April 30, 2014

5 yr blog, day 207

“What are three words to describe your social life?”

full, nerd, complicated.

April 29, 2014

5 yr blog, day 206

“Who can you make happier? How?”

not going there.

baby's on fire, again

i looked up how much the Velvet Goldmine soundtrack was on iTunes. it was only $6. sold!
it just don’t have one song on it, “Gimmie Danger Little Stanger.” it’s an Iggy Pop tune so i will have to into finding it on iTunes.
i am making Mathew watch that movie. it has Christin Bale in it.
and i want to make Colt watch it. don’t know when that will happen.
i am coming to a stop with Colt’s birthday gift. one leg came out good, the other one will not come out the same size. grr.
and i really need to man up and finished his Yule. all i see is how i fucked it up. i know he will love it and only see it as perfect. i just can’t sit and work on it.
and i need to get my ass in gear on that freaking afghan. i only have till August.
and this Crimson Peak with Tom Hiddleston and Jim Beaver is looking better and better the more i learn about it.
and it’s directed by Guillermo del Toro. yeah!
Agents of S.H.E.I.L.D. is on tonight! it keeps getting better and more Joss Whedon with every show. still no news if it will be renewed. i don’t see it not being renewed but stupider things have happen.

April 28, 2014

5 yr blog, day 205

“Who would you trade places with for just one day?”

Joss Whedon, just to know about Avengers 2!

April 27, 2014

5 yr blog, day 204

“What ‘type’ of person are you?”

fuck if i know. can i be jammed into one little box and boom, that’s me?

April 26, 2014

5 yr blog, day 203

“How much spare change do you have?”

too much and not enough.

April 25, 2014

5 yr blog, day 202

“Who do you need to call?”


more blar

i did something crazy yesterday and volunteered not to go to work. it would have been bonus hours so i’m not really out anything.
looking over my taxes and i made $146 less in 2013 than in 2012. and that’s with me getting a 40¢ raise.
i really don’t want to do the math on how bad my hours were cut.
i’ve been crocheting and i feel more human. i need to sit and finish Colt’s Yule gift.
and Nicole’s…
and work on my afghan project, that’s due in August.
*heavy sigh*
so much i want to get down and all i do is waste time, all the time, every day.
i wonder why i can’t do SOMETHING to improve my life.

April 24, 2014

April 23, 2014

5 yr blog, day 200

“How would you your parents describe you? (You can call them and ask.)”

Mom calls me her devil child. and that i’m rough.

April 22, 2014

5 yr blog, day 199

“You wish you could stop ___ from happening.”



wanted to write a post and it turn out the everyday dribble of life.
gag me.
trying to set up days for Colt’s birthday/Lynny’s wedding. it’s all going down at the same time! go me!
really need to get my shit together and crochet. i’m so behind it’s not funny.
i’ve been watching Velvet Goldmine sorta none stop right now. i think i’m going to buy the soundtrack.
it’s something about that movie that makes it seem that sex was more real than it is now.
or maybe i’m losing my mind.
i really want to make Colt watch that movie. he might like it.
Matthew will be watching it the next time he comes up. it has Christen Bale in it. he needs to watch it.
the only thing about our anniversary i’m not looking forward is seeing Spiderman. have not heard many good things about it, i’m not a fan of his, and it’s not MCU. boo that.
good side: pizza and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. will be a good way to start the weekend.
and i’m getting my hair done.

April 21, 2014

5 yr blog, day 198

“What do you want to say when someone ask ‘What do you do?’”

your mother.

April 20, 2014

5 yr blog, day 197

“How many times did you curse today?”
fuck if i know.

sing once again

and is good news for all:
they made the announcement late the other night and OMGs! i’m so excited!
tickets go on sale in June.
and then it hit me: i’ll see Phantom in March and Avengers in May.
2015 is gonna rock!

nerd update

i vow that i will never let my blog get so far behind that it dies on me.
in a turn of events, i worked 6 days in a row to come home to a boyfriend. Mathew came up to watch Caption America: The Winter Solder since Colt moved 2.5 hours away.
i did some prepping by watching all the MCU movies, in order. it had been a while since i watch some (like YEARS) and it was fun way to gear up for the new chapter.
it’s a Tuesday, noonish; there should be no one in the movie theater, right? RIGHT?!?
school bus of high school kids show up. why the hell were they not in school?
Matthew saves the day by switching our tickets and we see the next show.
so the movie. it’s a bit retcon (and i’m not a big fan of retcon) and with watching Agents of S.H.E.I.L.D., i got so many feels.
hail Hydra?
and this “omg! the Winter Solider is the new Loki!” shit i keep seeing?
he is good looking. he gots that “he’s a bad boy but i can save him vibe) oozing.
hell of a good fighter. that was sexy.
but what the hell? Bucky really didn’t do much talking and there was no quick whips and MOTHERFUCKERS, DO YOU REALLY WANT TO FUCK WITH LOKI LIKE THAT?
and in good news, the pizza place is back!!! i don’t think i wrote about some time ago the pizza place just closed. well, someone brought it, and all the trimmings and it’s back.
and it taste just as great.

April 19, 2014

5 yr blog, day 196

“What famous person would you like to bring back from the dead to have dinner with?”

eep. i don’t know who i would pick…

April 18, 2014

5 yr blog, day 195

“Write down a problem you solved today.”

Mom is going to deposit my refund check.

April 17, 2014

5 yr blog, day 194

"What do you think is your biggest shortcoming?"

my room.


"And behold, there shall come a time
when a shark of darkness meets a
bitter witch.
And the world will never be the same."

maybe it was not so glorious said as that, but it was foretold that me and Colt were going to get along.
in the last six months, anytime i spent quality time with Colt, i would go back the last 4, 5 years and wonder how my life ended up, sleeping on the floor of a kid 10 years my jr, apartment and having such a weird relationship.
this happens about once a week.
in the middle of this, there was a day, i wanted 24 hours of not seeing him, talking to him, txting, just no Colt.
he showed up at McDonalds on my lunch break to show me the story he wrote about me.
how deep i was in.
there was a semester when Colt would work a half day on Thor'sDay (before we had trucks on those nights). i remember laying all his shit out, everything that was wrong with him.
his eyes widen and he wanted to know how i knew him so well.
"coz i was just like you ten years ago."
maybe we are too much alike or different sides of same coin.
things went on, he telling me when he lost his virginity (and then the betrayal i felt when he lied to me about it. i listen to Johnny Cash's "Hurt" a lot that week), clocking him a new hookup once a paycheck, my endless nicknaming his "friends", sleepovers, dates, gifts given so from the heart there's blood on them.
"You and I remember Budapest very differently."
and it all came down to a Saturday: 3/29/2014.
in the weeks before that night, Colt got a new job at Brass Pro Shop in Springfield, found an apartment, and got a transfer to the Branson Walmart.
that Saturday night was our last night in the DarkShark's Grotto.
Colt worked late so I got his key and made my way there. everything was gone, packed up except for the TV, laptop combo to play Frozen.

side note: i didn't care for Frozen. it's a bullshit to call it animation when it's all computer. plus half for Disney trying to get away from the old trope but eh. it really irked me that the only "cure" for Elsa's powers was to repress them instead of learning to CONTROL THEM! and while watching, me and Colt were being cute by making Game of Throne references. then i realized he was actually making Skyrim references. we didn't realized it halfway that movie.

he wrote me a letter and i read it and cried. 
i showered, put on my pjs, sans undergarments, tried to take a nap (that or i just laid on the floor with my eyes closed while Thor played on my itouch).
he came home, shower, pjs, with undergarments. he opened his gifts, the fake ones of pens, highlighters, Sharpies, and salt and pepper. then the real gifts: a shark tank top, LEGO Marvel Super Heroes and a Castiel doll.
he kissed me. motherfucker kissed me on the ear. we have a deep and intimate relationship, where we don’t touch each other and he fucking kisses me.
he’s number 7. 8 if we count girls.
ok, so we watch the movie, and pizza rolls, and i’m doing shots of vodka that ends up with me having being drunk with an emotional breakdown, panic attack, metaphysics panic attack, and just lost my shit, all at once.
if he only threw salt on me.
daylight came. we hugged in the parking lot and we drove away.  the last i saw of him was his red truck in my side mirror.
i got home and Mom wanted to go to the store. i couldn’t. i couldn’t. i stayed home.
i started this thing where i write letters to my 16 yr old self.
tonight, i would tell her to enjoy her single life. that shit gets weird when you have to deal with two men in your life, both that love you and you love them.
and that you really need to learn Excel so you can make a spreadsheet to keep track of their shirt sizes.

April 16, 2014

5 yr blog, day 193

“What’s a political issue that interests you?”

all of them.

April 15, 2014

5 yr blog, day 192

“Which celebrity would you want to interview?”

first thought Tom Hiddleston followed by the louder voice of wanting Joss Whedon.

April 14, 2014

5 yr blog, day 191

“If you could acquire a talent (without any extra effort), what would it be?”

to fly.

April 13, 2014

5 yr blog, day 190

“What is your favorite thing to do on a Sunday morning?”

how ironic it is Sunday today.
i like sleeping in a hair.

April 12, 2014

5 yr blog, day 189

“Write down a new fact you learn today.”

did not learn anything today.

April 11, 2014

5 yr blog, day 188

“What sound effect are you most like today?”

eastern European swearing.

April 10, 2014

April 9, 2014

April 8, 2014

5 yr bog, day 185

“What is your secret passion?”

i'm dead on the inside.

April 7, 2014

5 yr blog, day 184

“What colors are you wearing?”

i'm nude at the moment.

April 6, 2014

5 yr blog, day 183

“What was the last take out meal you ordered?”

out in the sticks, there is none takeout.

April 5, 2014

5 yr blog, day 182

“________was inspiring.”

i just have not felt inspired in a long time.

April 4, 2014

5 yr blog, day 181

“If you could wish for one thing to happen today, what would it be?”

Colt not having to move away.

April 3, 2014

April 2, 2014