September 30, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1090

“How do you get out of a rut?”


i’m living in one right now and see no way out.
2015: by an inch.
an inch moving forward.
2014: still trying to sort that out.



September 29, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1089

“Bad news: sugarcoated or straight-up?”


straight-up. never sugarcoat that.
2015: straight-up. never sugarcoat that.
2014: straight-up. never sugarcoat that.


September 28, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1088

“How hungry are you right now?”

not at all.
2015: not at all.
2014: not at all.


September 27, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1087

“Do you handle rejection well?”



i don’t know.
2015: i still don’t handle acceptance well.
2014: i don’t handle acceptance well.


September 26, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1086

“Today was amusing because___.”




nothing was amusing.
2015: Ellie wanted to hang with me and not her mom.
2014: i worked 9 to 5 and everyone burst into Dolly Parton when i told them that.


September 25, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1085

“Do you plan, or are you flying by the seat of your pants?”


no clue anymore.
2015: both?
2014: both.


September 24, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1084

“When was the last time you went dancing?”

my brother’s wedding, 11/8/2014.
2015: my brother’s wedding, 11/8/2014.
2014: i don’t remember.


my dearest DarkShark






my dearest DarkShark,
when you told me you quit Twitter, it felt like i lost my whole audience, and my voice. it felt like i had no one to write for anymore.
so, i’m trying to sit and write and might as well make it a letter to you.
this summer has felt like a waste. i didn’t walk like i did last year, i didn’t work on moving out. i kept putting everything off. off until i’m dead, i guess.
my new goal is Oktober. i hoping by thing it will be fall.
and maybe it’s that i have SAD, due to sunshine, summer, heat, and humidity. this summer it was a fight not to get heat rash under my boobs.
so, here’s to me thinking Oktober will be the cure for things.
i still need to get colors and yarn and get to work on you and Jacob’s Yule gifts. i’m trying with the more grown up theme but it’s still Marvel, and i’m crocheting them.
i just feel weird about doing this as a joint gift.
i am trying to work on this new story idea. one day you’ll get a random email from me and it will be the first scene.
i wanted to write more but… i gave up on thought. it seems i have them until they need to be put on paper. and then they fail.
love you, my DarkShark.
cannot wait to see you again.
your witch,
amer

September 23, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1083

“Write down a quote for today.”


well the Quote of the Day from Penguin Ministry is from T. Thorn Coyle: “Creativity is a natural function.”
2015: well the Quote of the Day from Penguin Ministry is from Lord Byron: “I only go out to get me a fresh appetite for being alone.”
2014: “Happy Marvel Mabon! Blessed be, motherfuckers.”


September 22, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1082

“What shocking news have you recently learned?”

cunt was at work today.
2015: another coworker is pregnant.
2014: nacho bar at my brother’s wedding.


September 21, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1081

“Where do you think your road is going?”


i really have no idea.
2015: soon, south, to a Field of Spring.
2014: nowhere fast.


September 20, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1080

“What’s your favorite television show?”




*looks at last year. sigh*
all time, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
right now, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D..
2015: all time, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
right now, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D..
hope to add The Muppets to this list next year.
2014: all time, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
right now, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D..







September 19, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1079

“What’s a new place you’ve recently been to?”




nowhere. i don’t feel a need to go out there.
2015: nowhere. i really haven’t branch out in a while.
2014: fetlife.com


September 18, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1078

“A decision you made today ___.”


i don’t think i made any worth writing down.
2015: i don’t know.
2014: not to do all the shoe freight.


September 17, 2016

5 yr blog,day 1077

“What’s your favorite snack food?”

food.
2015: i don’t know.
2014: nachos.


September 16, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1076

“What would you want to study at school?”


witchcraft.
2015: witchcraft.
2014: witchcraft.


blahness


written at 2 AM this morning.

so, here i am, 2 in the morning, typing on my Bluetooth keyboard to my tablet. oh what a time to live in.
i know this will get posted in daylight, and this blahness will pass over and what not, etc.
watching Project Runway has hit a spot in me that i want to create. i looked up my old Crayola fashion designer toy set. the modern one is all about "upload to out app and see a real person wearing it!!!" and i guess that's all cool, but not for me.
maybe it’s also the fact that Shelby is up in school learning how to get in Project Runway. and i want to draw people with clothes.
i want to paint.
i need to clean my room.






September 15, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1075

“Who are the most important people in your life?”


i am blessed that i still have all the same peeps that i had from last year: Colt, Jacob, Matthew, Nicole, and Shelby.
shout out to Jessica and my girls Ellie and Emily. if i have to build a white girl tribe, it will be with Ellie and Emily.
2015: i’m putting peeps in alphabetical order: Colt, Jacob, Matthew, Nicole, and Shelby.
2014: Colt, Matthew, Nicole.



write

(it’s way past my bedtime.)
i want to write my new idea of a story. i keep trying to start with the start but i think i need to just write and start putting it together.
i don’t know if i’m the hero of this story because i still have Colt in it. i actually put him in there twice.
i think it will be a good story and i need to just throw shit down and send it to Colt for him to look over.
i need to start writing, i really don’t care what. i tried writing poems and it just falls flat. i looked up different forms and still, no spark.



September 14, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1074

“Who can you help?”



i need help.
2015: better yet, who am i helping now?
2014: who wants my help?


blog



August seems to be the month i can’t get shit together. 2 years ago i blamed it on a mental break down and i’m not using that excuse this year.
i think it’s just it’s the end of summer and not the beginning of fall and the heat got to me.
it’s still not fall yet but i feel it coming. gods i hope it’s coming soon.
when it rained last week, i had 5 leaks in my room. i brought more drop clothes to keep down on ruining everything.
i hope with fall coming, that i start working on my room. i’m done with Skyrim (until i get the DL stuff). if it cools off, i can work.
i have been crocheting something for Shelby. i think it’s almost done. after that, i need to work on Jessica’s thing.
and then the boy’s gift.
also working with Nicole to get time off for her birthday.
i know this is a crappy post. i need to get back to a grove, of writing, working, being a better human.
hell, i failed/failing at Instagram.
i need such a kick in the ass.

September 13, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1073

“Write down a minor, but chronic, problem.”


again, if it’s chronic, how is it minor?
2015: yeah, how are chronic problems minor?
2014: if it’s chronic, then it’s not a minor problem.


September 12, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1072

“What are you chasing at this moment?”

i’m trying to chase something.
2015: a dream.
2014: a dream.


September 11, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1071

“What advice would you give a second-grader?”


what do you like/what is your passions? now go, work on that and be the best you can be.
2015: i stick by last year’s answer.
2014: don’t worry about what other people say. you are awesome as you are.


September 10, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1070

“This is utterly confounding ___.”


i… don’t think i am confused by anything right now.
or rather, i am not spending time on things i can logic.
2015: i’m looking over last year’s answers and i’m not confused by it anymore.
this year’s confusion is based on my boyfriend.
2014: that i’m turned on by gay men, drag queens, and nude women.




September 9, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1069

“What comes to your mind when you think of fear?”


wasted life.
2015: unrealized dreams.
2014: the dark and the unknown.


September 8, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1068

“Who are you jealous of?”


Colt and Jacob.
2015: all the pregnant women at the store.
2014: not saying.


September 7, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1067

“What’s the news thing you’re wearing today?”


my Marvel pj’s in May.
2015: my neckless. i got in May.
2014: i got my shirt around May this year.


September 6, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1066

“What was the last online video clip you watched?”





i have found much comfort in watching Brows Held High.
2015: i don’t remember.

September 5, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1065

“Today you learned ___.”


two of the mangers in my departments are total cunts.
2015: my birthday is in less than a month.
2014: tomorrow is gonna be hell.


September 4, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1064

“Where do you see yourself in five years?”


i don’t know.
2015: here, nothing will change.
2014: out, married, children.


September 3, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1063

“Where have you found evidence of a higher power?”


still trying to get my spark back.
2015: lately, nowhere. i know they are out there, the gods, i just haven’t felt them, or anything, lately.
2014: March of the Penguins. that’s were i first found it.


September 2, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1062

“Is your home/apartment clean?”


i don’t have a home.
2015: i don’t have a home or an apartment.
2014: no comment.


September 1, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1061

“Teacher or student?”


still a top.
2015: based on my answer from last year, i have learned that i am a top.
2014: master or slave? top or bottom?