September 18, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1442

“A decision you made today ___.”

2016: i don’t think i made any worth writing down.
2015: i don’t know.
2014: not to do all the shoe freight.

September 17, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1441

“What’s your favorite snack food?”

2016: food.
2015: i don’t know.
2014: nachos.

September 16, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1440

“What would you want to study at school?”

2016: witchcraft.
2015: witchcraft.
2014: witchcraft.

September 15, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1439

“Who are the most important people in your life?”

in alphabetical order: Colt, Jessica, Matthew, Nicole, and Shelby.
special shout out to my white girl tribe of Emily and Ellie.
and an extra shout out to Jeff Esther and Mutt Hubert!
2016: i am blessed that i still have all the same peeps that i had from last year: Colt, Jacob, Matthew, Nicole, and Shelby.
shout out to Jessica and my girls Ellie and Emily. if i have to build a white girl tribe, it will be with Ellie and Emily.
2015: i’m putting peeps in alphabetical order: Colt, Jacob, Matthew, Nicole, and Shelby.
2014: Colt, Matthew, Nicole.

September 14, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1438

“Who can you help?”

i am trying to help myself, right now.
2016: i need help.
2015: better yet, who am i helping now?
2014: who wants my help? inches

September 13, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1437

“Write down a minor, but chronic, problem.”

again, if it’s chronic, how is it minor?
2016: again, if it’s chronic, how is it minor?
2015: yeah, how are chronic problems minor?
2014: if it’s chronic, then it’s not a minor problem.

September 12, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1436

“What are you chasing at this moment?”

getting my shit together.
2016: i’m trying to chase something.
2015: a dream.
2014: a dream.

my Inhuman weekend

i don’t know how to write this. i know that this is gonna get ugly at points because i want to talk about things that i should have mention when i saw Guardians Vol 2 and fucking Transformers.
so, here we go.

got down to Matthew’s on a Friday. i was somehow blessed (?) with 8 days off and knew i had time to work once i got back.
Friday was good. we ate at El Jimador and the food was good. found Hard Cola at the store, went back to the hotel.
Saturday started with a hitch. went back to Matthew’s and he found his cat dead. we delayed going to Springfield to take care of kitty.
and the we were off.
i don’t know where the snafuy happen first. it me and Colt getting into about the times for when the movie was. neither one of us would pick a time, the other was and it was just pissing me off.

NOTE: i had asked him about an itinerary so i knew what to pack for the trip and he’s all, let things flow and see what happens and my gods, YOU CAN’T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS COLT!!!

and with that, he wasn’t at his apartment when we first rolled in. this gave me time to apply way too much lip gloss to kiss him with.
and he tasted bad with whatever lotion he had on his face.
so, stayed there a bit, when to the hotel/movie theater and that’s when i started texting Colt. i’m better with the written word and it helps me with stating my facts.
so, we texted fight before the movie started. i don’t know if that improve things or now but it got one thing out of the way.
Inhumans yep, it was a pilot all right. it made me miss Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and live Tweeting with my nerds.
we ate at Chili’s and then Colt drove us all over (in plans to murder us?) because the place to get tested for STDs was free and he wanted to do that with me.
what the ever-loving fuck? is this what fag hags do now?
am i still a fag hag?
so confused.
Sunday! Matthew was sick (he woke up in the middle of the night and just left me at the hotel while he went out into the dark, Springfield night) and i called Colt to come get me.
left True Detective on my laptop for Matthew and away i went.
Colt took me to the mall like i was some kind of white girl.

Colt keeps at me that somehow i’m bitter and mean about things. maybe it’s my years in retail that makes me demand a higher standard then him when it come to life. i keep thinking i’m the same charming witch and he makes like i’m changing into something dark.

we talked. we talked about him and Jacob. he told me things [stuff that’s TMI (and that’s saying something with us)]. and that he’s been talking to him and he Snapchated me to send to Jacob and he is going to Florida in October.
i bit my tongue about things but i ended up texting him about my views on Monday when i was back home.
i’m bias about this, him and Jacob getting back together. in a way, Jacob broke my heart too. i can’t/haven’t forgiven him for that.

we all know that i did the magick i do so well and got them two together. and when it went down with the break-up, i had the notion that by Inhumans, Colt would have a new boyfriend, no, just a boyfriend.
so little did i know it would the one i “blessed” him with so many years ago.

tried to shopped, went to a crappy Halloween store and by then Matthew had arisen.
got him and went to the good Halloween store.
i brought me a set of horns. Colt and Matthew wouldn’t let me wear them.
did mini glow in the dark golf where we all failed.
ate weird pizza.
Colt dropped us off to the hotel.
Matthew called his mom and they think he has a UTI. went to the store to get med, he wanted ice cream, and he ran into an old classmate.
i took a bath and he runs again to Steak ‘n Shake. so yes, i had a burger and a beer while in the warm bath.
Monday, we met up with Colt at Ihop where after we were done eating he just ran out on us.
made it back to Matthew’s and then to my house.
that Wednesday and Thorsday i had the double duty of reading cards for Colt.
it was the relationship spread.
i did mine with my Flower Speak cards. ended up having to pull FOUR cards to see what was up with Colt.
Colt, is there a change with us, with our relationship? there’s the part of me that still deeply loves you and really want to kick your ass. is this just a change for the moment or something else?
do i need to a card reading…

September 11, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1435

“What advice would you give a second-grader?”

well, i’m friend with a 1st grader and right now i would tell her to start working on her own skills.
2016: what do you like/what is your passions? now go, work on that and be the best you can be.
2015: i stick by last year’s answer.
2014: don’t worry about what other people say. you are awesome as you are.

September 10, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1434

“This is utterly confounding ___.”

baby, you’re queer. learn it, love it, live it!
2016: i… don’t think i am confused by anything right now.
or rather, i am not spending time on things i can logic.
2015: i’m looking over last year’s answers and i’m not confused by it anymore.
this year’s confusion is based on my boyfriend.
2014: that i’m turned on by gay men, drag queens, and nude women.

September 9, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1433

“What comes to your mind when you think of fear?”

2016: wasted life.
2015: unrealized dreams.
2014: the dark and the unknown.

September 8, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1432

“Who are you jealous of?”

i don’t know.
2016: Colt and Jacob.
2015: all the pregnant women at the store.
2014: not saying.

many ideas, no worth

i still need to write about my weekend with my men. there’s things, layers, that need to be pealed and handle with kid gloves.
i go back to work after being gone for 8 days. no clue what is happening but we will see how things are.
cunts shouldn’t be there so i’m happy with that small thought.
work, like things to do, have been put on hold for now. i’m hoping with getting a schedule, that will get me going again.
things, ideas, i think i can make happen. i can start an Esty store and try to sell card readings. something that brings in some extra money.
and then there’s the idea of Patreon and making fun videos. i have characters and a setting but no plot. it’s like, damn. i don’t want to be a reviewer but i don’t want to copy other people’s work too much.

September 7, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1431

“What’s the newest thing you’re wearing today?”

2016: my Marvel pj’s i got in May.
2015: my necklace. i got in May.
2014: i got my shirt around May this year.

September 6, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1430

“What was the last online video clip you watched?”

the one that stuck something with me was Lindsay Ellis’s look at The Complex Feels of Guardians of the Galaxy v.2.
2016: i have found much comfort in watching Brows Held High.
2015: i don’t remember.

September 5, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1429

“Today you learned ___.”

something about Mutt and Jeff…
2016: two of the mangers in my departments are total cunts.
2015: my birthday is in less than a month.
2014: tomorrow is gonna be hell.

September 4, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1428

“Where do you see yourself in five years?”

no fucking clue.
2016: i don’t know.
2015: here, nothing will change.
2014: out, married, children.


i survived my weekend with Colt and Matthew.
it’s gonna take some time to sit down and sort out all the info i was given and how to proceeded with it.

September 3, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1427

“Where have you found evidence of a higher power?”

i just know, anymore.
2016: still trying to get my spark back.
2015: lately, nowhere. i know they are out there, the gods, i just haven’t felt them, or anything, lately.
2014: March of the Penguins. that’s were i first found it.

September 2, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1426

“Is your home/apartment clean?”

i don’t have a home.
2016: i don’t have a home.
2015: i don’t have a home or an apartment.
2014: no comment.

September 1, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1425

“Teacher or student?”

2016: still a top.
2015: based on my answer from last year, i have learned that i am a top.
2014: master or slave? top or bottom?

August 31, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1424

“What was the last wedding you attended?”

my brother’s.
2016: my brother’s.
2015: my brother’s.
2014: cousin’s from last year.

August 30, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1423

“What’s your simplest pleasure?”

i don’t know.
2016: no comment.
2015: i don’t know if i have any, anymore. it feel like they are all small and nothing really fills me.
2014: Cherry Dr. Pepper.

August 29, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1422

“What did you have for dinner?”

2016: food.
2015: food.
2014: food.

a bug's life

And on the Twenty-First Day, the MidDay Sun turned Black, with Totality, and the Night Creatures came to me and said:

“You are an aunt.”

Jeff Esther and Mutt Hubert were born.

I am now Aunt Amer!

August 28, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1421

How would you describe your victory dance?”

i don’t have one.
2016: i don’t have one.
2015: no, i don’t have one.
2014: i don’t think i have one.

August 27, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1420

“When was the last time you worked out?”

2016: 8/5/2016.
2015: 8/26/2015.
2014: June 25th, 2014.

August 26, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1419

“What’s the best part about your life right now?”

the twins.
2016: i’m still here.
2015: i’m crocheting.
2014: my friends: Matthew, Nicole, and Colt.

August 25, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1418

“What would you like to tell your father?”

are you still mad that i lived and the car didn’t?
2016: fuck off and die.
2015: i tell him this all the time, fuck off and die.
2014: fuck off and die.

August 24, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1417

“Write your recipe for creativity:”

it happens.
2016: it happens.
2015: yeah, there is none. it’s just random ideas coming to me. i sleep on it till it happens.
2014: there is no recipe. it’s just there.

August 23, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1416

“Yes or no: everyone should have a backup plan.”

the more the better.
2016: the more the better.
2015: very much everyone needs a backup plan, if not more then one.
2014: oh hell yes.

August 22, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1415

“What can’t you forget?”

i have a blog that dates back for over a decade.
there is nothing i can forget.
2016: so i don’t forget, i have this little black notebook i carry with me at work.
2015: i seem to have the problem of remembering, remembering that i am loved and that i need to take this love in and enjoy it.
2014: i’ve been blogging for over 13 years now. i don’t want to forget.

August 21, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1414

“In 140 characters or fewer, summarize your day.”

the sky went black at midday and i became an aunt.
2016: we are not on Twitter, i can write as much as i want.
2015: we are not on Twitter, i can write as much as i like.
2014: we are not on Twitter.

August 20, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1413

“Whose team are you on?”

i want to know who’s on my team.
2016: i don’t think i’m on anyone’s team.
i like to know who’s on my team.
2015: Team Jolt.
2014: Buffy.

August 19, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1412

“___ really bothered you today.”

this new way of having days off. now if you ask for 3, they give you a week.
2016: the way the other managers treated me and my manager.
2015: side note: looking back at last year’s answers, i’m sorta doing better with that.
my lack of wanting to do anything.
2014: if i could write it down, i could tell you.
if i could just sort it OUT!

August 18, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1411

“What’s your favorite piece of clothing?”

it changes per day and season.
2016: it still changes with the seasons and the years.
2015: it changes with the season and the years.
2014: don’t really have one, per say.

August 17, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1410

“If you had so spend five years in prison, what would you finally have the chance to do?”

crochet and get back to the gods.
and work out like a son of a bitch.
2016: crochet and get back to the gods.
and work out like a son of a bitch.
2015: crochet like a mad-woman.
2014: get really good at my religion.

a thing

so, i did a thing today.
i shot some videos of “teh kats” and made a 2 and ½ min movie of them. i edited, did fades and cut scenes and had music and then credits. it didn’t take me very long to do.
i posted for Colt to see and then from there, we will try for bigger.
i think i can do vlogging with Movie Maker. for the free thing it is, i am happy with it. start here and work my way up.
what i’m not happy is that i need a camera. i don’t know what kind but i’m not happy with the vid my phone took. i need something that’s better.

August 16, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1409

“What question (or questions) do you love to answer?”

ask me anything
2016: ask me anything
2015: i don’t know anymore.
2014: about me!

August 15, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1408

“What do you like about your body today?”

nothing is really sticking out as a good thing.
just PMS eating and trying to deal with the news of the week.
2016: it didn’t kill me when my period started.
2015: with all my walking, my calves are no longer flabby. i have to try to make them flabby.
they’re toned.
2014: it works. i may be big and fat but damn if i cannot get shit done because my body can do it.

blar, eh?

so, yeah.
it’s this time of year. look back in history, i had a crash in 2014, Furguson happen same year, and now, this.
and it’s odd being on Twitter because there’s the bots i follow, ignoring everything that’s going on, people i follow with their rants and news, and then there’s a handful of people tweeting out cat pics to brighten the day because, shit has beyond hit the fan.
today was a lump day. i couldn’t get going to do anything. i will try tomorrow but i don’t know.
positive things: ice cream date with Colt and Matthew next Sunday, Guardians come out, and there’s the thing with my niece and nephew being born too.
i need to work tomorrow.
and for the rest of the week.
inches man. they are great if done every day.

August 14, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1407

“Did you complete your to-do list for the day?”

2016: no.
2015: no.
2014: fuck you.

August 13, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1406

“What is your favorite thing to do on a Saturday morning?”

i don’t know.
2016: i don’t know anymore.
2015: work.
2014: freight, EPC, find all the stolen stuff in the blue jeans and underwear.

August 12, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1405

“What is your resolution for tomorrow?”

get to bed at a hopefully good time.
2016: just, get to 5 o’clock.
2015: get shit done.
2014: get shit done.

August 11, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1404

“How many stamps are in your passport?”

i don’t have a passport.
2016: i don’t have a passport.
2015: i don’t have a passport.
2014: don’t have one.

August 10, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1403

“What are you running from at this moment?”

2016: a better life.
2015: happiness with Colt and Jacob.
2014: my own reality.


i ripped out the pages of my bullet journal and turned the whole notebook into my ToDoList.
it started for just today (my day off) and then it went on about my next two days off and then it turned into for the rest of the month.
i have 97 things written down to do and did 13 today.
am i going to get all 97 done by the end of the month? no, probably not. some are long term goals that i want done by the end of the year. i set myself the goal of getting 60% of my goals done for the month.
and then kinda pad out the list with things i know i will be doing, like blogging and my laundry.
i have written in a notebook and put it on Evernote to boot. i hope this way keeps me on my toes and get shit done.
i think i moved 2 inches today and might move some more to get my bed cleared off before i sleep tonight.

August 9, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1402

“Write down your last sent text message.”

2016: *hug*
2015: “The hammer is my penis.”
2014: way too private for here.

August 8, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1401

“Do you make enough money?”

*uncontrollable laughter leading to tears and then heavy drinking*
2016: *uncontrollable laughter leading to tears and then heavy drinking*
2015: *uncontrollable laughter leading to tears and then heavy drinking*
2014: *uncontrollable laughter leading to tears and then heavy drinking*

i am many layers and i am of the one

i have been having some problems with my identity, of the late. i know i wrote about being more queer then demi but there was something else nagging at me.
it’s this whole “i’m not really butch but calling myself a lipstick butch seems fake” thoughts that keep going back and forth in my head.
and then last night it all became clear.
i am a collage educated woman and at the same time i can break out the Appalachian accent and be the redneck i was raised to be. i can drink Long Island Ice Teas at the gay bar all night or a single, strong martini at a retirement party and still be the same person.
i am many layers and i am of the one. why femininity can be that way too, from butch to lipstick, in a week, a day, an hour.
i don’t have to be the one thing to be all the things. i can be me and let others sort this out.

August 7, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1400

“What was your last great meal?”

i don’t recall.
2016: don’t remember.
2015: i really don’t recall.
2014: pizza from the pizza place.

August 6, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1399

“Who are you?”

German Roman Catholic cis school girl gone wrong/born again pagan, queer witch, reader, writer, heterosexual life partner/girlfriend, ordained minister, girlfriend, lover, hardcore crocheter, proud nerdgirl, sister-in-law, and aunty.
2016: German Roman Catholic school girl gone wrong/born again pagan, witch, reader, writer, heterosexual life partner, ordained minister, girlfriend, lover, hardcore crocheter, proud nerdgirl, and sister-in-law.
2015: amerwitch.
2014: you leave an inch of space to write down “who are you?” fuck this. i can’t write it down in just an inch. if anything, just read this whole fucking blog, this is who i am.
and here’s the kicker, i’m changing. so, you need to read this every day, and look to see what is being changed.

August 5, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1398

“Today you destroyed___”

2016: the Coinstar machine.
2015: time.
2014: my soul.

August 4, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1397

“When was the last time you were on an airplane?”

never flown.
2016: never have flown.
2015: never have flown.
2014: never have. never flown.

August 3, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1396

“What do you lie about?”

lots of things.
2016: lots of things.
2015: ha!
2014: everything.

August 2, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1395

“Describe the room you are in right now.”

see previous answers.
2016: moldy.
2015: worthless.
2014: mine.

"One, my real name is Amerwitch. Two, I'm not straight."

sometime last year i learned about the word asexual and demisexual. and the more i looked into it, the more i felt that, this is me, i am part of the asexuals, i am demisexual.
and if i wasn’t straight, then i could have sex with a woman.
and that thought open a whole new world to me.
but in the last few months, i’ve began to question all that, the whole demisexual label (along with a whole lot of other labels). and i keep thinking things over and over.
there’s two parts with identity your sexual orientation, what gender you are and what gender/s you are attractive to.
i’m a woman. there’s no other way i want to identify but as she/her woman. there’s some other issues going on (for another blog post) but i’m a woman, hear me roar.
and, who turns me on?
and that’s where things get, fuzzy.
identifying as demisexual means i am not sexual attractive to anyone until i get a deep and close bond to them. and i don’t think that’s me.
i’m not going start hopping in bed with anyone and throwing cares out the window. i’m still me, a bit uptight about sex but when it’s just me and my boyfriend, passion.
so, if i’m not demi, what am i? well, who am i attractive to?
i’ve always had a “thing” for men in makeup/drag queens. there’s something about them that makes them so pretty. i also ten to be drawn to butch women.
the final kick in the pants for me was finding and inhaling about all of the videos that ContraPoints have on their YouTube channel. i saw beauty and grace and that body in them dresses with that voice, and she can play piano and sing and she can play the harmonica, and her style of videos, and then she dressed more masculine and she’s genderqueer…
and with her saying she’s genderqueer, i had to stop and think about me for a minute.
see, when i came to terms about being demi, i also came to terms that i am a butch, cis woman.
this past summer, i thought it would be fun to be more “girly” and when it came to my three days weekends with my boyfriend, i wore maxi skirts the whole time (kinda proud i have that many in my wardrobe). i even went as far as to try to buy girl flip flops (i have size mens 11 feet) and ended up sewing some flair on mens flipflops to make then girly.
and what i took from that is, i fuck with people when i present as more traditional feminine. i’m still butch, i just like to do it in skirts too.
but watching Arielle Scarcella videos, i have learned that there’s lvls to being butch. and maybe i’m more of a lipstick butch then anything.
ok, if i’m not a demi butch cis woman, and i’m still ok with being called a lipstick butch cis woman, what am i?
bisexual? no, not really.
pansexual? maybe?
queer? and this is my own issue be.
i like the idea of calling myself queer. it goes along with the idea of me liking men in makeup and butch women. but, there’s a bit of “no” in my mind about calling myself that.
to the outside world, i’m straight. i have a boyfriend and the fact is, i’ve only had sex with cis men. i feel like “you are straight, you have no right to use that term”.
queer, to me, is this umbrella term that all the weirdos can come and sit and be. and this would be my place.
but, to the outside world i look straight.
and i forgotten the polyamorous plot point to this mess.
so, what am i? how do i identify so the outside world can understand me?
well, i don’t care about the outside world understanding me. really, have i in the past 20 odd years?
let them see a straight woman.
hi. my name is Amerwitch. i am a queer, cis, lipstick butch woman.

August 1, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1394

“Do you need a cold shower?”

not really.
2016: no.
2015: no. not tonight.
2014: i have been enjoying them.


this month, this bloody month.
i don’t have words. all i know is that i need to write.
and no, this will not be an update.
i know i do not put out the original content that i should. i don’t blog, i don’t post wit on Twitter, i really don’t use Tumblr, and i just found out i’ve had a WordPress from 2009.
and now i have this stirring to make vlogs. i’ve been watching too much of Thomas Sanders and now of ContraPoints. and with those (and seeing some of the weird stuff out there that CountraPoints showed in their videos), why not me? i have some ideas and things that could work.
just need to find video editing software. that, i am clueless about.
other things are clicking, more on that later.
things, are good. not the best but somewhat better.
i can do this.

July 31, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1393

“Today you were a wallflower or a social butterfly?”

fuck off.
2016: i was at work. you fucking tell me what the hell i am.
2015: kept my head down and got work done.
2014: i fucking hate people.

July 30, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1392

“Today was unusual because___.”

nothing odd happen.
2016: i open on a Saturday.
2015: first day of Jessica’s vacation.
2014: i have not blog in forever.

July 29, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1391

“What was the last road trip you took?”

Matthew’s bday trip to CoMo.
2016: trip to CoMo with Matthew for Star Trek fun.
2015: #Avengerpalzooa.
2014: mini trip to Rolla to see the bf.

July 28, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1390

“Write a phase to describe your year so far.”

2016: gotta get moving.
2015: loved by many.
2014: hopeful for next year.

July 27, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1389

“What can you smell right now?”

the world.
2016: the world.
2015: the world.
2014: the world.

July 26, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1388

“Are you working hard or hardly working?”

2016: both, at the same time.
2015: both, at the same time.
2014: both.

July 25, 2017

5 yr blog,day 1387

"If you could hire any artist (living or dead) to paint your portrait, who would you pick?"

Dalí or Warhol.
2016: Dalí or Warhol.
2015: Dalí or Warhol.
2014: Dalí or Warhol.

July 24, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1386

“What’s in your fridge?”

i don’t own one.
2016: i don’t own one.
2015: i really don’t own a fridge.
2014: food.

July 23, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1385

“What was the last thing you baked or cooked?”

erp, i don’t recall.
2016: don’t recall.
2015: made myself a breakfast burrito the other day.
2014: tacos.

July 22, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1384

“Where do you go for good ideas?”

i want to say it’s been my path. it’s seems to come back and i’m learning things and wanting to do things.
2016: Colt. he’s been the inspiration for the last few years’ worth of writing.
2015: Nicole.
2014: myself. if not me, then Nicole.

July 21, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1383

“Who was the last person to make you angry?”

cunts at work.
2016: work.
2015: myself.
2014: the bf pisses me off mostly.

July 20, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1382

“Does anything hurt today?”

2016: my back.
2015: i don’t think so.
2014: my back.

a blog post by amerwitch

so, how was my Spider-Man weekend?
Matthew came up on Sunday night and we had a nice time. did some running around in Jeff on Monday (and really, with no stores and no freaking book store, the capital of the fucking state don’t have a book store, what’s the point of Jeff anymore?) and then home for a small feast.
and then came Tuesday.
Columbia is our city. the only draw back of the weekend was the fuck up about the hotel, Taco Bell not being at the mall anymore, not finding the earrings i wanted, and it being so fucking hot with no air in the car.
Red Lobster was ok? i felt so white at the place. and i did find something to eat, on the diet menu. this pissed me off.
Wednesday we saw Spider-Man: Homecoming and it was joy.
they did the whole “show a superhero in his underwear” and you got to see Tom Holland’s baby abs.
he still looks like he’s 13.
i like Spider-Man now. can’t wait to see if Sony fucks this all up or if Marvel will just take him and run away.
saw the grandparents, caught some pokys, did go to the new witchcraft shop in town. it was ok.
i’m still going to need to the health food store for herbs.
we did go to Chili’s and our waiter was rocking knots on his head, just like me.
and we went all out to sing the birthday song to Matthew. i had to leave him a hella tip after that.
we went to one pizza place and, never again. Matthew orders us a pizza and then the waitress looks at me, like i’m just want a salad or something.
at lest the air in the hotel room was cool.
overall, it was a good weekend. just so fucking hot.

July 19, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1381

“What do you need to throw away?”

lots of things.
2016: a lot of crap.
2015: a lot of things.
2014: lots of things.

July 18, 2017

5 yr blog , day 1380

“What are the ingredients for a perfect day?”

not going to work.
2016: not going to work.
2015: pizza.
2014: friends.

July 17, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1379

“How can you help?”

i want to work on me for a change, and not be helping others.
2016: i ask that question a lot at work. i really don’t care about those people.
i do care about MY people. and often i ask “what do you want me to do?”
2015: ask who i have helped. they all have tags on this blog.
2014: with what? i’m okay with some vague questions and even the stupid ones are cute but this bullshit, it’s gotta stop.

July 16, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1378

“Are you wearing socks?”

2016: no.
2015: no.
2014: no.

July 15, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1377

“What is your heroic downfall? Your Achilles’ heel?”

i want to fix the broken but i can’t seem to fix the broken that is in me.
2016: i want to fix the broken but i can’t seem to fix the broken that is in me.
2015: i want to fix the broken but i can’t seem to fix the broken that is in me.
2014: i want to fix the broken.

July 14, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1376

“Do you have a secret? More than one?”

ha ha ha!
2016: if you only knew.
2015: secrets so bad that i can’t even write them here.
2014: like i’m telling you.

July 13, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1375

“What are you sentimental about?”

i’m trying to get rid of stuff so right now, it’s all kinds iffy.
2016: things that my friends have given me.
2015: my high school band shirts. i can’t get rid of them, can’t cut them and make a quilt out of them. they just sit there, waiting.
2014: i’ve kept a blog for over 13 years. what am i not sentimental about?

July 12, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1374

“___ is perfect.”

Tom Hiddleston as Loki.
2016: Tom Hiddleston as Loki.
2015: Tom Hiddleston as Loki.
2014: Tom Hiddleston as Loki.

July 11, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1373

“If you were a literary character, who would you be?”

Miss Piggy did play all the witches from Oz…
2016: still going with the Wicked Witch.
2015: still would be the Wicked Witch. her and Miss Piggy were the biggest influences on me.
2014: Wicked Witch of the West!

July 10, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1372

“When was the last time you spoke to your parents?”

2016: today.
2015: today.
2014: today.

July 9, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1371

“Today was delightful because ___.”

Matthew is here.
2016: new cell phone, tablet, and watch.
2015: there was nothing delightful about today. it marked day 3 of being in shoes. it was hell.
2014: there was nothing delightful about today.

July 8, 2017

before the storm

want to write but have nothing to say.
it’s the quite before 5 fun filled days of Matthew. it’s his birthday and we are going north and seeing Spider-Man. i keep hearing good things.
fun fact: i had a Batman Birthday Bash for Matthew when The Dark Knight Rises came out and he made me go see The Amazing Spider-Man. i was like “what part of Batman Birthday Bash had fucking Spider-Man in it?”
well, 5 years later and everything is Marvel! i will miss you Batman. maybe one day DC will get it right again and i’ll see you again.

5 yr blog, day 1370

“What do you have to lose?”

nothing, really.
2016: everything.
2015: everything.
2014: everything.

July 7, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1369

“What’s the next book you want to read?”

i’m looking over tarot books and witchcraft books right now. i don’t know which one is next but it will be something like that.
2016: 1984?
2015: i have no idea.
2014: i have no idea.

July 6, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1368

“Who is your best friend?”

2016: Nicole, hands down.
2015: still gonna say Nicole. she’s been here the longest.
2014: Nicole.

July 5, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1367

“What is your motto?”

“That’s my secret Cap. I’m always angry.”
2016: yup, still going with “That’s my secret Cap. I’m always angry.”
2015: still gonna go with last year’s quote.
2014: “That’s my secret Cap. I’m always angry.”

July 4, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1366

“___ is funny.”

2016: life.
2015: still think i’m funny.

June Update Part II: Transformers Weekend from Hell

ok, some backstory. the original plan was for me and Mathew to go to STL and see Nicole and do Pride. i was very much looking forward to going to my first Pride (and really, i haven’t seen a parade in ages and that’s what i really wanted to do).
it didn’t happen. Nicole and Matthew are at a stand still in life about things that has barred Matthew from visiting Nicole.
so, i had the weekend off, $500 saved up and some txting and what not, this is the weekend i got.

i set up the weekend with minor issues. i even gave Colt a way out to the whole things. he never said no and with a txt saying he brought the tickets, away we go.
off i go on a Saturday, south to first get Matthew. he was packed and ready to go. throw everything in the car and off we go.
Matthew burned a CD of movie scores. i had to guess who the composer was.
made it to the hotel. Matthew and me unpack and i start getting dressed, as i was going to dress as a vampire to see Transformers.
and while putting on my makeup, Colt ask if i was wearing a bra because my nipples were out and about.
yes, i was wearing a bra, a real bra, and how amazing are my boobs are if the gay guy takes note?
we eat at Chilies and Colt talks about his IBS.
and somewhere we went to Bass Pro Shop.
we leave and see the movie.
the movie, in 3D IMAX was such a shit storm of stupid.
and instead of yelling and screaming at the movie, i sighed and shoot my hands in anger.
which was too much for colt to deal with and my tone at Chiles and now i’m just this mean bitch (hello, where have you been Colt?) and i need to lighten up and find joy and dear gods have i changed that much to him?
my thoughts on the movie is it is a pile of crap.
and to understand why, here is Lindsay Ellis’s Youtube series on Transformers.
did i mention Colt has a new car that has 3 doors and is orange?
and i asked him, if i had to bring shoes because i’m trying this whole dressing girly thing with flipflops (mens ones with trim i sewed on to make them girly) he said no.
i walked 4 miles in flip flops on Sunday.
Colt picked up us and away we went on Sunday. IHOP for breakfast (grr on many lvls) and then Barns and Noble and then Wal-Mart because reasons, and then i swear back to Colt’s so he could charge his phone.
i passed out while Colt played Fallout and gods know what Matthew did.
i swear it was the fact i had both of my men and the act of trying to make sure they both were happy and not trying to kill each other and me being sick and other things drove me to a nap.
and then we were off to the park to walk the 4 said miles and for me to catch freaking pokys to lvl up by September to raid with Colt but look, they lower the cap so now really i am playing the poky game because Colt plays it and well, i want to be a good girlfriend.


and then we ended up at some local Italian place for dinner and then Colt drop us off.
i didn’t get to hug him.
i didn’t give him a card reading.
the rat bastard never has open his tarot cards. that hurts Colt.
Monday me and Matthew hit the witch store that don’t sell herbs. Matthew found a book from his childhood and i got some charcoal and lilac oil.
and drop Matthew off and i head home.
and then i worked 6 days in a row over this first of the month/“holiday” weekend bullshit.