put a ring on it

i got proposed to, in a way.

Colt, Colt presented the idea of me and him running away, together. he had it thought out.

i’m not really moved into the basement fully. i know i have way too much stuff for whatever place i would have to share with him.

fuck, he mentioned a house.

his selling point was a better life then what i have here, in the basement, and at The Store. and man, do i not like that.

the basement, this life of living underground is so much better than the squalor i was living in at the Shack in the Woods. i am happy with no walls and an all cement bathroom.

and, The Store. life at The Store has gotten better once the cunts left. there is still a lot to improve on all that but for now, it’s ok. i don’t know what else i would be good at to do.

he said “and [being] gay together elsewhere”. does he really see me as my queer self, being all asexual?

Colt, don’t fuck with me right before i got to do to bed.

i did stuff

i did stuff today.

i made a list of all the things that i want to get down last week. this was a list that was made for a year’s worth of projects, not a 3-day weekend get done. i wrote them on index cards and put them in my skull bowl, to pull at random when i knew i needed to do something but i don’t know what.

i’ve yet to pull from them. i just have been working on stuff. on my own. yeah?

but that

last night Phantom was on the YouTubes last night. i got Colt to watch it with me.

i drank one bottle of wine and three-fourths of a pizza. it was great.

i broke down during “Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again” over Grandma R and Colt. i don’t know when i’m gonna see him and it hurts.

i need to get going. i’m gonna eat some frosted flakes and clean.

Witchcraft Ask, Day 105

Day 105. What is a pagan or witchcraft rule that you preach but don’t practice?

i don’t preach. pagan/witchcraft covers a lot of ground and there’s lots of things that people follow. i’m not here to say this or that. i live my path, the best i can.

witchcraft prompts can be found here.

Witchcraft Ask, Day 104

Day 104. Which of your five senses would you say is your strongest?

smell.

witchcraft prompts can be found here.

Witchcraft Ask, Day 103

Day 103. What is the one question you get asked most by non-practitioners or non-pagans? How do you usually respond?

i really don’t get asked questions. i give off Big Bitch vibes and no one messes with me too much.

witchcraft prompts can be found here.

day two of my 3-day weekend

i got a bit more done today, i think.

got the flowers mostly repotted, that’s a good thing.

i did get all the spread i wanted off of Instagram and in my BOS. that was a year foal and i’m glad i got that done.

yesterday i did fill my skull with all the notes of things to do. i have not used that yet but i feel motivated to work, so maybe i don’t need it. it will just sit there and be a reminder of how i need to get shit done.

i moved inches today and i feel great.

Witchcraft Ask, Day 102

Day 102. What is your favorite color and why?

black, then purple. red is my power color.

why? how the fuck do you answer a why to something that just chimes with your soul?

witchcraft prompts can be found here.

day one of my 3-day weekend

did i get anything done? maybe?

i did get some cleaning done, not all i wanted. Kelly showing up in the middle of the day threw a wrench in my plans.

i, i got an idea for what to do tomorrow. a loose plan is better then nothing at all, right?

am i going to be able to do magick tonight? i don’t know. maybe just some card readings and see what the night takes me.

i’ve never tried outside a circle before. kinda scared to see if i get the same responses i do with a circle.

Witchcraft Ask, Day 101

Day 101. Do you eat meat, eggs and dairy?

yes.


witchcraft prompts can be found here.

Witchcraft Ask, Day 100

Day 100. Do you believe in many gods or one God with many faces?

each deity is their own thing. together, they make up the overall higher power that there is.

witchcraft prompts can be found here.

Witchcraft Ask, Day 99

Day 99. Do you believe witchcraft gets easier with time and practice?

yes and no. i think it gets easier because you learn more and have more info at hand.

harder because you start burning through the fluff and try to find the gold. you grow past the shiny books and start reading the dry books that have no thills but all the information.

witchcraft prompts can be found here.

Witchcraft Ask, Day 98

Day 98. How did you feel when you cast your first circle? Did you stumble or did it go smoothly?

magickal. it was the bubble that i created and i felt that i was here, i had arrived at being a witch.

witchcraft prompts can be found here.

Witchcraft Ask, Day 97

Day 97. What do you think is the best time and place to do spell work?

that goes with who you are and what you practice.

i do my magick according to the moon phases and mostly at night.

witchcraft prompts can be found here.

Witchcraft Ask, Day 96

96. Do you prefer day or night? Why?

dusk to night.

i’ve been that way since i was little. it was the way i was made.

witchcraft prompts can be found here.

Resurrection Weekend

last night i got good and drunk.

there was a live drag show on Facebook and that’s where the cherry vodka showed up.

and Colt had the balls to say i don’t have the personality to be a drag queen. *flips hair* bitch, do you not know me?

i got things to do this week before my Resurrection Weekend. i want to go down for 3 days and come back whole.

i’m getting St. John’s Wort today, and start taking it. i hope that helps with some of this fucking stress.

work is how i make it today. i’m trying to gear up a good attitude and take out all the bitches today.

plague update

all the Marvel movies got pushed back. i have no clue when i’m gonna see Colt again.

i cried Friday night. this is all stress and it’s bearing on me.

i got an idea for a new story and i am going with it. the cards said so.

speaking of cards, i’m picking from the Halloween Tarot, Flower-Speak, and Halloween Oracle. it’s been a trip seeing how all three cards play together.

i still want to write something really new and fresh. i don’t know what. i think it will be supernatural but i don’t know where or when.

i think i’m gonna start taking St. John’s Wort. i am not dealing well with what’s going on and i’m hoping that will help.

i wish Colt was more proactive in our relationship. i’m the one who yells first. i know he’s not reading my blog because YOU’RE A JACKASS, COLT!

i need a drink.

Witchcraft Ask, Day 95

Day 95. Did visualization come easily to you or did you have to practice at it?

i think it comes easy for me. i grew up with an active imagination and just kept up with it.

witchcraft prompts can be found here.

Witchcraft Ask, Day 94

Day 94. What techniques do you use to 'get in the zone’ for meditation?

lighting my candles, turning on my meditation program, get comfortable, and then i go.

witchcraft prompts can be found here.

Witchcraft Ask, Day 93

Day 93. What’s one piece of advice you’d give someone who is searching for their matron and patron deities?

as someone on that course right now, i am seeking advice on how to do that.

witchcraft prompts can be found here.

still apocalyptic

ok, where are we in this world?

well, i kept saying we are in a post-apocalyptic world but no, we are still in the apocalyptic part of this world.

i have papers saying that i am an essential worker and that’s why i can be out in the public. of all the years of shit from people, i am fucking saving the world by making sure the new shorts are on the racks at work.

i am very tired of seeing all the fun people are having but being quarantined at home. i know, i am lucky and have a job and have a paycheck coming in but i am so fucking tired of it all.

i get a 3-day weekend next week and so far, there is no plans to do anything but stay home. that sounds so fucking nice right now.

and work, it’s like Black Friday times stupid. and fucking Chris is driving me mad with just her very being. it’s the goodie bags and ice cream and fucking hell! i had to invoke my Catholicism to prove a point she don’t know shit.

and i got to go back tomorrow and face it all again.

PS: we got some MARVELous shirts in the other day. it had everybody on it and i almost started crying, right then and there. it would be the perfect shirts for me and Matthew and Colt to wear to Black Widow.

but that got pushed back. and a time and date for when i will see my DarkShark got pushed back also. i don’t know when i will see him and it’s killing me. i miss him, so fucking much right now.

if you’re reading this AssButt, i love you. txt me.

mind/body/soul, part IV

Mind

Reading: With the books, 36%. I am reading mostly Dune right now, just to get it over.

Writing: Whoot, 3%! I did finish that one part of “Adventures of the DarkShark and His Witch”. I want to write something that’s not that but I don’t know what. With this pandemic going on, I want to write something that’s not post-apocalyptic.

Blogging: 52% My prompts are ending soon so I will have to really start writing.

Overall: 30% 

Body

Weight Loss: 23% Things got weird with the pandemic going on. Trying hard to deal with that and doing this.

Steps: 94% SO GLAD I DID THIS! I am working on this. On my days off, I try to move as much as I can.

Working Out: 0% I got some vids saved. I need to look at them and see what I can do about it.

Lose It: 0% Yeah.

Overall: 29% 

Soul

Witchcraft: 25% I have a full moon ritual that I do and I am so happy with that.

Tarot: 50% I have been good with my Cards of the Day but other things are falling by the wayside.

Crafting: 17% I did sit and work on Colt’s thing this month. I am happy about that.

Overall: 31%

Still at that third spot. Can’t seem to get over that hump.

Last Saturday I realized that I had nothing to clean. I had cleaned it the other week and kept it neat.

And I did nothing for the rest of the day.

I have a plan now. I have a plan on getting shit done. I’ve made a list and charts and that still is not making inches happen.

New plan, new bulletin board, new skull full of index cards with things to do so that when I am in need of something to do, I can see what’s needed to be done.

Let’s April going and move some fucking inches.

Witchcraft Ask, Day 92

Day 92. What is the most spiritual or magickal place you’ve been?

i’ve been to Disney World a few times.

i’ve been to The Fabulous Fox Theater. that place is it’s own world.

i’ve sat between the men i love while watch Endgame in 3D IMAX.

like, truly place, it’s everywhere and nowhere. it’s the here and there. it’s the song playing on the radio at the right moment. it’s casting the cards and they tell you the fucking truth.

like Auntie Em said, if you can’t be happy in your own backyard, there’s something wrong with you.

witchcraft prompts can be found here.