rainbow it up bitches!

i wanted to write more about Pride and the colors i fly under the rainbow flag.

actually, i usually have an existential crisis every June because this voice tells me that i am cis straight woman and have no rights to be under the rainbow.

discovering that i am an ace/demisexual put me under the rainbow. that label works so well for my mindset and i stand hard on it.

but, am i cis?

and this past year, i am going hard on the no.

i am not 100% comfortable using the term non-binary but it’s what i’m going with for now. and i am saying that i am that bitch who saw the non-binary flag and thought it was the prettiest one and using that term just based on the flag colors.

fight me.

at the end of the day, am i a 100% straight? no. am i a 100% cis? no.

and that’s enough for me to fly under the rainbow flag.

hi

i often tell others to get something out of your head, you need to write it down.

i had plan for a more elaborate post, since it’s Pride, but this year’s Pride is a bit different so, this is this for now.

i know it was on the Tumblr that i found the term asexual (and then demisexual) and that made all sense to me. and i read what i could find and the more and more i read the more it felt right.

i am not straight, i am an asexual/demisexual. there’s a lot of other labels under the umbrella of asexual and i really don’t go hard for all that (cool if you do).

and i remember how i didn’t feel like i “belong” with the whole LGQTBIA+ home and the rainbow flag. and i remember a lesbian i followed on Twitter making a very passion thread about if you are not straight, then you are queer, and you belong under the rainbow flag. it, it made me feel that if one of the “real” gays made such a statement then (it was 2016/2017, the world was different back then) then i could fly under the rainbow flag.

so, it’s now 2020 and i’m an out and proud asexual. where do we go from here?

i’m non-binary!

the more i have thought about it, the more i knew that i wasn’t 100% cis anymore. there’s a lot of words out there but, for now, i’m going with non-binary.

to The DarkShark

Dear Colt,

 In the past eight years, I have learned a lot about myself due to you.

 I learned that the 4 yr old who only wanted a boyfriend, could have the love and be loved by two men and be polyamorous.

 I learned that I am not a broken thing; I'm asexual/demisexual. 

 And I and more and more sure I am not cis.  Non-binary is the closest word I've found that works for me, and that's what I'm using for now.

 I would not be this person if it weren't for you and the love we had for each other.

 I will not be in a relationship with someone who cannot respect me and all the labels I live under.

 When you have learned to take for who I am, so as not to give you a headache for existing, I'll be here.

 Your woman,

Your witch

Amer

 

PS:  That love spell, ever wonder that it may not be working because you can't accept the man of your dreams may not be a man?  That if you open your mind and heart, they'll appear?

Listen up witches

Listen up witches.

 I know there’s a lot of talk about y’all throwing some magick around tomorrow and I got a question for you.

 Are you backing that shit up?

 Are you donating money to the cause?  Lifting up black voices?  Spamming Twitter hashtags with K-pop fam cams?

 Or are you just lighting a candle to make yourself feel better?

 Just asking.  

like Celie says

i got to write my update sometime…

the world is still on fire, and possibly the start of a new Civil War might be going on, i don’t know, just google the news about this past weekend, future readers.  i can’t write about it without just losing my mind.

AND I AM STILL LIVING DURING THE PLAGUE!!!

and, still in the thick of an apocalypse.  go me.

there is just so much “bullshit” and its PRIDE and i got many feels in me but with no words to put it into.

i’m just posting to say i’m still alive.