if i try, i can win for the year.
new plans, i will sit and relax Saturday night. i don’t know how but i will.
i need to sit down and write out some harder plans for what i want to get done before 2023. there are ideas in my head but i want some plans on paper.
this week has been a week and i want, no. i want to be in a routine of sorts by 2023. i want things to happen on certain days and live that life.
and that will take planning and working.
i think i really need to work on getting my crafting table cleared off so i can make some stuff that will go with my plans.
and then i can clean out and reorganized my bedroom.
and then the living room needs a clean out.
and prep some ideas for Days of Bowie.
i need to get a notebook and do some work in it.
i’m just going to drink and watch Yellowstone.
I want to be Better.
To be Better, I need to put in The Work.
To put in The Work, I need to work.
And that is the stopping stone.
From the top, what will happen to me if/when I am Better?
Define Better: being better means a clean living space, working out, a daily practice of my religion, a sense that my time off is dedicated to creativity and not to catching up with life.
Clean living space- it means what it means. Everything is put away, trash gone, closet organized, bathroom sparkles, there is no need for overhaul, just upkeep. Clean to let Babies come down. Clean so Colt can visit.
Working Out- putting in the time to move my body to get healthier, to get stronger.
Daily practice- become more magickal. To connect to what is out there, establish ties to the other worlds, aspire to a higher life. I want to my Mystical!
Time off- I feel I don’t own my time. I feel that because I don’t do “The Work” because WORK is soul-sucking, eye bleeding, mind-destroying, I need “Rest,” and then I feel guilty about “Rest” as I see it as laziness, that fucking Puritan thought-form.
I don’t come from Puritan. I come from English Quakers and German Lutherans.
I need to reset my thought into action. Easier said than done.
This power has to come from within, in a long, slow, painful procedure.
To get Better.
I haven’t done this spread in a while, and I need some directions.
I have Ace of Wands. Yes, I have all this new in me. I have made plans, but I just can’t get off my ass and do the things!
I want Reversed 6 of Swords. I want to stay in a rut? That’s that fear creeping into my mind. I want to move, but I just feel unable to.
I don’t think Reversed Sun. Too much good times in my life right now….
I feel Reversed Queen of Wands. YES! I don’t feel anything right now! I work retail, and with Black Friday and Christmas coming towards me like a black train of death, I have stress and anxiety! Good times!
Overall: Chariot. Fuck, I need to focus on what I want and then act on it…
