean out the rest of that area. i know there are things i just need to toss and recognize what i have.

my plan is to start on one end of the basement and work my way towards the front. maybe by the end of the month i’ll be done? it would be nice.

i want everything to have a place, and not just a pile. i want to remember where i put things so they are not lost.

i think other parts of my life are in order that i feel the need to get my lair in order. a prim and proper order, and not this pile is the jean pile.

place

no more goals being added to the 2026 list. the cards said so.

one goal was added right before the call of stopping was called out. a goal i hope Izzy can help me with.

i got my crafting table more or less cleaned off and all my notebooks situated.

i was going to go after the crafting shelves and no, i need to work on my bedroom. i need to clean it out, move my bed, and organized the shelves.

see what is under my bed…

i need to put everything in a place. i just have books and stuff everywhere with no real purpose.

same with the crafting shelves. i need to organized it so everything has a place.

i have a place and i want my things to have a place.

update

i’m still doing the cleaning. the last move is the crafting table and getting my new desk up and running.

i did get a new altar out of all of this. it’s stupid, with a Funko Pop of Sylvie and Loki (hey, god and goddess, am i right?) but it’s a place to burn a candle and some incense.

still coming up with more goals for 2026. i am working on them now, so it’s not like i’m just sitting here.

everything is fine. i have no need to come here and vent and moan and try to get my head right.

hell, i stopped morning papers because there was nothing in my head that needed to get out.

have i worked out all my issues? what is hidden so deep in me that it was not come out yet?

maybe i can start writing that new story in my head and work on that other project.

i am not being optimist about next year. i am being real and making small plans for everything. keep focusing on making myself better, not giving myself to anyone or anything, that will not serve me better.

well, it’s December

well, it’s December.

and there is nothing Christmasy in my life right now. it is great.

i have been off the last week or so and today i tried to fixed it.

i got up and started cleaning. i’ve started on the far end and am working towards the front.

got all the laundry put away, switch out my socks and jeans, and started working on an unfinished project from summer. i am trying to get things organized, each box with its own set of things.

my 2026 goals keep adding up and i am ever hopeful that i will get everything done. so far i am 17% done with January, so i got a start.

day 24

i got my three-day weekend coming up and i am going to clean and cure myself.

day 23

somehow i still got burnt out, all right before Thanksgiving.

maybe i can chalk this up to my mind not feeling it but my body feeling it.

i really need to clean. i gotten into the cycle of “it’s bad/it makes me depressed/if i clean i’ll feel better/i’m too depressed to clean/it’s bad/it makes me depressed/if i clean i’ll feel better…”

i’m hoping that i get a 3-day weekend for Thanksgiving and can make a dent.

i need to go to bed.