it's only for 2 weeks

4 years ago, i started the tag, during the plague. it was to mark everything that was going on in this 2-week episode of this illness that will pass.

and we still here, in 2024.

i’m done with using the tag. my blogs/journals are dated. when history comes knocking, i have it written down. my view of this pandemic is different from what i have seen.

there was no lockdown for me. i worked retail. i went to work. if i didn’t go to work, i wouldn’t get paid and life would suck.

all the things that would refresh me from being a retail worker, didn’t happen: my 10th anniversary trip, seeing Marvel movies, celebrating turning 40, nope.

i went 302 days in a row of sleeping in my own bed. there were no trips to take and no boyfriend to come see me.

i didn’t get to stay home, become Tic-Tok famous, dye my hair, learn something, rest, day drink all day, work from home.

got up, went to work, pretend that everything was ok and not weird at all that i carried a note from work saying why i was out of my house, in case i got pulled over.

it’s not over. it may not be over but i am done marking it.

blar

ok, where were we?

i feel odd that i’m not doing anything for Spring Equinox. i am warding and that is it’s own deal.

maybe i am doing something, i just didn’t realize it.

i know i haven’t been writing. i need to. the cards keep calling me out on it.

i don’t know what to write. stuff has happen but, that’s for another day. this isn’t my place to put down the daily life of a queer witch.

i don’t want that responsibility.

weekly update

i did nothing to improve myself this past week.

weekly update

i’m 98% done for the month, 27% for the year, giving me a D- right now.

new month means new set of goals to work on.

i need to get on reading my books about the weeds and trees that grow in my backyard. spring is coming and i want to take a walk in my woods and know the trees.

i am behind on this witchcraft change on writing down stuff. i am slowly working on it and am having fun with it. i hope to turn this into my Feral Opossum Witchcraft book.

i also got a hell of an inspiration to write about tarot. i need to type it up.

weekly update

i’m 140% done for the month, 26% for the year giving me a B- grade.

i got so much done last week when Matthew was here. i was surprised and happy.

i am still going forward with all things. i have a fear that i am going to get “everything” done and will have to wait to the end of the year for some of the yearlong goals.

weekly update

i’m 123% done for the month, 22% for the year, giving me a C.

by Saturday i want to hit 124%.

i need to clean before Matthew get here.

the world is a vampire

well, we are here.

the cleaning is coming along. i was able to knock some shit as done because i had cleaned so hard last month.

and the laundry, that sits for a week? it took me 9 mins to get it put away.

i can do shit, if i put myself to it.

on a dark note, i think i have hit a midlife crisis. songs of my youth are coming back and hitting me harder with their meanings. The Wallflowers with “One Headlight” hit like a brick last year and keeps coming towards me. Smashing Pumpkins “Bullet with Butterfly Wings” is screaming at me, right now.

and over all this, there is the sense that i am a lost child in this world. by my research, i am a Gen-Xer. i don’t feel it. i also don’t feel like a Millennial. things that people my age cry as hallmarks of childhood just never hit me. i don’t know if it’s because i was raised out in the sticks and slightly poor.

i know i had a crisis right before i hit 30 and my 40th birthday was marred by the pandemic, so, here we are now.

a memory came up the other day. my history professor said that as women get older, they get more religious. at the time, i was a 20 something women witch and i thought, not my ass.

well, my 40 something non-binary ass is trying to write down what my path is and trying to get more into a daily practice.

can’t fight that AFAB life path.

threw the cards for this week. we will see what happens next.

weekly update

i’m 106% done for the month, 19% for the year, giving me a D-. :-/

new month and a new set of goals to do. i know i am done for the month but i want to be done for the year. i know i can do it, i just need to get working at it.

work has been hell this past week. i’ve not mention that i will be gone for 2 days next week, as i don’t fucking care.

Matthew will be here next week and there brings it’s own set of problems.

weekly update

i am 182% done for the month, 17% done for the year, giving me an A!

i almost got all of February goals done. i will as soon as i interview and crochet a bag for A Cozy Witch Tarot.

i did not like that guidebook but i love the artwork. it has made me rethink buying any of her witchcraft books.

I am comfortable

wrote this last night on Tumblr. wanted it “written down” for my own records.

 

It’s Friday night. I took my shower, put on clean pjs, and I am in bed. The crockpot upstairs is cooking the chicken I will meal prep for my weekly lunches.

I took a (legal) pot gummy and am having a glass of wine. Fury Road is playing on my tablet.

Is this the life my D.A.R.E officer worried I would have? It was way too late, at age 12, to tell me booze was bad. And then tell me drugs would make me see music and hear colors, like that didn’t sound awesome to me, stuck in my small town, Catholic school?

I work full time, pay my bills on time, striving, “…got dreams he’ll never take away”.

And get high twice a week.

This is not the adulthood I thought I would have, in my D.A.R.E days. It’s better and worser then I thought but,

I am comfortable.

:-)

weekly update

i am 171% done for the month, 16% done for the year, giving me a A grade.

my bathroom is still clean and makes me so happy every time i walk in.

still going on the Cozy Witch tarot. it is fluffier then i thought it was going to be. i know i don’t want to buy any of Amanda Lovelace’s witchcraft books base off of her tarot deck.

i am still going forward. i want to clean my kitchen this weekend in. i did call in, probably could have gone to work but fuck it. i don’t care that much to risk everything for that place.

Pat did take in my ideas for endcaps for 79. that is a plus.

Colt, i worry about him. i think he is having a rough week (what kind of fucking evil coworker mocks your cat?) and i don’t know have all the powers to make it better for him.

i wish i could.

weekly update

i am 168% done for the month, 15% done for the year, giving me a A-.

the cards are calling me out. daily and with readings. i’m using the Modern Witch deck and i do recall it being a bit bitchy so…

i really just want to clean my bathroom today…

Wednesday night musings

i almost want to do a weekly update but, there will be time for that later.

i got my vanity clean! i want to attack the bathroom Saturday, and hopefully the outer area to boot.

i am reading. that is going forward. i know my other goals can wait until i get the 1st layer of cleaning down.

i get the cleaning down then i can work on upkeep and not overhauling, and then life will be better? i hope this plan works.

and rethinking that upkeep and cleaning as an act to honor my ancestors. that makes it more of a spiritual practice then anything else.

i need to shower and watch the 1st ep of Echo.

weekly update

i am 163% done for the month, 15% done for the year, giving me a B+!

i must get my laundry under control. i wash it, i just never put it away. today’s goal is laundry, and then the mess in the greater area.

i realized that things i want to do must take a back seat to getting the fucking cleaning under control.

it’s why part of my goals is to clean, once a month, the whole lair. things can’t too bad if i make an effort to clean at least once a month.

i think i need to changed the order of the books i need to read. i think if i hit Cleaning Sucks it will help with my over all cleaning for the year.

time to get off my ass and do something.

blar

did i want to spend my time off getting work done or doing the work?

it was spent off, doing nothing.

but i go back to work tomorrow and back to a regular set schedule. time to get shit done and made progress.

“first” step is to get an air pump and some contact paper to get my ball and desk in better shape.

i have the ideas, i need to put stuff into practice.

it all needs to be put into practice.

feral

This place is always such a mess
Sometimes I think I'd like to watch it burn
I'm so alone
Feel just like somebody else
Man, I ain't changed, but I know I ain't the same

 

Spiritual awakings should not come from a Wallflower’s song from my teen years.

Hello. My name is Amerwitch, Amer for short, and this is year 2024. I spent the most of 2023 being a devote of the goddess Karpo and she blessed me with an awaking that I want to make true, this year.

Last year the theme was “King”, based on the Florance and the Machine song. A lot of my thoughts come from Florance and the Machine.

She put me under a spell…

And if we are picking Florance and the Machine’s songs for this year it is “Delilah”.

But what for a theme? What one word shall I use on my blog to show everything that happen in 2024? What word will be my reminder every time I write, reminding me of who I suppose to be, this year?

Feral.

It is the word and theme for this year. I want to write a book on my witchcraft, on my path, the Feral Opossum Witch. I want to work on my oracle deck, the Vulture Arcanum.

This year is a focus on me and a focus on my path. I am not a Bride, I am not a Mother, I am King.

A Feral Opossum Witch King.

2023

In the year of Our Lord-

a new month and a new set of goals.

oh, what a world we weave when we are high on the crack pipe

i’m 120% done for the month, 40% for the year, giving me a B- grade because new month and all.

i’m 119% done for the month, 50% for the year, giving me a B grade.

what the hell is going on with me?

hello.

where have i been?

i’m 91% done for the month, 68% done for the year, giving me a B- grade.

well, i’m still here.

i am 77% done for the month, 71% for the year, giving me a C grade.

i have a 5-day weekend coming up and i want to spend it well.

in the beginning there was nothing but the ever-present screaming of the void

it is amazing what happens when you get a working keyboard and mouse.

so, i kinda got my new work station up. i need some contact paper on my old desk to make it prettier and i will have a written journalling spot. that should be fun to work with in the new year.

the basement is a hot mess and i don’t know when it will be neater. i wanted to start the year off with it clean and that didn’t happen. i am finally getting out of my depression hole and but it is still a slow walk back.

2024 is just going to start off when ALL the cleaning going on. that’s just it. try to get everything up to date so i do not have this filth about me.

plans

i have a 5-day weekend coming up and i want to spend it well.

i want to spend Wednesday on work shit.

i want to buckle down and get going.

Day 29

i feel like i am living in two different timelines at the same time.

it is still 2023, i am still working on those goals, ain’t i? what didn’t get done is being carried over into 2024 so, i am working on 2 different set of goals that are both the same.

i am also dealing with 2 very different themes with my life. 2023 was King, based on Florence and the Machine’s song of the same name.

i have listen to so much Florence and the Machine this year.

and i have a theme for next year but i also must do my yearlong reading, which i am changing on how that roll, to see if everything lines up.

i am still cleaning, still working on that goal of “My empty halls to echo with grand self-mythology.”

and i have a new desk to put together and redo my work station.

shower and reading for me tonight.