full online, empty in real life.
April 30, 2017
April 29, 2017
i will be happy next weekend with Colt and Matthew.
April 28, 2017
not going to name names. i just wish i was in a diffident, more “normal” spot in my life.
2016: not going to name names. i just wish i was in a diffident, more “normal” spot in my life.
2014: Joss Whedon, just to know about Avengers 2!
April 27, 2017
i’ve been going over this a lot this year, trying to hone this down.
i am a German Roman Catholic cis school girl gone wrong/born again pagan demisexual witch, reader, writer, heterosexual life partner/girlfriend, ordained minister, girlfriend, lover, hardcore crocheter, proud nerdgirl, sister-in-law, and aunty.
2016: well, this year i came out as a butch, asexual cis woman in a polyamorous relationship with two queer cis men.
2015: i’m your typical German Roman Catholic school girl one wrong/born again pagan, witch, reader, writer, heterosexual life partner, ordained minister, girlfriend, lover, crocheter, proud nerdgirl, fag hag, and minion.
2014: fuck if i know. can i be jammed into one little box and boom, that’s me?
April 26, 2017
i remember the first story i write and illustrated. it was about potato chips, how this sour cream and onion one was adopted.
and when i hit high school, it was poetry. more when i hit college and had time to kill and heartache and depression to deal with.
college brought journaling in full forces and blogging. probably one of the few things i did before it was cool to do.
i wrote, and looking back on it now, gods i was a mess of a 20 something.
so, when i went to see Colt (and Guardians of the Galaxy) back in 2014 and didn’t write for the whole month of August, it was a red flag to myself. there was something so deep and dark in me, i couldn’t put words on paper to sort it out.
so, when i tell you you need to write, its because that’s the only way i know how to get the dark out of me, bit by bit. it’s how i can see things, just the words on paper, sorting out the massive lvl of crap in my head.
write, write the bad, write the good.
just fucking write. i wrote it out and posted it on the internet for the world to see.
it’s how i got here.
April 25, 2017
i wanted to write this one night but i was too tired. tired doing it this afternoon and yeah, i need the dark of night to write this.
i have so many days till my Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 adventure starts. there’s so much i got to get down and i’m not working very hard on that.
and, seeing Vol 2 is bringing up the feels from the last movie.
and it ain’t helping that “Stay With Me” has made it way to my playlist.
and, there’s Colt. once upon a time i had this silly thought that i was his one and only and that’s why he couldn’t find a boyfriend. i’m scared to go back to that thought right now.
and, he wants to cook for me and spoil me and i’m his light at the end of the tunnel.
(and if he’s the light at the end of my tunnel, does that mean we are on our way of crashing into each other?)
and it’s not the packing and plotting. it’s the simple fact it’s going to be me and my men, Colt and Matthew, and we will burn the town down with both my hands on each of their inner thighs.
it’s that fucking, it’s that inner 16 yr old that can’t come to grip on all this and she’s throwing her self-doubt all over me.
maybe if i can get the inner 4 yr old out, things will be better.
so much packing, shaving, waxing, dying, plucking, crocheting, magick, driving, and drinking to do to get it all together.
gods help me.
April 24, 2017
April 23, 2017
April 22, 2017
April 21, 2017
April 20, 2017
April 19, 2017
the dread of white spaces and an open keyboard.
the last time i wrote wrote was over a month ago. lots of happen. lots of stuff i’m not ready to post about.
Colt did come visit me. it was short and bittersweet. things were said, i wrote something but i don’t know if it will get posted.
i did get a good review and now can move up and beyond. we will see how that flies.
saw Jessica Monday and the children. Emily is walking and now wants to talk. this child is just never happy.
Max had his kittens on the Sunday before Ostara. he moved them and now they are MIA. i keep telling him to bring them back and he just looks at me.
and yes, i am using he/him pronouns with Max, even after he gave birth to 4 kittens. if this is a world with human men with beards, giving birth and breastfeeding, i can say Max is a he with his kittens.
plans are coming along for Guardians weekend. Colt want to cook for me. i’m kinda scared and turned on at the same time.
and sad. over txt he told me he wants to spoiled me because he has no one else.
and i’m in the middle of being sad about that fact: i’m Colt’s one and only with “hey 16 yr old self, you have two boys wanting to spoil you!”.
i never thought i would have such issues.
April 18, 2017
i had no problems?
2016: i know what earrings i’m wearing for #CivilWarWeekend and how i’m getting them.
2015: i don’t think i had any problems.
2014: Mom is going to deposit my refund check.
April 17, 2017
April 16, 2017
April 15, 2017
2016: no one right now.
2015: Stan Lee.
2014: first thought Tom Hiddleston followed by the louder voice of wanting Joss Whendon.
April 14, 2017
to have the motivation to do what i need to do.
April 13, 2017
go home early from work.
April 12, 2017
13 mins is just the right time to boil eggs for an hex.
2016: Colt has the skill to be a card reader, he just needs to look at the bigger picture.
2015: so more than ready to get the fuck out of here.
2014: did not learn anything today.
April 11, 2017
April 10, 2017
April 9, 2017
April 8, 2017
April 7, 2017
April 6, 2017
April 5, 2017
it’s spring time and it’s getting to me.
2016: i watched a 17 min video about montages via Rocky, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_mImQBUMaA.
2015: Avengers: Age of Ultron.
2014: i just have not felt inspired in a long time.
April 4, 2017
i had money for a new car.
April 3, 2017
it was a short day at work that let me get hoe before Mom so, kinda.
2016: no. i was at work and in shoes.
2015: no. the storms from last night made me on edge and with the news of yesterday, i feel lost on how to get ahead.
2014: yes. because it's Thor'sDay and i watched Thor. :-)