i am feeling, it.
i have plans, i want to write things, i want to live next month.
i’m not going to Springfield, i’m not seeing a Marvel movie, i’m not celebrating 14 years with Matthew.
i am going to do things i want on the 1st. i’m going places and doing the things i have not done in a long time.
i hope to find something. i don’t know what i’m looking for but i will know it when i see it.
“Man, I ain't changed, but I know I ain't the same” that line is hitting me harder and harder. i know i was changing, i didn’t think i would get to this way.
i am making wild plans and going forward, the best i can.
i am 106% done for the month, 39% done for the year giving me a C+. ta da?
some are up days and some are down days. i need to find a happy middle.
i am nervous about my plans for next week.
i need help. i need to find help.
and i think it’s coming towards me and i really need to work on that harder.
- there’s a cardinal, female, that keeps banging on my window.
- Mom said that Renelda said that’s the dead looking in at you.
- i keep going to my outdoor altar with a deck. i keep asking questions and drawing cards.
- i need to buy Snoop Dogg wine tomorrow.
- this isn’t daily witchcraft. or a part of it…
i’m 106% done for the month, 38% done for the year, giving me a C+ grade!
i need to sit down and write about the things i’m doing in the backyard.
so, where was i?
for the past year i have been trying to be a devotee to Karpo and theses past few weeks, i have felt cut off. i feel that someone is trying to get ahold of me, i don’t know who.
i know i need to read more and be more active in my witchcraft. i know witchcraft and religion can go hand in hand and that one is not the same as the other but i feel lost. i am trying to-
i am trying to live this new life. this life where i am working out, taking care of my body, crocheting, cleaning, being an adult.
being single…
i’m gonna let that hang out there and come back to it later.
i want to get done with the old X-Men cartoon so i can get going with the new.
i miss Colt. i should be seeing him in 3 weeks but i’m not. i won’t see him for 103 days.
i need to go to bed.
