i’m 140% done for the month, 26% for the year giving me a B- grade.
i got so much done last week when Matthew was here. i was surprised and happy.
i am still going forward with all things. i have a fear that i am going to get “everything” done and will have to wait to the end of the year for some of the yearlong goals.
i’m 123% done for the month, 22% for the year, giving me a C.
by Saturday i want to hit 124%.
i need to clean before Matthew get here.
well, we are here.
the cleaning is coming along. i was able to knock some shit as done because i had cleaned so hard last month.
and the laundry, that sits for a week? it took me 9 mins to get it put away.
i can do shit, if i put myself to it.
on a dark note, i think i have hit a midlife crisis. songs of my youth are coming back and hitting me harder with their meanings. The Wallflowers with “One Headlight” hit like a brick last year and keeps coming towards me. Smashing Pumpkins “Bullet with Butterfly Wings” is screaming at me, right now.
and over all this, there is the sense that i am a lost child in this world. by my research, i am a Gen-Xer. i don’t feel it. i also don’t feel like a Millennial. things that people my age cry as hallmarks of childhood just never hit me. i don’t know if it’s because i was raised out in the sticks and slightly poor.
i know i had a crisis right before i hit 30 and my 40th birthday was marred by the pandemic, so, here we are now.
a memory came up the other day. my history professor said that as women get older, they get more religious. at the time, i was a 20 something women witch and i thought, not my ass.
well, my 40 something non-binary ass is trying to write down what my path is and trying to get more into a daily practice.
can’t fight that AFAB life path.
threw the cards for this week. we will see what happens next.
i’m 106% done for the month, 19% for the year, giving me a D-. :-/
new month and a new set of goals to do. i know i am done for the month but i want to be done for the year. i know i can do it, i just need to get working at it.
work has been hell this past week. i’ve not mention that i will be gone for 2 days next week, as i don’t fucking care.
Matthew will be here next week and there brings it’s own set of problems.
