days where i can’t write and days where i need to write every day.
and it’s just the need to sit and put words on paper. there is no need to tell a story or to make a memory permanent. it’s just the act of words on paper.
and it was about pen to paper and now it’s more about typing away on my laptop.
i’ve started writing my daily tarot readings and my handwriting and spelling, epp. i don’t think my head can keep up with my brain and i write words mushed together in ways that is not right for humans.
i can’t type, i can’t spell, handwriting is bad, my nails need to be cut to keep using the laptop and my phone, but yet the need for words on paper overrides all that.
need to hurt and rip flesh and want to hug and love him.
i need to go to bed.
something shifted in me last week and i don’t know what it really was.
i’m on a mission. every day, a minimum of 20 minutes of cleaning my living space. i started on the far end, trying to make it to the front.
i’ve hit the bathroom. i want to Unfuck Your Habit clean it on Wednesday. right now, it’s just picking up the random shit in there. i want to reorganized it and throw out all the shit i’m not using any more.
along with all that, i’ve really been hitting the studying. after having some decks for months and not doing anything with them, i’ve read up on my Supernatural tarot deck and trying to go down the path of Lenormand. the Lenormand might be trickier then i thought but, i need to start throwing cards if i’m gonna learn to use them.
cleaning and cartomancy, that is what takes up my time nowadays. it’s fall, it’s October, it’s 2 fucking weeks till Halloween. mom turned the heat on for the 1st time today and, i just feel it now.
it’s the Season of the Witch.
started a blog last night, never got to finished it. it will get deleted.
long story short, i don’t post everything on my blog.
so, if you’ve been keeping tabs on me by reading my blog, you don’t know everything.
Timehop reminded me of the time of a person, a coworker, posted about their 3-way and got pissed when i told a mutual friend of ours about their 3-way.
see children, if you post it on the internet, i see it as a free grab to talk about, be it a funny TikTok, a clever Twitter, or a thought post on Tumblr. you can’t get pissed about it, you posted.
i need to sit down and write a real post about how things are going. this was just to get some things off my chest.
i don’t know where to start with all of this.
i’m 41 now.
i got my nose pierced. it hurt like a bitch but i’m so happy.
i will never do cocaine because me shooting the cleaning spray up my nose twice a day is already being a horrible problem.
i got to see Nicole! she loved the Bowie painting i did. it was not like how i image but i’m so happy with how i turned out.
he would like it.
i brought too many decks this weekend. i’m so behind.
this month, less Age of Mythology and more witchcraft!
saw Venom: Let There Be Carnage. fun fact: when the 1st one came out, my boyfriend was surprised i didn’t want to see it and wanted to see the “girly” movie of A Star is Born.
the movie was a trip and now i need to see Spider-Man, right now!
and need to watch the 3 Toby Maguire’s movies too…
other thing happened. more on that later.
and that was about my birthday weekend.
i made it, almost. i bounced 2ish hours early from my 8 days in a row. just not that hardcore anymore.
overtime will kick in sometime on Friday and that will be nice on the paycheck after my birthday.
i did a kinda spell on that lastish full moon and something clicked in me. with so many parts of my life seem to be falling apart, one part picking up and being better is overall better than the constants falling/failing that i was doing.
so, there’s that.
like i said, i survived that fucking 8 days and really have not done a fucking thing today. do i feel bad? kinda. do i need to fucking rest? on my gods, yes. so, did bits to get me by.
that ToDoList i made for September kinda got thrown to the crapper, which i am disappointed by that. i don’t know if Oktober is gonna be better or not.
there could be a reformed list of things to do for the month. i need to clean the place to be able to get to that done.
cleaning…
i should do some of that tonight…
