February 28, 2015

5 yr blog, day 511

“When was the last time you were sick?”

still haven’t been sick that i had to call off work. 2 years of sick free!
2014: i really don’t remember.

February 27, 2015

5 yr blog, day 510

“Are you the original or the remix? Why?”

i stand by what i said last year.
2014: motherfuckers, i am the original. no questions and no answers to your “Why?”.

darkness my old friend

don’t where to go with this. let’s see if i cam make sense.
this past week i was on the work schedule of 3 AM to noon for 5 days. i go to bed about 5 PM, wake up a bit after midnight, and pretending life is normal.
i brought sleeping pills to help me.
yesterday i stayed up till about 10 PM. i was awake for 22 hours.
the last time i had an odd work schedule (10 PM to 7 AM, and that only 4 days) and i was not making it. it did something to me. the only thing that brought me back was Colt. on the last day, i got home at 8 AM, and i think i slept some and then we went and saw The Wolverine. it was when he was driving home, i closed my eyes and the wind was blowing around my hair and i felt alive. that was the last time i felt alive.
but this week had no Colt at the end of it. there was just the death of a nerd legend.
Leonard Nimoy died today. i’m not a Trekie, just dating one. it still hurts because i’m a nerd. i follow nerds on Twitter. Twitter is sad now. i’ve been crying some off and on.
i wanted to write about other stuff, but that will wait.

February 26, 2015

5 yr blog, day 509

“Name one item you can’t throw away.”

friends: Nicole, Matthew, Colt, Shelby.
2014:  everything.

February 25, 2015

5 yr blog, day 508

“What’s the last dream you remember?”

i vaguely recall a dream with Robert Downey Jr in Avengers 2.
2014: i have no clue where this dream came from but this is what i remember (and really, it’s more like a hazy memory of this dream then of a dream): it was Will Wheaton and Jerry O'Connell talking about being in the movie Stand by Me. i can understand Will Wheaton being in my dreams but all this, i have no fucking clue.

February 24, 2015

February 23, 2015

5 yr blog, day 506

“What’s the most embarrassing purchase on a recent credit card statement?”

there is none.
2014: there is none.

February 22, 2015

5 yr blog, day 505

“What was your prevailing emotion of the day?”

i don’t know if i can make it with this new work schedule of 3 AM to noon without Colt here.
2014: i was a cunt to my friend, for no damn reason then my own stupidity.

February 21, 2015

February 20, 2015

5 yr blog, day 503

“What word did you overuse today?”

i cussed a lot today. mostly saying “son of a cracker!”
2014: i don’t think i overused a word today.

February 19, 2015

5 yr blog, day 502

“Who is the craziest person in your life?”

still my Krazy. it’s his nickname, he will be always be my one crazy friend.
it’s his doom.
2014: Krazy. 

February 18, 2015

5 yr blog, day 501

“What’s the most expensive thing you’re wearing now?”

my skin?
2014: my pj’s.


i make plans and life gets in the way.
VD Day weekend was nice. the small setback was the hotel me and Matthew stayed out got new TVs that you couldn’t plug the Blu-Ray player to. that sucked. other than that, the restaurant, the night, the morning, it was all good.
it was so good that I GOT SKYRIM back on my laptop! oh happy days!
and what’s weird, as much as i’m a lover when i played WoW, more magick than anything else, in Skyrim, i’m a fighter. i dual wield and just want blood, much, much blood. save the game, kill everyone in town, or until i get killed, then open the saved game right before my murderous rampage.
i think this will help with dealing with people at work, coworkers and customers.
and then Tuesday hit me. my period started. i think, going to the bathroom where there is no heat kicked everything up a notch to me leaving work early (i threw up gum while on the floor, GUM!). i learned that i can throw up and drive at the same time and that, even after throwing up everything in your stomach, you don’t dry heave you throw up bile.
i slept with socks on, that’s how sick i was.
and i’m almost feeling human today. almost.

February 17, 2015

5 yr blog, day 500

“If you could changes something about today, what would it be?”

not go to work.
2014: not go to work.

February 16, 2015

5 yr blog, day 499

“What was the last performance or concert you went to?”

July 30, 2010 to see Charlie Daniels.
2014: July 30, 2010 to see Charlie Daniels.

February 15, 2015

5 yr blog, day 498

“Write down the cure for a broken heart.”

i don’t think there is one. time, maybe.
2014: vodka.

February 14, 2015

5 yr blog, day 497

“Did you kiss someone today?”

yes, Matthew.
2014: yes, Matthew.

February 13, 2015

5 yr blog, day 496

“What’s your favorite question to ask people?”

i still don’t want to talk to people. or ask them questions.
2014: i rather not talk to people.

February 12, 2015

5 yr blog, day 495

“What is your biggest obstacle right now?”

still myself.
2014: myself.

February 11, 2015

5 yr blog, day 494

“How did you get to work today?”



new plans:
  • 2/16 is start of using Lose It app hardcore. i got it working, paid for the extra bells and whistles, time to go balls wild with it.
  • also, start working out. i have my plans for walking, ab lounger, and a stripper 10 min workout video.
  • new plan for my room, short burst of 30 min cleans. better than nothing, not as great as an hour.
this is me being a new resolution for every month. this seems to be the only way i can get the things done.
the only stop in this will be the week of “overnights”. still kinda scared of that but i know i am strong and can do it. i have my peeps, (hi Shelby) to keep me alive.
now that i think of it, Shelby is my closest friend. she lives one county over. everyone else is far away.

February 10, 2015

5 yr blog, day 493

“If this day was an animal, which animal would it be?”

2014: at times, a headless chicken.


this is a shout out to Shelby so i can use her tag and in her vain attempts to get higher up on the tag list. her goal is to get higher then Matthew and Colt.
hi Shelby.
i had written something earlier, about how much i am changing and then i reverted back to a nothing state. i realized this and now must go the step to get my ass back in gear.
my tax refund is, really nice. i have plans on divide it 3 ways to take care of things and hopefully move forward.
really, i am at a point where i will be changing so much, i will not be the same person next year.
i cannot be this person next year.
what i am leery of is my week of “overnights”. it’s not overnights, it’s 3 AM till noon. i think i can make it, i don’t know if the rest of my family can deal with it.
and part of me is scared of this week because i don’t have a DarkShark to buzz me at the end of the week.
at the end of THIS week, i will be in a hotel room with Matthew. i’m hoping with the high speed internet that i can “fix” my laptop. if not, i’m taking it to the shop.
i got to start crocheting.
in other news, Spider-Man is now sorta in the MCU now. will have to see what more news comes out before i make my mind up.

February 9, 2015

5 yr blog, day 492

“How late did you sleep?”

work up a min before my alarm.
2014: i woke up early to go grocery shopping with Mom.

February 7, 2015

5 yr blog, day 490

“What are three things you have to buy?”

i got food today.

2014: for tomorrow:
  1. gas
  2. lunch
and really what all i have planned to buy tomorrow.

February 6, 2015

5 yr bog, day 489

“Are you seeking contentment or excitement?”

i’m seeking the powers to overcome what is in my way of becoming a better person.
2014: i want to feel alive.

February 5, 2015

5 yr blog, day 488

“What are you obsessively listening to?”

just all the music on my itouch. nothing is really grabbing at me, at the moment.
2014: Macklemore.

February 4, 2015

February 3, 2015

5 yr blog, day 486

“On a scale of one to ten, how sad are you? Why?”

i’m going with 5. not really happy, not really sad.
just middle.

2014: 5, Colt didn’t get his job.
4, if i really think about all the Krazyness.
(i should say the lower the number, the sadder i am.)

February 2, 2015

February 1, 2015

5 yr blog, day 484

“What is your resolution for tomorrow?”

get shit done at work.
2014: relax and enjoy.