whole

There’s the internet meme of “I’m just random number of random animals in a trench coat” and I never fully gotten it till now.

Last year I broke up with my boyfriend of 14 years. The last few months I’m been texting a guy I met off Tinder. Me and this guy have very similar taste in things and I’m just loving it. I met him at PRIDE and, he’s real and a fully formed person.

This past spring, I went on a rewatch of The Sopranos. That was the Ex’s fav show. I watched it once when we were dating and enjoyed it.

This time it was different. I saw all the things that the Ex had just copied whole from the show into his personality.

There is always a line from one of the Ex’s fav movies that keep blaring in my head, “...there is an idea of a Patrick Bateman…”

And I keep thinking about the idea of the Ex.

I can trace back parts of my personality to where it “started.” Watching The Wizard of Oz every year and wanting to be the Wicked Witch of the West, that got me into witchcraft. My mom’s choice of music influenced mine, Meat Loaf and Bob Seager. Another ex introduced me to Buffy and that led into wanting to see Avengers and the whole Marvel Cinematic Universe. Nicole led to Bowie. Marching band gave me Phantom of the Opera. My sister gave me Supernatural.

But! That is just pinpointing when those items were introduced to me. I still had the power to say no. And furthermore, I took those items and made them my own.

I watched too much M*A*S*H, read The Bell Jar, and watched Dr. No and that led me to vodka martinis and vodka as a whole.

The Ex just mashed up Patrick Batman and Tony Soprano.

I am a whole person.

The new guy is a whole person.

This is what I have been missing for a long time.

Sacred Opossum

Friday morning came to me with some time for moving meditation at work.

this year is almost over and 2025 is coming towards me. i need a theme for next year and nothing is coming to me. i thought that “aimless” would be one but i have goals and plots for the next year.

lunch come and i go to work on the set of tarot prompts. here’s my questions for the day:

“What am I moving toward if I stay aligned with my current path? What would I move toward if I take my journey in a different direction?”

awesome! this is just what i was thinking about! let’s do this! i pull up my tarot app and got

“What am I moving toward if I stay aligned with my current path? Empress.

What would I move toward if I take my journey in a different direction? Fool.

i got called out by my fucking tarot app. cards are gonna cards, fucking hell.

and this morning i was thinking about it again. i remember after the election, someone posted on Facebook this thing of RPG classes and how they apply to fights we will have in the next administration. i thought to myself that i am going to be the fool and hermit: crack jokes, stay home, and work on myself.

Fool. Hermit? what are those cards called in the Starman Tarot? The Sacred Clown and The Alien. could i be the sacred alien-

Sacred Opossum.

Sacred Opossum. my first thought it was perfect and so fucking stupid at the same time. the more i think about it, the more i love it.

if the name of my witchcraft is Feral Opossum, then Sacred Opossum is very much the path i want next year to be.

weekly update

list is 263% done for the month, 23% done for the year, giving me a A+ rating.

and so much more to do.

i think Days of Bowie is really the end of old business and the start of new business. besides the moons, there is no more holidays till spring. i can focus on getting stuff done.

and i am overwhelming myself with getting EVERYTHING done all at once. or i go the opposite directions and do so little in so many categories that it feels i am not moving at all.

there needs to be a new list of things to do. i have goals for the month (do 6 things) but with no idea on what 6 things to do, i get nothing done.

best bet would be to focus on my cards. start studying them and getting that worked out.

weekly update

start off the 1st week of 2023 with the list being 217% done for the month, 18% done for the year, giving me a A+.

and i still have so much to do.

i tossed this week, as i am still trying to get better over fucking up my back and the rest of my body for Christmas.

and it’s the eve of Days of Bowie. time to get the year going and done.

goal for today: clean. and re-ward the house.

let’s do it.

King

In the year of Our Lord-

And we are stopping right there. I usually start off with the year of Our Lord Bowie and, bless His name, we are not doing that this year.

I was at a loss on what would be the theme for this year, what would be the tag on my blog to note that this happen in 2023.

And when I was doing my year reading, the song came on and that solidified that inking of an idea I had for my theme: “King” by Florence and the Machine.

The line “I am no mother, I am no bride, I am king” hit me. I am no mother, I am no bride, what am I then?

I am King.

Last year was a trip of discovering Florence and the Machine and I went down the on all the vids I could find on the YouTubes.

Along with the theme song of “King”, my Year Card is Moon: “I perceive the truth through the inner veil and its reflection.” And that hits me so well for this year.

As for my goals for 2023, I take a moment to acknowledge that I won in getting shit done in 2022 but I did not get everything done. Most of what I did not get done carried over to this year.

What I discovered at my birthday and am carrying on in this year is that I want things. If I cannot get the things I want, I will defy my last 42 years and be the better version of me that I never knew I could be. This is not going to happen overnight; this will be a yearlong work.

By the end of this calendar year, I want to fill my clean, empty hall with grand self-mythology.

plans

new plans, i will sit and relax Saturday night. i don’t know how but i will.

i need to sit down and write out some harder plans for what i want to get done before 2023. there are ideas in my head but i want some plans on paper.

this week has been a week and i want, no. i want to be in a routine of sorts by 2023. i want things to happen on certain days and live that life.

and that will take planning and working.

i think i really need to work on getting my crafting table cleared off so i can make some stuff that will go with my plans.

and then i can clean out and reorganized my bedroom.

and then the living room needs a clean out.

and prep some ideas for Days of Bowie.

i need to get a notebook and do some work in it.

on ward

i started a list of what i want to get done in 2023. is it early? will I get some of them done before this year? time will tell.

i did get the 1st of the birthday gifts! i got the Labyrinth tarot deck and Earth, Air, Fire and Water by Scott Cunningham! so excited!

weekly update

17% done! and that’s 101.7% done for the month!

yes, i was able to get 17% of my 2022 goals done this week. i am over for my goal for this month so, anything more i do for February, it’s bonus! yeah!

as much as i want to try to read my tarot book i’m working on, i have had this pull to start in on the True Heart Intuitive Tarot Deck. i got the deck because i heard that the book is an eye opener when it come to the cards.

 

i really need to finished The Starman Tarot because that book is a trip and half…

 

and i did get some year for a project that is on my goals of this year. i need to sit and plot and buy yellow yarn also.

tonight, i drink!

Witchy Prompts, Day 17

Do you associate certain Gods with specific songs? Share them!

 

I think David Bowie is one of the Higher Powers so his music is divine.

I think of Thor (more of the Marvel one) when I hear AC/DC’s “Thunderstruck”.

Andrew Lloyd Webber wrote Jesus Christ Superstar, a whole musical version of a passion play.

There are songs that make me think of Deity over all, like the story of the “Hallelujah Chorus”. It’s said when Handel got writing that part, he was crying because it just poured out of him so fast.

There is the overall feeling I feel when I use to perform in a Baptist church orchestra and certain songs, especially when the choir joined us, that I felt the spirit coming down over us.

And that is my view on music, overall. I use the term “It felt like church” when I went to Ozzfest. The way Hatebreed and Disturbed person and conducted themselves on stage, I felt the Spirit there.

I just need to think on this more and write how I see music and the Great Divine work together.

 Prompts Found Here.