Autumn Equinox

Today is the Autumn Equinox. It’s a time when most are harvesting.

With modern paganism, it’s to look on what you planted (planned) in the springtime and see if it came to fruit while preparing for winter months.

Me, I live for fall. The fact that it cooled off where I lived, now, makes it feel like it’s real. I want to drink 7&7s and wear hoodies and just give in to Lady Autumn herself.

And while it is a time of harvest and thanksgiving, preparing for long cold winter months, I keep thinking how this is a time of planting. There are fall crops and the spring flowers that need to go into the ground now.

Fall is an end but I keep seeing it as a start. It’s the first day of a new season, like a mini new year, if you will. What can I get done before the end of this season?

Today’s cards tell me that today is a good day to start plans for what I want from Oktober, Halloween, and the long winter.

And be ready to shine come the springtime.

do you remember?

it’s fall. i don’t mean that “hey look, the Autumn Equinox!” but like full-on. the air is off and we have the windows open. i got off work at 10 Saturday and i thought i needed a hoodie when i go home!

speaking of hoodies, i got one from Woman Within. it comes down to my toes. it’s not as big around as i like nor is as black as i like but it is what i will be living in, once cold weather really kicks in.

today, i did art. i’m happy with the way i got the canvas prepped and now i got to paint it. fun times.

have i been working on my other goals for this month? no. i need to read more and crochet more.

and really, i want to write more. i want to hit 100 words a day during the month of Halloween. i need to finished that one story, that freaking poem, and then start on my new story.

i still have the wild plans of seeing Nicole for my birthday. it won’t be the fun party i thought it was gonna be but it will be something.

i need to write more. i need to post on my website in a timely matter.

i am feeling better. i need to be doing better.

who do angels pray to?

i am going hard on watching Supernatural, in a vain attempt to get it all re-watched before the rest of the final season starts.

in my re-watch, i was blessed with this quote that made me stop in my tracks:

“I mean, I spent so much time worrying about the son of a bitch. I mean, I've had more fun with you in the past twenty-four hours than I've had with Sam in years, and you're not that much fun. It's funny, you know, I've been so chained to my family, but now that I'm alone, hell, I'm happy.”

it made me pause and think about the last few months. and, it does feel i have been free of something, i still am chained to something.

somethings are just connected to you in ways you cannot cut.

there are lots of things going around in my head that i need to put on paper. or, print out all the things.

i went to a lit party, a few weeks ago.

as stated on Facebook:

Let me tell you about this party I went to last Friday! There was wine and guns and someone went topless and someone lost their pants! 10 out of 10, best 3 yr old birthday party, ever!

i have the best niece and nephew.

and i need to work so much more on myself.

mind/body/soul, part IX

Mind

Reading: i’ve made a plan of reading 3 pages of 2 books a day. inches baby, inches.

Writing: i’ve been working on a “Adventures of the DarkShark and his Witch” and i need to finish that poem and work on that new story.

Blogging: doing good there. i think i got some prompts i want to do for October but maybe save them for November…

Body

ok, let’s get real. 

this year has not gone to what i wanted and this part has fallen along the wayside.

Soul

Witchcraft: i am making inches in reading, which (ha ha ha), is about witchcraft!

Tarot: this will be its own entry.

Crafting: i have plans on my afghan. i need to redo my list of what i want to do.

ok, so, overall, what the hell is going on?

i am making marks. it is fucking small but i am going forwards.

and with all that is going on, it’s a big deal. i am in the bell jar but i am going forward, all while in this unending funk.

main goal for the month, i want out of the funk. if i can get there, boom.

bell jar

i’ve done a lot of thinking about things.

on January 1st, 2020, i don my pearls and hit the town. i went to the mall, i went to the movies, i ate in a restaurant.

i lived.

and that was the fucking last time i did any of that!

Marvel weekend, canceled. boyfriend’s birthday weekend, canceled. and i’m feeling that my birthday weekend is gonna be canceled too.

i got $2,100 sitting in the bank that should have been spent!

and everyday i walk by two pallets of freight that is the Halloween stuff and it’s not out for me to drool over.

and, i am getting SAD. it’s September, fall should be here, summer needs to die, i am tired of being fucking hot all the time! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

AND add the fact i’m not over this break-up with Colt.

see last entry about all that.

plus, i want another tarot deck. i have the two, and i love them, but damn if i don’t want some more flavor with my readings.

and i can’t find anything that strikes my fancy.

add this all up, and depression is just the ticket! i’m living in a bell jar!

i need to buy horns.