May 31, 2015

5 yr blog, day 603

“How much cash do you have in your wallet? In your bank account?”

none of your damn business.
2014: not saying a word.

May 30, 2015

5 yr blog, day 602

“What’s the best thing you read today?”

Kissing the Limitless by T. Thorn Coyle.
2014: i don’t think i did read today.

May 29, 2015

5 yr blog, day 601

“If you didn’t have any responsibilities for the day, what would you do?”

again, not a damn thing.
2014: not a damn thing.

May 28, 2015

5 yr blog, day 600

"East Coast or West Coast? In between?"

still don’t know what you are talking about.
2014: no clue what you're talking about.


me and Colt had a spat before #Avergerpalzooa. it boiled down to me and Jacob.
looking back, i know why i was fighting. Jacob wanted to meet me. wanted. this was a human who wanted me.
it boils down to the fact that another guy wanted in my life, in a positive way. monogamy is great and if that’s your path, good for you. finding this past year that polyamorous is my path, me with Mathew in one hand and Colt in the other hand.
and now Jacob in Colt’s other hand.
i had so much fun Tuesday (Colt’s birthday), then last year when i was with him. i spent the day harassing him on social media and setting up evil plans with Jacob.
and i basked in all of it.
love is a drug. the right person can make you feel high on cocaine.
that feeling, plus some shots i had earlier, and i was wrapped in it; the love that Jacob and Colt have, the love i have for Colt, just the red light of good feelings.
and i was fight it, before #Avergerpalzooa. i was fighting the fact a guy wanted to meet me, like me, etc., into my life.
i have a small circle of friends and the ones i let in my inner court, they are mine and i protect what is mine. a line i’ve been saying of late is “i take care of my men.”
and i do.
metamour, a word i learned just hours before meeting Jacob. it’s what he’s listed as in my contacts.
polyamorous is the only word i know that names what “this” is, the harem of men i have inadvertently collected.
i take care of my men.
and they take care of me.
and i am letting that be real and live in that world.
i am loved. i am loved by many.

“I’m just learning how to smile
That’s not easy to do.”

May 27, 2015

5 yr blog, say 599

"What gives you comfort right now?"

the love i have from my guys.
2014: the fact i sat on the floor crocheting, Matthew on my left, Colt on my right, watching a Joss Whedon movie.

May 26, 2015

5 yr blog, day 598

“List the things that nagged you today.”

nothing, really.
i celebrated today; a Tuesday, a birthday.
2014: my men.

25 years ago

dear 16 yr old self,
i want you to know about today.
it was a Tuesday, Dawn’s in trouble and there’s no Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. to save her.
it was a good day, the weather was bright and sunny and it poured down rain and it was cool.
you will look cute, like you will become.
now, the year before, on this date, it was rough. it was the start of alot of soul searching, things we thought we knew would change on us.
but it’s ok, we are still amerwitch, if anything, a better amer.
now, 25 years ago, can you recall that? 1990, 3rd grade over, Mom pregnant with Michael, summer before us.
we didn’t know how big a day this would be for us. this would be the start of a new path for us, and we had no clue.
now, in the 2015, you will put on two necklaces. one is your pentacle, the other is your shark.
not a shark, a Kennedy half dollar with a shark cut out of it. the other part is round the neck of a boy.
born on this day, 25 years ago.
and, we won’t be there in the flesh for his big day. we will spend it tweeting and Facebooking him to death.
because that’s how we roll.
so, in our dark, dank room, with Facebook, Twitter, and “old fashion” txt messages, we will reveal in delight of kisses we can’t be there for and evil plans best left to star crossed lovers.
you won’t get this now, but i’m gonna added it anyway.
so, my 16 year old self, life will get you to strange places, with the internet connecting us.
you know how i know?

May 25, 2015

5 yr blog, day 597

“If you could travel anywhere tomorrow, where would you go?”

2014: i’m going there, Springfield Mo.

May 23, 2015

May 22, 2015

5 yr blog, day 594

“When was the last time you had an inspiring conversation?”

with Nicole, over Facebook, on the Sunday.
2014: last weekend with Nicole.

May 21, 2015

5 yr blog, day 593

“What’s your salary?”

none of your damn business.
2014: none of your damn business.

what’s a girl to do?

once upon a time there was a girl with no friends. her only solace was two websites: Open Diary and Angelfire. there she poured her soul for no one and everyone to read.
she would look at other diaries and chastised them. the other diaries would use code names or initial instead of real names. she used real names.
and for 14 years she still does. and now she has friends that read her blog.
but, she thinks, where can she tell her secrets? where can she dive deep and bare all without her friends reading.
she just can’t write and not published. stop after all these years? are you crazy?
what’s a girl to do?

May 20, 2015

5 yr blog, day 592

“What’s the craziest thing you’ve done for love?”

2014:  really, what has been the craziest thing? giving him all my money? trying to kiss him while he was asleep?
no, real love is what i got now. and it’s every day that is crazy.

May 19, 2015

5 yr blog, day 591

“What’s the most creative thing you’ve done recently?”

2014: crocheting.


days been odd.
i volunteered for 6 days in the row and thankfully i get 2 days off in a row. today was day one.
no Agents of S.H.E.I.L.D. tonight so no live tweeting. sad face.
didn’t do anything today but that might change once it gets dark. who knows.
did wake up earlyish (before 7 and that’s when me taking sleeping pills and not setting my alarm, what the hell!) to a nice dream. it was me and Colt and Jacob and it was me and Colt snuggling in bed together. it’s one of my loftier goals in life and i get the weird feeling a 3-way would happen before that.
and hey, first time Jacob showed up! the boy is getting up there!
i did write a letter to Colt and Nicole. it started off as a blog post but turned… dark? it might make it to the blog, one day. who knows.
i need to clean a bit to find some yarn to start on some projects; mostly for Nicole, Matthew, and Shelby.
i don’t even remember the last time i made something for myself.  :-/

May 18, 2015

5 yr blog, day 590

"If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be?"

this was a big theme last year, if i can recall correctly.
and, yes there are points where it would be nice to go back and “fix” things so i would be “living better”.
but, would i have had #Avergerpalzooa then?
2014: more on this latter.

May 17, 2015

May 16, 2015

5 yr blog, day 588

"What was your favorite day this week?"

well, Tuesday was the season finale of Agents of S.H.E.L.D. so i’m going with that. :-)
2014: Sunday was fun but Tuesday had the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. finale.

May 14, 2015

5 yr blog, day 586

"What makes a good enemy?"

yeah, your best friend.
2015: sometimes, your best friend.

May 13, 2015

5 yr blog, day 585

"Who loves you today?"

Colt, Matthew, and Nicole.
2015: Colt, Matthew, and Nicole.

do you know how i know?

sorry to cop out and instead of emailing or txting to the person, i’m just going to post it here.
i read a blog post that reminded me of another blog post. the story feels the same but the characters change.
and really, i should have this feeling of relief. the relief that i don’t have to worry over him so much, that he has someone watching over him, there. there is a physical body to hug him and wipe his tears away.
and my selfish ass just thinks i’m being replaced. it happen to me before, where friends chose boyfriends over me.
but i know that’s not going to happen. we have such a sick and twisted relationship, on so many lvls. if there is such a thing as soulmates, we are it.
do you know how i know?

May 12, 2015

5 yr blog, day 584

"What are you exploring?"

being an adult.
2014: starting a new life soon.


editor’s note: i cannot take credit for #Avengerpalzooa. Robert Downey Jr tweeted first. as many times i checked that hashtag, it’s seems only him, me, and Colt were the only ones using it. 

also, i was told that by some fans that they read my blog every night like a bedtime story. inspired by this fact, i have written #Avengerpalzooa in such a style. enjoy!

once upon a time there was a little girl. she just wanted two things out of life, to be a witch and to get a boyfriend.
the witch part was easy. 20 odd years after she made her goals, she become a witch. the boyfriend part was a bit tricky but 5 years after becoming a witch, she got her boyfriend.
and what a boyfriend. ;-)
but her magicks grew and so did her heart and lo and behold she found another boy.
and the witch was happy with her two boyfriends.
life lead her on wild ride. and it came to past that she was to travel to the Field of Springs, to hear the great words of her prophet, Joss Whedon, telling the tales of the gods, Avengers.
the Witch gathered her finerys (which included a skirt made by a talented Kitsune) and traveled south. it was too far to make to the Field of Springs in one day. she took haven by St. Robert by the Village of Wayne, home of her boyfriend Scruggys. with him, they traveled to see the preacher Robert (not the saint) in his new church in the Fort in the Woods.
while Scruggys went off to seek more knowledge, the Witch hunker down. she was blessed with seeing the first telling of the gods Avengers.
and when Scruggys return, they celebrated Beltain most vigorously.
when dawn came, the Witch and Scruggys packed up their belongings and headed to the Field of Springs. the Witch was quite happy with the resting place they were blessed with. it was right next to where they would hear the words of the prophet Joss about the Age of Ultron. 
they dined and feasted, for you see, it also marked the five years the Witch and Scruggys came together. five, long, difficult years but they made it!
many had gather to hear the words. they waited in line and made their way to find seats. the Witch was confused by the showing of tale of “false gods” and wonder why the hell people clapped, CLAPPED, when the tale of the War of Stars played.
and then, it was the new age, the Age of Ultron.
and it was glorious.
and in her excitement the Witch called upon her DarkShark. and with all her excitement, she told him good bye. there was things to do that night.
Scruggys conjure up pizza and passed out. the Witch went to work.
by the clock rang two in the morning, she was still not down with the gift for the DarkShark. and she was almost out thread. she cried and then went to sleep.
she awoke a few hours later, and in the daylight she finished the Man of Iron made of yarn.
the Witch dragged Scruggys across the Field of Spring to the new grotto of her DarkShark.
he was different, darker and lighter at the same time. he had found a friend, a lad who wore small t-shirts, size 15 shoes, and had others gifted features.
his name is Florida.
the Witch had known of Florida and was leery of anyone getting close to her DarkShark.
but gifts were given. the DarkShark blessed her with Marvel candy.
Florida blessed her with a Marvel poster.
the Witch blessed her DarkShark with many things of Man of Iron: Doritos, kite, Hulkbuster.
and items of him: a book of sharks and a sign of his sharkness.
and, the dolls of so many tears, handmade with her soul in it, Iron Man.
there was one gift the DarkShark gave her. around his neck he wore his sign, the shark. it was familiar to her, the outline, many times she had seen that shape before.
the gift, to her, was her own necklace. it was perfect and round, and missing one part. that part was around his neck.
much was fun was had. the DarkShark took them everywhere, starting with the Mart of Wal and then more for shoes.
there was feasting, and a strong drink that proved the Witch was stronger.
back to the grotto for some magick. the Witch worked well on the DarkShark and Florida. cards were drawn.
and then onto hikes and walks in the parks.
love was in the air.
the DarkShark sang her the song of his people, Cher.
then, it was time. they waited, slowly and long.
and the lights went dark and the prophet spoke again.
they journey back to the grotto.
she left her DarkShark with Florida.
she rested with Scruggys. in the morning they made way to a place of knowledge, met up with the DarkShark and Florida, and feasted again.
and in the parking lot, the Witch threated both of them not to hurt each other and to be safe.
and she saw that red truck drive away.
she made her way back to the Village of Wayne and then to her Shack in the Woods.
there, she dreamed, schemed, wrote and prayed.

May 11, 2015

5 yr blog, day 583

"How do you want to be remembered?"

that i was loved and feared by many and often the same people.
2014: as the most awesome person many have ever known.

May 10, 2015

5 yr blog, day 582

"How did you start your day?"

same as last year.
2014: alive.

May 8, 2015

5 yr blog, day 580

“Who do you think is cute?”

Matthew, Colt, and Jacob has his charms.
2014: Matthew and Colt.

May 7, 2015

5 yr blog, day 579

“Who would play you in a movie about your life? Is it a good movie?”

i really don’t know who would play me. i’ve yet had an actress, or an actor, suggest to me who i like.
and hell yeah it would be a good movie!
2014: gods know anything.

May 5, 2015

5 yr blog, day 577

“Today was hilarious because ___.”

i went back to work it was ok.
2014: Jessica is going away and i’m going to be in “charge”.

May 4, 2015

5 yr blog, day 576

“When was the last time you went swimming?”

last year for Matthew’s birthday.
2014: gods if i can i recall.

May 3, 2015

5 yr blog, day 575

“If you could have a superpowers just for today, what would it be?”

after watching Avengers: Age of Ultron i really want to be able to fly.
2014: speed.

May 2, 2015

May 1, 2015

5 yr blog, day 573

“Messy or neat?”

*more insane laughter*
2014: *insane laughter*