it was a good day.
did i do it all? no, but i got more done by setting smaller goals.
and i want to start planning 2025. i’m rethinking so much stuff. i think i am still working on this years goals, it’s just i’m rethinking everything.
and that is such a kick in my head.
i keep putting fixes on outside objects. this will fix me, this will fix me, this will fix me.
i am the only thing that can fix me.
and i know that should have been clear to me, but i am a dull crayon in the box of life.
it’s not a plan to start next year, it’s a plan to start this year, now.
and it’s a plan to start small.
it’s a plan to start with the fucking basics.
i can’t do all i want while my house is unkempt. that won’t fix me. me, actively cleaning and striving to be clean, that won’t fix me.
but me, changing, trying to be better…
that might do it.
i think i live in my head too much and need to change that.
i had a realization. if i get back to basic needs (Maslow's hierarchy of needs) i am doing it all wrong.
i really need to get my shit together and get this place clean. i need to set up a form of schedule to get things done. put stuff on paper and really do it.
i am too much in my head when it comes to sense of worship. i feel that i am not doing it right, when after my research i have found no concrete things. i can just make it up and work it out.
and then the doubt creeps in on if i am doing it wrong, ALL WRONG, why do it in the first place?
there is nowhere to go to find answers, this is all me. i am a lone witch on this project.
and i shield so hard, i can’t feel anything. i can’t feel the coming autumn, the nearness of my goddess lady.
BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR. BLAR!
i want to fall into-
i don’t know what. anything seems to be wrong to say out loud.
i know tomorrow i want to fall into my gummy and let the good times roll. i am tired and stress.
it was the miracle of hearing the voice of Mother Trauma this afternoon that seems to clear me of what had ailed me so hard last night.
fuck, i even wrote some!
i am going to take my shower, hit my bed, READ, and go to bed on time!
hello you fucking glory bitch of September!
August was ugly but i was prepared for it. it wasn’t bad, just, fucking August.
i have plans for this month. i want to be better. i keep saying this but, i am more realistic with what i want.
and i am off to get shit done.
