so much blar

i am still alive.

my mental health has been in the crappier the last few weeks. i want to put the blame on lack of me taking my vitamins and PMS.

but i still feel this fuzz over me. i don’t know where to pin the problems on because i don’t feel like it’s an internal problem. it feels like an external problem that has burrowed its way into my soul.

can i blame everything on work? it’s an easy out and i think it’s true.

i am working on that front. “And I fortunately know a little magic.” it’s something small but it’s a step.

i have drive to make a list of things for my day off and then just not want to do anything. again, i can blame work on sucking so hard on my soul that my one day off is not enough to recover and continue on.

and then i tell myself my NEXT day off, and it don’t happen.

i need to get the thoughts out of my head more often. i need to start tweeting them out. i don’t have my one release anymore (since he walked out on me…) so, lots of thoughts in my head stay there and that’s not good for me, now.