February 27, 2013

and it gets dark, again

so, it snowed. again.
that’s pretty much all that’s been going on. snow. whoot.
i’m pulling teeth to get an entry now.
my hours have been cut so much at work, i’m not coming out ahead. and then it seems that because i value my mental health and will only work 7AM-10PM, as i was told that is when my department is open, that little Christen bitch is getting more hours than me.
and really, you wear a skirt and no pants because of your religion. that’s great, and i mean that. but, you are build a house together with your boyfriend, and no mention of getting married or getting engage, you little hypocritical bitch! fuck you and all your sunshine!
i am not fiends with her. i’m friendly to her, but we are not friends.
put that in your pipe and smoke it Colt.
speaking of Krazy, i having a Spike quote contest to see if anyone can guess what my favorite quote. another stab at feeling special and loved.
so now that i’m bitter and depressed, i’ll put on clothes and do my chores and go to my soul sucking job.

February 25, 2013


so i’ve been gone for a while. lest see if i can recap what all has happen.
my VD day started the night before. i was having a shitty day and then i got to work and turn the corner to see a vase full of lilies. i didn’t even have to ask who they were for, i knew Matthew had sent them.
the card read “From the Green One”.
so then it was VD day. we meet up in Rolla at our hotel room. we watch some Downton Abbey.
we made our way to Colton’s and was greeted with only a half hour wait, the shortest wait we ever had on VD night.
now, let me state some facts before i go one:
  • Matthew doesn’t wear jeans. when he’s out and about, it’s in khakis and some dressy shirt.
  • i tend to dress up a bit with a denim skirt, my witches shoes, knee stockings, and a smashing shirt. for this night, i even happen to about some new sparkles with new earrings and bracelets. and i wore one of scarves Great-Aunt Renelda made.
  • Rolla is a bit of a mix of hick and nerd, being where it is and the collage there.
so, there were many to shown up and bitched about the waiting. dudes, it’s VD and it’s dinner time and Rolla has like 2 “nice” places to eat at. 30 FUCKING MINUTES IS A SHORT WAIT!!!
also, it’s VD, would it hurt you at least put on clean clothes? you know how it is when you get sick and you live in your pj’s for a few days? bet they are cleaner than what i saw.
also, maybe jeans and a t-shirt ain’t dressing up but it would be a lot dressier then what i saw. dirty is one thing, looking like a slob is another.
we got in, and the food was good.
the martini was another story.
Matthew has gotten in the habit of buying me a Stoli martini. well, they didn’t have Stoli on tap that night/they stop carrying it. the waiter started listing all their vodka and i asked for the most expensive and ended up with a Grey Goose martini.
when i make martinis, it’s 3 parts dry vermouth and one part vodka, shaken, not stirred.
now, i can feel vodka go down and flow into my stomach. Stoli martinis i felt go down and flow through my arms and pricked my magicks.
Grey Goose fucked me up.
i took and sip and nothing. i mention it felt week and the waiter told me it was mostly vodka but this was like water down crap. a few more sips and i’m so not impress with this at all. so i chugged the rest of it.
now, i think all the vodka had sink to the bottom of the glass (which makes me wonder if it was shaken, if not, grr to them!) and this vodka is slow working kind. you don’t feel it until it’s too late.
i told Matthew, never again.
we go to Wal-Mart to get snacky-snacks for later and back to the hotel.
we spend all night watching Dowton Abbey.
Friday we went to Wal-Mart to get my oil change and Matthew’s new Nook. a swing by the comic book store (it’s remodel and looks hella good now) and we head to Waynesville.
so with Friday brought us Matthew getting a new TV, seeing Lynny get a powered blue minivan, and all three of us watching Beautiful Creatures (which didn’t do much for me as a movie). and me and Matthew eating at this off brand/local “Australian” place, eating alligator.
alligator tastes ok.
Saturday i did Matthew’s homework and i came home.
and then, me and my whole family, all 5 of us, went to the bar. that was kinda weird.

February 21, 2013

Pagan Blog Prompts

“In keeping with the Pagan Blog Project [http://paganblogproject.com], this week's prompt starts with D - Divination.

In the past, we've talked about our personal divination choices, but today, I think we should talk a bit more about what divination actually IS, what it means to us personally, and how we can best use it in our daily lives.

However, if you'd rather just share some information about your chosen form of divination, that's fine too.”

what is divination? i believe it’s taping into the higher power, to read what is out there and what path you are on, right now! i think we can change the future if we know where we are.
i use tarot cards. i’ve been reading them for the past 10 years, off and on and a bit more hardcore in the past 8ish years.
i haven’t read cards for myself in a long time, 3 years maybe? i have been reading them for a friend for past 2 years.

February 14, 2013

Pagan Blog Prompts

“If you could recommend just one book to a newcomer, what would it be?

Alright, we all know that's not very fair. So you can share up to 3 books that you feel all people looking to explore Paganism should read.”

i’ve been thinking about this for a while. trying to think what one book is a good book within the pagan community and cover any path.
my recommendation is The Inner Temple of Witchcraft by Christopher Penczak. i really love how this is more of the science of religion.
and get the CD’s. worth the money.

February 7, 2013

Pagan Blog Prompts

“I realize this was more appropriate for last week, but I kind of had tunnel vision when I was writing it...
So, now that this holiday has passed, care to share how you celebrated? What does Candlemas or Imbolc mean to you?”

Imbolc was kinda a downer due to being the anniversary of my Grandma’s death.

February 6, 2013

reflections from my side

this could have been an entry of self-loving tripe and gloating but i’m better than that.
i think.
reading my txt, tweets, and Facebook this morning, i was asked for help. deep help.
like i said before, i’m looking at a mirror of my 20 something self only, i was more together. no, that’s not fair. my 20 something self did not have all the issues and drama as what i’m seeing in the mirror.
tonight will suck, as i work till 10 and then have to be back at 7. but all is not lost dear friends. Friday i have off.
Friday night i want to do a hardcore cleanse of myself, including shaving. then, i will work my magick. not the way i really want to work, but it will be magick and it will be for a friend that needs help.

February 4, 2013


i had this strange thing happen to me yesterday.
i looked and saw myself as i was 10 years ago, only male and gay.
it wasn’t pretty.
i wanted to go back in time and just beat some sense into me. i can’t. i lived that life to get here.
maybe i can help, stop this cycle. it’s not i to decided it, but i can help, i want to help. i’m not some sad and sappy depressed 20ish.
i’m a semi depressed 30ish. and a witch.
here we go.

February 1, 2013

i need to bleed

this week has been rough do to my period starting soon and making me feel like shit for the past week. i’ve just been cross.
my one highlight was Colt getting drunk and drunk tweeting and then moved on to drunk txting me. a cat walking across his keyboard would make more sense.
i actually did work on my room. i had to, due to me being able to collect about 6 inches of water in buckets from my roof leaking, ruining 4 Buffy comic books.
onto better new, there will be pagan pizza for dinner tonight.
and, with money i don’t have, i order Age of Mythology to play. i miss the game.
and it won’t count as magick work, but it would be nice to do something pagany.