update

i am 67% done for the month, 12% done for the year, giving me a F.

i am not doing good. i fall into the Sims hole and not doing any The Work.

i don’t think i am going to reach my goal for this month. things just got away from me and Sims is sucking me down.

and with all that’s going on, i’m not seeing Izzy till freaking Ostara. haven’t seen them since Halloween and we are both ready for another date.

there is something poetic about the lining of our dates. and pagan.

they see me as a whole person and i swear it’s the first time a partner has seen me as a whole person. maybe it’s because i am a whole person now, not finding bits of myself and building who i am.

i need to get back on track. reading a page a day is moving forward and i’m not even doing that.

here’s to hoping by next week i am moving forward.

Witchcraft VIII

How do I believe magic works?

 

I believe that there is an energy that flows. I believe that magic is part of that, if not that. I believe that when I use certain herbs and colors and what not, I am bending that energy to make into that, i.e. using lavender to make things calm.

Witchcraft Prompts

the cards said to write and here i am

the cards said to write and here i am.

things are good. things are moving forward. i need to pick up speed but overall, i am content with myself.

Lent started today and i be damn if an asshole tried to manplain it to me. 8 years of Catholic wasn’t for nothing, motherfucker.

keep having chats with Izzy about stuff and, i’m going down a path i never thought i would. i don’t know if i am 100% certain and don’t know if i will live up to what they want but i am willing to try.

i have high hopes we see each other next week. i have hope in myself that i can live up to the texts i’ve been sending him.

i want to talk to Nicole but i am hesitant about it. i don’t know if i can commit to something so why ask for advice?

Fat Monday

want to write, have nothing to write.

Wednesday is Ash/Fish Day and i will be damn if any one tries to explain it to me.

trying to get another date with Izzy and shit keeps coming up. the texts, i think i am in danger but the good kind.

i think i am in good hands.

i just want those hands on me.

today marks 3 years of being celibate and being a recreational marijuana user. it also marks being 2 years single and 10 months of texting Izzy.

i am moving forward. just not in the ways i think i would be.

time to get some shit done to do The Work tonight.

blar

well, it’s been a week.

work has been a trip, mostly due to higher ups coming in and being dicks. that’s all i have to say about that shit.

Sims have been fun and i am trying to work a good balance of playing them and getting The Work done.

the cards say to study and i am failing with that. i need to clean a bit to get to the studying.