update?

this is not how i thought this month would go.

i still feel that something is holding me back. like, i have depression and it’s not letting me live the life i want.

and on paper, things are good. friends, job, family, things look good.

so why can’t i put down my phone and actually do some fucking work?

i throw cards and it’s the same answer all the time, get up and fucking study.

i cut down on goals for the year because i am trying to get a better focus on who i want to be this year.

i see what the problem is and the laziness comes and gets me and i don’t do anything.

fuck, i don’t even play SIMS right now. that feels like too much work, trying to start up new houses and families.

i use to get my money goals in. not right now i am.

did it start when i crapped out on my posting my cards of the day? i have been trying very hard to get back into that.

let me post this, do a work out (I AM SEEING IZZY IN 15 DAYS I NEED TO LOOK GOOD!!!), and see what the night beings me.