this is

Halloween is almost here. i know i will be able to celebrate the good time once i am done with work.

and with Halloween and the end of October, there is that ugly thing called Black Friday and Christmas coming to rear its ugly head at me.

i almost can’t celebrate Halloween fully with that shit hanging over my head.

what breaks me is how i see November anymore. i see it as a time of prayer and reflection. i see it as a time to pause and sort out life before diving into December.

let me try to break it down.

Oktober is about Halloween and my birthday. it’s about it being fall and weather cooling off and leaves falling on the ground and everything is spooky.

after the sex of Halloween, November is my afterglow. it’s full-on fall and it’s just this quite time to be. it’s not the winter of December or the call of Yule and New Year’s, just this peaceful time of November.

December is either the month of getting shit done or plotting out your attack of the new year.

and surviving fucking Christmas while working in retail.

so, i feel the icy grip of death and Christmas on me.

i hope just to have one nice night of Halloween before it all goes to shit.