i could do an update, with numbers and math, but i am moving by the smallest of inches and, blar.
trying to get a 2nd date. i am doing this thing where i want THIS and when i am presented with the chance of THIS, i want to run away.
no more. if i want to get there, i need to walk there. there is someone waiting for me, hell who wants to walk with me, and i need to get over this assery and become who i want to be.
i casted a love spell last Halloween and i am cashing it in.
i need to sit and write. not this typing on the laptop but with pen and paper and REALLY plot out what the hell i want and do this fall.
“I am worthy of love and happiness. I deserve all the good things that come into my life.
I trust in my ability to overcome challenges and grow stronger with each experience.
I choose to focus on the present moment and let go of worries about the past or future.
I am surrounded by love and support. I am connected with the universe and guided by its wisdom.”
i hit my goals for the month. anything more i do is just bonus points and less work in December.
i am working. i am done with the deck studying for the year and i started in on my witchcraft books. read it all, then go back and think about it and hit it again.
i am moving forward. it took a while but with the new season coming, i got to get going. and i am. i got shit done today, even after working upstairs. i can do this. an inch a day will get me there faster then nothing at all.
go me.
i tried to get the groundhog out to jump start spring and it didn’t work.
i did see the first crocus today! the snow is done and there is the start of spring! whoot!
work, work was getting to me on a spiritual level. things didn’t go bad or wrong, it was just, blargh.
i miss writing. i want to but i want to get other shit done first.
and that what is i am doing this year. i am focusing on one project at a time to get there. i am moving inches forward and it is getting me places.
there are things that i have been thinking about that i don’t want to put down on paper yet.
the idea of a paper journal, that may never see the light of day, is becoming and idea that i might have to do.
i’m 144% done for the month, 13% for the year, giving me a C+.
i think my goals are set for the year. things keep popping up and i need to change things.
the lair is almost base clean. i just need to hit the kitchen.
the more i get into the various Seasons of the Witch decks, the more i keep getting excited about how this is gonna change how i want to practice.
i know the next month brings a new program, for lack of word. going with the mind/body/soul theory of working on each one, one day at a time, making forward progress and moving inches.
time to get up and do some shit.
hello you fucking glory bitch of September!
August was ugly but i was prepared for it. it wasn’t bad, just, fucking August.
i have plans for this month. i want to be better. i keep saying this but, i am more realistic with what i want.
and i am off to get shit done.
i am 94% done for the month, 52% for the year, giving me a C.
i am working, just in circles it feels like.
i aim for a goal a week, something that will move me forward. it’s slow but forward moving.
so, where was i?
for the past year i have been trying to be a devotee to Karpo and theses past few weeks, i have felt cut off. i feel that someone is trying to get ahold of me, i don’t know who.
i know i need to read more and be more active in my witchcraft. i know witchcraft and religion can go hand in hand and that one is not the same as the other but i feel lost. i am trying to-
i am trying to live this new life. this life where i am working out, taking care of my body, crocheting, cleaning, being an adult.
being single…
i’m gonna let that hang out there and come back to it later.
i want to get done with the old X-Men cartoon so i can get going with the new.
i miss Colt. i should be seeing him in 3 weeks but i’m not. i won’t see him for 103 days.
i need to go to bed.
i’m 103% done for the month, 28% for the year, giving me a D grade.
today i want to clean and move forward.
and i will by getting off this fucking laptop and moving.
i’m 140% done for the month, 26% for the year giving me a B- grade.
i got so much done last week when Matthew was here. i was surprised and happy.
i am still going forward with all things. i have a fear that i am going to get “everything” done and will have to wait to the end of the year for some of the yearlong goals.
i’m 106% done for the month, 19% for the year, giving me a D-. :-/
new month and a new set of goals to do. i know i am done for the month but i want to be done for the year. i know i can do it, i just need to get working at it.
work has been hell this past week. i’ve not mention that i will be gone for 2 days next week, as i don’t fucking care.
Matthew will be here next week and there brings it’s own set of problems.
i have been Doing The Work. i need to do it today and get some shit out of the deep freezer before going top side.
i am making headway with my 2024 goals. i have a good list and plan and good idea on what i want to be.
i feel late to the game that i am in my mid 40’s and just now getting this shit sorted out. better late than never.
moving inches is still moving.
i have been able to put in 20 mins a day this week on cleaning The Lair. my goal is to get it all set to start the new year.
i am 73% done with this year goals. i know that my 2024 list has goals that i set in 2022 but if i keep moving, i will get there.
so for December, i will be Doing The Work on getting everything cleaner for 2024.
then we hit the ToDoList hard.
i’m 91% done for the month, 68% done for the year, giving me a B- grade.
i feel like i have much to do and i want to do it. it’s September and fall is in 3 weeks and i am working with my Mabon deck and i feel like stuff is slowly going my way.
i need to work more. i need to make myself better. i feel that i am at the place and i just need to push myself to do what i should be doing. i feel like if i can, the blessings will come.
i feel that it will be the season of the witch and i can shed this mortal skin and become one with autumn.
a new month and a new set of goals.
i want to get my tarot notebook done. i want to get my Codex updated and i want my Book of Shadows updated.
i need to get a deck studied this month.
the new month lowers my rate, which makes me feel that i am not working, but going forward will only raise it.
cleaning would help me too.
i did get the bathroom hardcore clean. i think i need to buy something to keep some stuff neater in it. and Matthew needs to work on his shit in there.
its my day off and i want to get an inch done today.
good morning.
it seems that my depression is getting the best of me. i’m not showering when i should and all i want to do is sleep.
i had a weekend off and none of that time was for me. even today, i have to go to The Store for reasons.
so, maybe next Wednesday then? a day off and stay home?
i am slowly working on my 2023 goals and getting that shit done. i wish i had the gumption to get up and clean more but, an inch is an inch.
it’s the fear of being better. what will happen to me if i am better. “if i show my family i am not a loser?” what will become of me then?
i need to eat breakfast.
i’m just happy to be home tonight.
i’m 117% done for the month and 20% done for the year! didn’t really get much done this week but i’m happy with some forward progress.
