February 28, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1241

“When was the last time you were sick?”

still haven’t had to call in for being sick.
2016: still don’t remember the last time i had to call in sick.
2015: still haven’t been sick that i had to call off work. 2 years of sick free!
2014: i really don’t remember.

February 27, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1240

“Are you the original or the remix? Why?”

see 2014.
2016: see 2014.
2015: i stand by what i said last year.
2014: motherfuckers, i am the original. no questions and no answers to your “Why?”.

February 26, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1239

“Name one item you can’t throw away.”

i am trying to par down on the crap in my life.
but what i’m never getting rid of is my friends: Colt, Matthew, Nicole, and Shelby.
2016: i didn’t throw it away but i am getting rid of crap.
2015: friends: Nicole, Matthew, Colt, Shelby.
2014: everything.

February 25, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1238

“What’s the last dream you remember?”

i don’t recall any right now.
2016: i don’t recall anything right now.
2015: i vaguely recall a dream with Robert Downey Jr in Avengers 2.
2014: i have no clue where this dream came from but this is what i remember (and really, it’s more like a hazy memory of this dream then of a dream):
it was Will Wheaton and Jerry O'Connell talking about being in the movie Stand by Me.
i can understand Will Wheaton being in my dreams but all this, i have no fucking clue.

February 24, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1237

“Today you’ve got too much ___.”

2016: time on my hands.
2015: wake time.
2014: Colt.

February 23, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1236

“What’s the most embarrassing purchase on a recent credit card statement?”

i don’t have any.
2016: there is none.
2015: there is none.
2014: there is none.

February 22, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1235

“What was your prevailing emotion of the day?”

2016: i am done and want to go home.
2015: i don’t know if i can make it with this new work schedule of 3 AM to noon without Colt here.
2014: i was a cunt to my friend, for no damn reason then my own stupidity.


i want to write. i want to put words down on paper and get these feels out of me and i cannot for the moment.
i want to write about my sexually. i read this post off Tumblr and it inspired me and then i started writing and i gave up because it was not what i wanted to say. i somehow lost the purpose of the post.
and i want to write about being an adult. i was inspired to write and i’ve been mulling it over my head but the words don’t come when i’m at the laptop. they just sit, somewhere in my head, and won’t come out.
words, all in my head, not wanting to come out.
i’ll take this frustration and work on other projects and see what happens.

February 21, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1234

“What is the current buzzword?”

2016: nothing right now.
2015: nothing that i know of.
2014: Loki Pizza.

February 20, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1233

“What word did you overuse today?”

2016: i don’t think i overused any words.
2015: i cussed a lot today. mostly saying “son of a cracker!”
2014: i don’t think i overused a word today.

February 19, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1232

“Who is the craziest person in your life?”

my Colt.
2016: when Paris was burning, Jacob took a trip to Florida. i worried about him flying.
Colt locked himself out of their apartment, on the balcony, without a shirt, for 2 hours, in winter. he found a scarf and climbed off the baloney.
he will always the Krazy in my life.
2015: still my Krazy. it’s his nickname, he will be always be my one crazy friend.
it’s his doom.
2014: Krazy.

February 18, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1231

“What’s the most expensive thing you’re wearing now?”

my skin?
2016: my skin?
2015: my skin?
2014: my pj’s.

February 17, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1230

“If you could changes something about today, what would it be?”

i was off so this makes up for working on 2/11.
2016: not to go to work.
2015: not go to work.
2014: not go to work.

i think i lost my voice

i think i lost my voice.
i forgot how long ago, but Colt stopped using Twitter and Tumblr. and i felt that i lost my audience.
i felt that when i tweet it goes nowhere. no one is reading it (even as i almost have 100 followers). my blog is more for me then anything, it’s where i can remember things and get shit out of me.
but i miss him on Twitter. how i would ping him with something totally inappropriate and other things.
and i’m saying this as i also got a case of writer’s block. i have two ideas for blog post and i can’t find the words to say them.
being off for 4 days was not a good thing.

February 16, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1229

“What was the last performance or concert you went to?”

i saw Phantom in March of 2015 with Nicole and Matthew.
2016: i saw Phantom last March with Nicole and Matthew.
2015: July 30, 2010 to see Charlie Daniels.
2014: July 30, 2010 to see Charlie Daniels.


so let’s a do a quick update.
Mom cut her finger on the kraut cutter Saturday night. we ended up at the ER.
i wanted to take out the 2nd person we talked to. i’m loud so no, i’m not yelling. and don’t tell me to be calm.
and my voice can drop a good octave when i’m mad.
Mom got her finger sewn up. it was borderline embarrassing with the lvl of hysteria she had.
she’s not good to have in an emergency. i don’t know where it came from but damn.
and the kicker, Dad came home and rather read the phone book then talk to me and Mom after a trip to the ER.
so 14th/15th. it was a weekend with Matthew, and food, booze, and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and just good times.
and i’m off today and tomorrow. i hope to get some work done.

February 15, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1228

“Write down the cure for a broken heart.”

i think he was a soul mate. and that’s why it still hurts, at times.
so, time don’t work. i think, if they were your soul mate, the hurt never goes away. it lingers, somewhere in you, popping out at random times.
2016: me and Nicole had talks back in November about soul mates and even 10 years after the fact he broke up with me, it still hurts. i have my men and it still hurts when i mention his name and he could have been a soul mate.
so, time don’t work. i don’t think anything works.
2015: i don’t think there is one. time, maybe.
2014: vodka.

February 14, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1227

“Did you kiss someone today?”

yes, Matthew.
2016: yes, Matthew.
2015: yes, Matthew.
2014: yes, Matthew.

February 13, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1226

“What’s your favorite question to ask people?”

still not liking talking to other people.
2016: i don’t talk to others if i can help it.
2015: i still don’t want to talk to people. or ask them questions.
2014: i rather not talk to people.

February 12, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1225

“What is your biggest obstacle right now?”

2016: it’s still myself.
2015: still myself.
2014: myself.

February 11, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1224

“How did you get to work today?”

i drove.
pissed that i broke a 3 year record.
2016: third year in a row i didn’t have to work on this day.

February 10, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1223

“If this day was an animal, which animal would it be?”

2016: dead.
2015: sloth.
2014: at times, a headless chicken.

February 9, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1222

“If this day was an animal, which animal would it be?”

2016: dead.
2015: sloth.
2014: at times, a headless chicken.

February 8, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1221

“Are you in love?”

way, too, much.
2016: i’m just gonna laugh this off.
2015: too much.
2014: yes.

starting 40 days

i started my 40 days today. i did this long ago and i don’t think i was old enough to understand it.
it’s all from Ilene Seglove’s book 40 Days and 40 Nights. i have hopes that i will get it “right” this time.
other than that, this month has not let anything to be yeah or nay about.

February 7, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1220

“What are three things you have to buy?”

today, nothing.
2016: didn’t need to buy anything today. did get some things while grocery shopping.
2015: i got food today.
2014: for tomorrow:
  1. gas
  2. lunch
and really what all i have planned to buy tomorrow.


need to get off my ass and finish the last two parts of Colt’s and Jacob’s gift and then to mail it off.
and mail off my taxes, which should pay off my student loans.
and then throw everything into paying off credit card.
and then throw that into saving for new car.
and this is so not the post i wanted to write.
i don’t remember the last time i worked on my story. i need to add some words on that thing soon.
this is a shit post.

February 6, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1219

“Are you seeking contentment or excitement?”

i’m seeking a better life then the shit i have now.
2016: i’m seeking a better life then the shit i have now.
2015: i’m seeking the powers to overcome what is in my way of becoming a better person.
2014: i want to feel alive.

February 5, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1218

“What are you obsessively listening to?”

nothing, really. nothing is really calling to me hardcore.
2016: everything on my laptop is speaking to me.
2015: just all the music on my itouch. nothing is really grabbing at me, at the moment.
2014: Macklemore.

February 4, 2017

February 3, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1216

“On a scale of one to ten, how sad are you? Why?”

2016: eh.
2015: i’m going with 5. not really happy, not really sad.
just middle.
2014: 5, Colt didn’t get his job.
4, if i really think about all the Krazyness.
(i should say the lower the number, the sadder i am.)

February 2, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1215

“Who do you live with?”

2016: assholes.
2015: my parents.
2014: my parents.

February 1, 2017

5 yr blog, day 1214

“What is your resolution for tomorrow?”

2016: have fun at Shelby’s.
2015: get shit done at work.
2014: relax and enjoy.