i’m 130% done for the month, 32% for the year, giving me a B- for grade.
i need to work.
and my plan after posting this is to get some fucking work down. i want next week Sunday to be a day of rest and reading and that involves doing the work NOW.
the pot is getting to me, in a good way? i’m not drinking so, there’s that. i don’t go looking for destressing herbs, because i have pot. last night i got the feel to write but i’m also tired so, that didn’t go anywhere.
maybe some uppers and pot will give me something different…
off to get some work done!
where do i start?
i was killing a bit of time and was looking over the herbs and vits at the store when i saw the ones to help with stress and i laughed. i laughed because i have weed at home.
and as i sit here, i feel the idea of a story bubbling. i don’t know what and i don’t know if it means anything but it is there.
i have a weekend coming up and i want so hard to work on cleaning THIS Saturday, hopefully do something on Wednesday (am going shopping with Mother), work again on Saturday so on Sunday i can relax.
this is almost like its own kind of high.
i need to sit down and look over my goals and put them in an order of doing them. maybe not all of them but a good chunk of them.
mostly the books to read and the decks to study. by putting them in an order i have a map and can start making some forward progress.
along with that, i can put my other goals into another list.
i keep throwing away my days off and i don’t know how to stop that. i deleted TikTok so maybe that will help…?
i am not. i am not doing all that i should do and i don’t know why i-
what happens if i have that “perfect” life that is always outside my reach? i achieve an order and cleanliness-
if cleanliness is next to godliness, fuck all if that’s not a devotion to my deity…
to shower, to catch up on The Last of Us and hopefully crochet in there.
my mind is moving too fast right now.
