where have i been?

where have i been?

work is ok, home is ok. after all the stress and bullshit, both came out fine and dandy.

the new floor is almost stripy. it’s great.

one year free. that’s what i keep thinking. i am one year free from all the bullshit that i thought was going to take me out. like a opossum, i am coming back from the dead to hiss at all you fuckers.

Cole is moving back to St. Louis so Colt is the only one left in Springfield. i am worried about him being by himself. i won’t be there till Doomsday and that’s a long ways away.

i want to get back into doing more. i keep saying that i am starting THIS month and then things fall apart. this time i am going to move forward. one year free and i am going to run with that freedom. get back to reading and studying and cleaning. things are fine at home and at work. i am fine. it is time to move forward.

Witchcract XVIII

What do I believe happens to us when we die?

 

Oh, this is a fun question for me and I have given it some thought.

Once upon a time I was at my grandfather’s funeral, plotting out a curse to put on his soul. He killed my grandmother, destroyed my family, and I wanted revenge only a witch can do.

As I was updating the plot of the cures to my Facebook group, while at the funeral, a question was brought up. Part of my curse was I had brought 2 quarters with me, tokens to give to the Ferry Man to take over the river Stxy. I had leaned over his dead body and told him was gonna burn in hell for killing Grandma and I held his tokens for the Ferry Man, and that he needed both to cross over. My plan was to spend one quarter at the store and chuck the other into the ferry point of a local river.

So, the question of the curse was if my grandfather didn’t believe in the Greek myth of the afterlife, would the curse still work?

And that lead me to my own idea of the afterlife.

I think we start a journey after we die. We go through all the trials, St Peter at the pearly gates, Anubis with the scales, the Ferry Man at the river.

Every culture has a theory and I think they are all right and all happen to us. Like a video game, we go through each one until we hit where we are supposed to be.

Witchcraft Prompts

Witchcraft XVII

Which aspects of witchcraft appeal to me most, which the least?

 

What I like is how I decide what I want to work on and be better at. Right now, I am trying to improve my daily practice. I have hopes to investigate ancestor worship and deity work later.

What I like the least is more how there is zillions of beginner books but nothing about what to do after that. You get the basics under your hat and you think, what’s next?

I know now that I had the freedom to just go out and start exploring on my own but 20 years ago, I was a bit lost.

Witchcraft Prompts

Witchraft XVI

Would I like to work with a group some of the time, all of the time or not at all?

 

I have been solitary for over 20 years. I don’t know if I could work with a group if I wanted to.

Witchcraft Prompts

am i still alive?

am i still alive?

i know i am not living.

this past week has been stressed plus. work was just stressing with a F.O.R. and big wigs showing up. on the day of, i was the only blue shirt there and i was on side 1 for breakfast. i hold power and must use it wisely.

home is stressful too. Monday, the people will be here to put in the new floor and new shower and MY shower will get fixed (leaks like it’s on). ALL the things had to be to moved out of the rooms and we are done to just the bare necessities.

i have this thought that if the floor Grandma put in lasted 50 years, maybe we can get 50 years out of this floor. Jehoshaphat will be 52 and maybe a grandma in her own right.

i’ll be 96, gods willing.

i cleaned the hell out of my bathroom today.

i made hell of progress today. i just need to move. i want to try to do 20 mins a day this week, just to keep things going forward.

May is coming up and i didn’t get one last year. it was robbed from me. but i am so much better then i was an year ago that i refuse to let shit bog down on me anymore. i have one stressor in my life, and the more i think of cursing him, the more he falters, without me throwing the curse.

i am taking a shower that should clean my soul. tomorrow is the start of my work week and there is work to be done.