i tried but i am not going to win this year’s National Journaling Month.
i am going to win for the year. i may not get a 100% on all my goals, but it will be in the high 90’s.
i have noticed that i do not take a gummy every night, i get more stressed/anxious/depressed. i didn’t really take them this weekend and man, that hit on Saturday night.
and the idea of scheduling “selfcare”/magic nights is starting to look good. i need to set a focus on what i want that to look like.
i think that need to wait till i clean off my alter space, which will be after the living room. that might happen within the next 30 days.
maybe things will be clean for New Year’s.
good morning.
it seems that my depression is getting the best of me. i’m not showering when i should and all i want to do is sleep.
i had a weekend off and none of that time was for me. even today, i have to go to The Store for reasons.
so, maybe next Wednesday then? a day off and stay home?
i am slowly working on my 2023 goals and getting that shit done. i wish i had the gumption to get up and clean more but, an inch is an inch.
it’s the fear of being better. what will happen to me if i am better. “if i show my family i am not a loser?” what will become of me then?
i need to eat breakfast.
if i try, i can win for the year.
new plans, i will sit and relax Saturday night. i don’t know how but i will.
i need to sit down and write out some harder plans for what i want to get done before 2023. there are ideas in my head but i want some plans on paper.
this week has been a week and i want, no. i want to be in a routine of sorts by 2023. i want things to happen on certain days and live that life.
and that will take planning and working.
i think i really need to work on getting my crafting table cleared off so i can make some stuff that will go with my plans.
and then i can clean out and reorganized my bedroom.
and then the living room needs a clean out.
and prep some ideas for Days of Bowie.
i need to get a notebook and do some work in it.
i’m just going to drink and watch Yellowstone.
