Day 22: Favorite color?
October 22, 2017
October 21, 2017
it’s not that i learned the word “queer” this year but i’ve learned how to use it.
2016: asexual and demisexual.
2015: from a while ago but i’ve learned polyamorus and metamour.
2014: really have not learn any new worlds lately.
2013: fag hag.
and 99% of all this has to deal with Colt.
it’s been, interesting, to learn about my sexuality.
and part of me still thinks i am nothing but a straight girl and i’m just putting on airs about shit.
but, i know i am not straight. there’s too many flavors in me to just roll as a straight girl.
October 20, 2017
Colt, Ethan, Jessica, Matthew, Nicole, Shelby.
i’m glad this list has grown in the past 5 years.
October 19, 2017
beeswax and penguin pjs.
i have to get my credit card under control. i know if i can pay it off and not use it, i can start saving money a whole lot faster.
my thoughts turn to Florida and to my DarkShark and to memories that have come to the light of day.
once upon a time i had an Angel. he lived in Arizona.
he came and visit me.
one night, after many years, we had a hardcore talk. we decided that i would graduate and move to Arizona to be with him.
and 30 days later he had a girlfriend.
he came and visit me one more time, still having the same girlfriend.
and i am looking up my old journal to remember things.
and he left me and i never really have heard from him.
that was 12 years ago.
and the other year at Nicole’s, i started crying over losing him. i am so happy with Matthew (and you Colt) but i was there in her kitchen crying over losing him some 11 years ago.
this post did not turn out the way i planed.
my thoughts are on those October nights 12 years ago and with my DarkShark as he’s in Florida.
i pray he finds what he needs and not what he wants. sometimes we get what we need and it’s not what we want.
i tell Matthew he’s everything i ever needed and nothing that i wanted. and i’m happy with him. more so then with any other guy.
i’m praying and rooting for you DarkShark.