August 31, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1060

“What was the last wedding you attended?”


my brother’s.
2015: my brother’s.
2014: cousin’s from last year.


August 30, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1059

“What’s your simplest pleasure?”


no comment.
2015: i don’t know if i have any, anymore. it feel like they are all small and nothing really fills me.
2014: Cherry Dr. Pepper.


August 29, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1058

“What did you have for dinner?”

food.
2015: food.
2014: food.


August 28, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1057

“How would you describe your victory dance?”


i don’t have one.
2015: no, i don’t have one.
2014: i don’t think i have one.


August 27, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1056

“When was the last time you worked out?”


8/5/2016.
2015: 8/26/2015.
2014: June 25th, 2014.

August 26, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1055

“What’s the best part about your life right now?”


i’m still here.
2015: i’m crocheting.
2014: my friends: Matthew, Nicole, and Colt.


August 25, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1054

“What would you like to tell your father?”


fuck off and die.
2015: i tell him this all the time, fuck off and die.
2014: fuck off and die.


August 24, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1053

“Write your recipe for creativity:”


it happens.
2015: yeah, there is none. it’s just random ideas coming to me. i sleep on it till it happens.
2014: there is no recipe. it’s just there.


August 23, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1052

“Yes or no: everyone should have a backup plan.”


the more the better.
2015: very much everyone needs a backup plan, if not more then one.
2014: oh hell yes.


August 22, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1051

“What can’t you forget?”


so i don’t forget, i have this little black notebook i carry with me at work.
2015: i seem to have the problem of remembering, remembering that i am loved and that i need to take this love in and enjoy it.
2014: i’ve been blogging for over 13 years now. i don’t want to forget.


August 21, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1050

“In 140 characters or fewer, summarize your day.”


we are not on Twitter, i can write as much as i want.
2015: we are not on Twitter, i can write as much as i like.
2014: we are not on Twitter.


August 20, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1049

“Whose team are you on?”


i don’t think i’m on anyone’s team.
i like to know who’s on my team.
2015: Team Jolt.
2014: Buffy.



August 19, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1048

“___ really bothered you today.”


the way the other managers treated me and my manager.
2015: side note: looking back at last year’s answers, i’m sorta doing better with that.
my lack of wanting to do anything.
2014: if i could write it down, i could tell you.
if i could just sort it OUT!




August 18, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1047

“What’s your favorite piece of clothing?”


it still changes with the seasons and the years.
2015: it changes with the season and the years.
2014: don’t really have one, per say.


August 17, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1046

“If you had so spend five years in prison, what would you finally have the chance to do?”


crochet and get back to the gods.
and work out like a son of a bitch.
2015: crochet like a mad-woman.
2014: get really good at my religion.



August 16, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1045

“What question (or questions) do you love to answer?”


ask me anything.
2015: i don’t know anymore.
2014: about me!


August 15, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1044

“What do you like about your body today?”


it didn’t kill me when my period started.
2015: with all my walking, my calves are no longer flabby. i have to try to make them flabby.
they’re toned.
2014: it works. i may be big and fat but damn if i cannot get shit done because my body can do it.



August 14, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1043

“Did you complete your to-do list for the day?”

no.
2015: no.
2014: fuck you.


August 13, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1042

“What is your favorite thing to do on a Saturday morning?”


i don’t know anymore.
2015: work.
2014: freight, EPC, find all the stolen stuff in the blue jeans and underwear.


August 12, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1041

“What is your resolution for tomorrow?”


just, get to 5 o’clock.
2015: get shit done.
2014: get shit done.


August 11, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1040

“How many stamps are in your passport?”


i don’t have a passport.
2015: i don’t have a passport.
2014: don’t have one.


August 10, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1039

“What are you running from at this moment?”


a better life.
2015: happiness with Colt and Jacob.
2014: my own reality.


pushed



today, today was the day i was going to get stuff done and i didn’t. i’ll wait till next week.
and that’s my game, always next week it’ll get done and it never does. there is this thing in me where i cannot get over and out and just do.
and this afternoon it was a fight to stay awake. i wanted to nap but no, i fought it, did nothing, and feel worthless for the effort.
i need to walk. that’s not happening.
i was so motivated to do stuff last year i don’t know where it all went. i can, i can do it all but i just end up not.
i need to find my spark, that kick to do. i need something to push me.
i need someone to push me.
i need to be pushed.

August 9, 2016

only words



i keep recalling August 2014, it was the 1st time ever i never wrote in all the long years of be journaling.
i can recall my feelings, the movie, the song, all the things just that made me stop. it made me stop thinking because real questions and events happen to me that i was not ready for.
and it hits me hard with the news that was txted to me.
when i is think of strong, it’s not so much as the physical you can take, but the mental you can take in without breaking down. i’m seeing now how well some can hide it.
with seeing what was hidden, it lifts some of the confusion but i’m still left feeling lost and confused about things.
i want to make things better, in others. i can offer my words and prayers but there is only so much a txt can be.
and being 2.5 hours away, i feel like i’m failing as the best friend.
i do what i can, the words, the txts. it feels empty but there’s not much more i can right now.
i love you DarkShark.

5 yr blog, day 1038

“Write down your last sent text message.”

*hug*
2015:  “The hammer is my penis.”
2014:  way too private for here.


August 8, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1037

“Do you make enough money?”


*uncontrollable laughter leading to tears and then heavy drinking*
2015: *uncontrollable laughter leading to tears and then heavy drinking*
2014: *uncontrollable laughter leading to tears and then heavy drinking*


August 7, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1036

“What was your last great meal?”


don’t remember.
2015: i really don’t recall.
2014: pizza from the pizza place.


August 6, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1035

“Who are you?”


German Roman Catholic school girl gone wrong/born again pagan, witch, reader, writer, heterosexual life partner, ordained minister, girlfriend, lover, hardcore crocheter, proud nerdgirl, and sister-in-law.
2015: amerwitch.
2014: you leave an inch of space to write down “who are you?” fuck this. i can’t write it down in just an inch. if anything, just read this whole fucking blog, this is who i am.
and here’s the kicker, i’m changing. so, you need to read this every day, and look to see what is being changed.



August 5, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1034

“Today you destroyed___”


the Coinstar machine.
2015: time.
2014: my soul.


August 4, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1033

“When was the last time you were on an airplane?”


never have flown.
2015: never have flown.
2014: never have. never flown.


August 3, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1032

“What do you lie about?”

lots of things.
2015: ha!
2014: everything.


July recap




so much happen in July!
Matthew turned 30 (i’m dating a 30-year-old, gods). his birthday was fun. we met up for Star Trek birthday weekend.
i had on my outfit and he had on this nice ST shirt that was black and had the insignia on it. i changed to my black capris and a red tank top.
i’m @amerwitch on Twitter if don’t get that joke.
the movie WAS SO MUCH BETTER THEN INTO DARKNESS!!! that 2nd one pissed me off so freaking much. Beyond was so much better and more Star Treky and it was so sad when they talked about Leonard Nimoy Spock and then you see little Anton Yelchin, *weeps*.
they set up for the 4th with bringing in Chris Hemsworth back. we’ll see what happens.
went to Red Lobster and there is just nothing there for me to eat. if they all you can eat shrimp, i would have won.
Matthew did buy me my first Long Island Ice Tea, a top self one! i took one sip and thought “this is it?” i downed half of it and never got so much as buzzed going on.
along with that, i had a play date with Ellie! i swam around in her pool, me and Jessica tried to sort out if it’s economical to kill her husband, and damn if Emily is another being! dear gods that child!
she tried to eat me. i think this was after she had Dirt Cake too.

August 2, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1031

“Describe the room you are in right now.”


moldy.
2015: worthless.
2014: mine.


August 1, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1030

“Do you need a cold shower?”

no.
2015: no. not tonight.
2014: i have been enjoying them.