January 11, 2025

getting shit done

i cleaned my bedroom and put all my clothes away.
that was a hell of a win for me today.
next Saturday i want to get the living room under control. and maybe get the altars cleaned on Wednesday.
my goal to get everything cleaned by VD day is becoming more and more of a real thing. i thought it wasn’t going to be possible but fuck, it’s becoming real!
fuck yeah!
mostly due to part of me being off work for 3 days because of snow. i shouldn’t have been excited, on my snow day, to spend it cleaning my bathroom, knowing that the next day i will get more cleaning done.
i seem to lose my shit/gods damn mind in October, after my birthday, that takes me 3 months to come to. i don’t want to do that this year. i want to leave this place spotless and come home to it clean.
and that starts now. i am very gun-ho to get this place under control. then i can move onto the more magical things that need to be done.

January 8, 2025

weekly update

i am 83% done for the month, 8% done for the year, giving me a F.
go me.
go me indeed. i got my head on straight about this shit.
i am cleaning. i can not focus on any of my studies while living in less-than-ideal lair.
plus, i want this place shinier in case anyone wants to visit me.
my 5 days of fun are over. tomorrow i go back to work. i have no clue how that place will look like but, eh. i’ll start fires if needed.
Saturday i have hopes of getting my bathroom clean. 20 mins on, 10 mins off, all while listening to Unend is how i’m going to do it. i got my vanity and most of the area around it cleaned off. bathroom seems the next stuff.
i want everything cleaned by the end of the month. i think i can swing it. then i can start working on the next level.

January 7, 2025

court day!

court was today.
court? why did i have to go to court today? to show up as an heir to my father.
to settle some estates.
Grandma died in 2012. nothing was done with The Farm.
Larry (my uncle) died in 2017. nothing was done with The Farm.
my family commandeered Grandma’s house. no one was living in it, since my uncle died, and our trailer was going to shit.
then my father died.
so, who owns what now?
well, to the best i know, Grandma’s name was still on everything and with half of her children dead, why changed anything? my aunt, Elaine, didn’t want to change anything “too much” in case any one of my dead relatives would come back.
from the dead.
so, some how my brother sorted out that we could sue, someone (?), to settle father’s estate and thusly, settle ALL THE FUCKING SHIT THAT HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR THE PAST 13 YEARS!
by the end of the year, the house could have my name on it.
and that reminds me of a story.
once upon a time, young Amer read every fucking book on the Salem Witch trails in the library. just started top left and read down the shelf.
what she remembers is most of the women accused were older, had property, and no men folk in charge of them. see, if you got arrested, the cops got all your stuff.
me getting my name on this house would put me on a witch goal i never knew i wanted.
i saw signs yesterday. i keep wanting to make an ancestor altar but something keeps me from it.
and now i think i know why.