December 31, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1182

“What is your most cherished memory of the year?”


taking a pic with Shelby and Ethen and Shelby saying it was squad goals.
i have my own squad and i am part of another one.
ask 16 yr old me. i would never thought i would be this cool to be part of 2 (or more!) squads.
2015: eep. it was my adventures that i loved this year.
no, it was anytime i was out and about with my people that i loved the most.
2014: look under “cuz we’re connected” for this year.
2013: nothing pops out at me. :-(






2017




random bit of something in my head, Google it out, take the first page, and roll with it (http://www.recover-from-grief.com/7-stages-of-grief.html).
there’s 7 stages of grief. i’m up to lvl 6: reconstruction and working.
who died? Bowie, a year ago.
and yes, it’s been a very long year, filled with so much death.
there is just one small problem. there is no montage of babies, showing the next wave of greatness of artiest, singers, movie makers, actors, who will live on the moon, Mars, walk on the Sun and writer the greatest things of all time. there is only long views of so many heroes going this year.
so, i took 2016 off. i didn’t plan to but it just got to me. it roared it ugly head more so on the night Debbie Reynolds died. i cried and listen to Blackstar.
and then i hear about the death of William Christopher, Father Mulcahy on the show M*A*S*H.
i’ve forgotten my lifeline. i’ve forgotten my motto.

“That's my secret, Captain: I'm always angry.”




so, it’s time to dry my tears, because i know there will be more. it’s time to get up. it’s time to ball my fists. it’s time to get angry and stay angry. it’s time.
i will cry. i will be sad. i will be happy.
i will be angry. i will be angry all 365 days of 2017. i will live my life with anger, in all the colors of it, white, black, red, green, purple, pink.
let’s do this. get angry with me and make 2017 a better year then 2016. we will yell and scream and hold each other and take out any one, or thing, that stands in our way.
That’s my secret Cap. I’m always angry.
Hulk Smash.
Hulk Smash Now.
Hulk Ready to Fight.

2016

hello 2016.
Wal-Mart has the policy of three days off for bereavement.
#TacoTuesday was a hit!
about a year ago i joined Fetlife.com (i’m the sexy bitch into weird shit, look me up).
good news and the thoughts of a positive future came crashing down last Monday.
Matthew came up last week and we saw Me Before You.
i’ve been bad.
so much happen in July!
August seems to be the month i can’t get shit together.
here we are, Oktober.
written on the 3rd of November, right before going in the store.
it’s fuzzy to me now, a week later but here are some random highlights.

top movies of 2016
  1. Captain America: Civil War
  2. Dr. Strange
  3. Star Trek Beyond
  4. The Magnificent Seven
  5. Star Wars
  6. Me Before You
  7. Independence Day: Resurgence

December 30, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1181

“List what you’ve eaten for the past week.”


food. the answer will always be food.
2015: food. the answer will always be food.
2014: hey look, same as last year, food!
2013: food.



December 29, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1180

“What are your top three wishes?”


GET MY SHIT TOGETHER!!!
2015: out.
2014: i just want out. can i wish for that 3 times?
2013:
  1. pay off credit card
  2. move out
  3. i don’t know. a pony?


December 28, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1179

“Snuggle down or go out and play?”

cry.
2015: play, then hardcore snuggle.
very hardcore snuggle.
2014: play, then snuggle, snuggle hardcore.
2013: play, then snuggle, snuggle hardcore.




CAN YOU HEAR ME DAVID ROBERT JONES?!?

David Robert Jones! do you hear me under the serious moonlight? were you the one that held this universe together? are you the one that’s starting a new alt- universe and are taking all the cool people? is this the fucking rapture?

December 27, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1178

“What was the last time you felt at peace?”




January 10, 2016. i went to bed that night and all was right with the world.
i woke up Monday morning and Nicole called me to tell me Bowie had died.
and it’s been downhill since.
2015: i don’t know if it was peace or the fact everything felt right.
it was the night before my birthday. i was good and drunk and had out mathed Jacob.
when it was bed time, i was evil and took off my shirt and bra to sleep topless in Jacob's bed (i’m assuming i’m the biggest boobs that bed ever saw).
and right before passing out, i grabbed my phone to txt Colt (who was on the other side of the apartment) good night.
2014: May 27, 2014. read about it here, “Part III: Boyfriend Prime”.
2013: 8/16/2013. read about it here, “daylight”.

December 26, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1177

“On a scale of one to ten, how spontaneous were you today?”


none.
2015: -1.
2014: less then zero.
2013: zero.



December 25, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1176

“Write down five words that describe today.”





just like the others only painful this year.
2015: 3 years in a row: long, boring, shitty, bad, depressing.
2014: hey look! same as last year!
long, boring, shitty, bad, depressing.
2013: long, boring, shitty, bad, depressing.




December 24, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1175

“Write down a recent transition.”

life.
2015: McDonald's.
2014: shit from the store.
2013: i brought lunch for me and Colt.



December 23, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1174

“What’s your favorite cereal?”

frosted flakes.
2015: frosted flakes.
2014: frosted flakes.
2013: frosted flakes.



Nur für einen Tag




last night was a tipping point.
this past week has been stressful, today (and parts of last night) was drama, fucking Christmas is coming towards me like a sick, twisted, train of dearth, and i am not feeling the greatest.
the tipping came as i sat at McD’s. what makes me feel better? music. what song is my go to to feel better? “Heroes” by David Bowie. whose anniversary of their death is coming up, probably sending me into dark/sorrow? Bowie.
i end this post with the song that, somethings, makes me feel better. because, really, Nur für einen Tag.






December 22, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1173

“Did you meet someone new recently? If so, who was it?”


Emily!
2015: i met Jacob this year!
2014: no.
2013: in the past 3 months i did meet Tom.



December 21, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1172

“If you could be the best at anything, what would it be?”


human.
2015: be a better woman to my men.
2014: i want to be a better amerwitch.
2013: dudes, i’m the best amerwitch there will ever be. no need to wish for anything else.



December 20, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1171

“What is your dream vacation?”


warm.
2015: i don’t know if anything will top #Avergerpalzooa.
2014: right now, and i know it will happen: 5th anniversary weekend in Springfield with Matthew, Colt, and Ultron.
2013: Walt Disney World for a week with Mathew.



December 19, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1170

“If you could change one thing about today, what would it be?”


i would be warm and the internet worked in my room.
2015: i work a full day.
2014: to be done with the Yule time crocheting.
2013: Colt’s gift would be done.



December 18, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1169

“What do you like to talk about?”


not a damn thing right now.
2015: everything.
2014: anything and everything.
2013: anything and everything.



December 17, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1168

“If you had to move to a new city, where would you move?”


out.
2015: i need to move. i think it would be best to move closer to work, Rosebudish.
Springfield would be nice but that would not work out long term.
2014: Rosebud.
2013: Rosebud.




December 16, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1167

“What so you find irresistible?”


i love good vodka, gay boys, and the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
2015: well, i like my men a bit gay and seemingly with over attachment to their furchildgren.
2014: boys with cats.
2013: in what? in life, men, women, cars? this vagueness just ain’t cute anymore.



December 15, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1166

“Moderation or excess?”

yes.
2015: all the time.
2014: both, at the same time.
2013: both. at the same time.



i hate Mondays



so i’m writing 3 days in a row.
something must be wrong with me.
i have plans to get to Monday and get some work down. i need to buy a box, and spray paint it and other things.
and then one set of gifts will be done.
need to get my ass together for Colt and Jacob.
and i think i know what to make them for next year.
or lest the inspirations for what will work for it.
there is just no rest for me. i keep seeing all these posts about Christmas vacation/break and i don’t get one. i’m still slugging through this life, trying to keep my head above water.
the cold, frozen, water.
i am working, i am getting better. it’s just a slow go but i am making headway.
i have my plans and the slow work of said plans.
i need to get back to making my to do list and get cracking on that.

December 14, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1165

“Why are you impressive?”


show me something to make me impressed. i’m not going to oh and ah over any common tricks.
2015: stand by last year’s answers.
2014: i am and i am not. show me a talent i didn’t think you had, that will impress me.
2013: so don’t understand this question at all.



more inches...




again, pink lacy thing, hotel, fast internet, feeling blah.
i have hopes of magick and crocheting when i get home.
and then try to get some bigger work done on my room next week.
i am making small steps, but it’s steps. one inch, one box.
it’s a slow process but i am doing something. is it getting better? kinda. i don’t feel so down when i get at least an hour in and not the whole day.




December 13, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1164

“What is your biggest regret?”


ah yes. where do i start?
i am going to keep with last year’s answer. i am where i’m suppose to be, for better or worse.
2015: where the road splits, i took the path i took. and then again and again, going further or closer to my first path.
so, what do i regret? do i regret working at Wal-Mart that let me met Colt, and put him on the path to meet Jacob?
do i regret not sticking with my loser ex and missing out on Matthew?
i don’t regret getting here.
2014: i said my whole life last year, but the more i think about it, i’m here for a reason, for better or worse.
i have no regrets.
2013: my whole life.








inches




so, here i am in a pink lacy thing in a hotel with fast internet. i should be living it up and not feeling like blah.
i signed up for Patreon and to start supporting the people i love.
i’m sitting here, looking on what is being made and how much people are making per thing and i’m trying to get my head together on what i can do. i know i got skills, how do i turn that out?
i need to start off doing something, smallish. i need to start with something of a podcast or YouTube videos. if i can get that off, then i can move onto the next wave.
even it i don’t bring in the millions (or hundreds) it can’t hurt to try.
and in other news, i’m watching American Horror Story: Coven and it’s only making me want to witch. i found my cards and i am slowly working on my room and i know i am getting better. not by leaps and bounds but by inches.
inches are all i got and i’ll take what bits i can.

December 12, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1163

“What’s on your wish list?”


i don’t know. i really don’t know what would be the top of it now…
2015: penguin.
a REAL penguin.
2014: store brought dress and a pony.
2013: store brought dress and a pony.




December 11, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1162

“Where do you find joy?”

my crocheting.
2015: nowhere right now.
2014: in the pure and simple.
2013: nowhere right now. nowhere.



December 10, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1161

“What surprised you today?”


being told that hours needed to be cut.
2015: nothing surprised me.
2014: i did not run into trouble at town.
2013: how much happier i am working over in apparel.



December 9, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1160

“What is your most recent act of generosity?”


i’ve been giving out candy canes.
2015: i don’t punch people who piss me off.
2014: i don’t recall.
2013: i don’t recall.



December 8, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1159

“How ambitious do you feel today?”

none.
2015: none.
2014: this is the wrong time of year to ask this question.
2013: none.



December 7, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1158

“Where do you see yourself next year?”


i don’t know anymore.
2015: better off then what is going on now.
2014: in my own place.
2013: no clue or i don’t want to say.



ta da!



yes, i did get up and work a bit on my room. any real great progress? not really. just a small step, just and inch forward but it’s an inch and it’s forward.
but, this was a inch worthwhile.
I FOUND MY TAROT CARDS!!!
see, i lost them in May after i went to Springfield. so it’s been a long time with no guidance.
so, ok, i’ll just buy new ones.
the Halloween Deck was run a mill. the Flower Speak deck is fetching $300 on Amazon.
holy shit, i have a $300 tarot deck!
i feel like i can witch again now that my cards are back.







December 6, 2016

5 yr blog,day 1157

“Today you gain___.”

a day off.
2015: stress.
2014: a day off.
2013: weight.



art?


i don’t know if i’m ahead or behind with the Yule gifts. i know i am working on them and am making some head way.
and then there is the question for next year. what to do.
Colt, i don’t know what he wants. i don’t want to go down the path of scarves and hats and afghans. i want art.
and i don’t know if he’s the gay that would like to be covered in dollies.
if it’s not crocheted, then it will be paint. and it will be that art.
and i don’t know how will that will take to everyone.





December 5, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1156

“What do you miss?”

my room.
2015: alone time.
2014: Colt.
2013: right now, my grandmas.



December 4, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1155

“Do you want to know how it ends?”

no.
2015: well, i know how Avengers 2 ends now.
2014: like i said last year, what ends?
2013: what ends? the world? my life? Avengers 2?



December 3, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1154

“On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you?”

eh.
2015: pretty good.
2014: low.
2013: right now, 7.



December 2, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1153

“What details from today would you like to remember?”


nothing, really.
2015: i didn’t do anything today worth remembering.
2014: Agents of S.H.E.I.L.D..
2013: none.



THINGS ALL BLACK THOR’SDAY!!!



it’s fuzzy to me now, a week later but here are some random highlights:
  • i was put in charge of 6 fucking queue lines and given no manager for support. is was so much bullshit. did not help that i had family i am feuding with.
  • again, Black Friday was a clusterfuck. i could run it better if they had the balls to give me the power.
  • the stress of the day caused to me to go on break, drink a Mt. Dew, and ended up with 113 heart rate.
  • i did get my art kit.
  • Friday, coworkers called it. one bitch told everyone she was going to call in because she couldn’t afford our 25% discount but her cunty ass was in on Saturday looking over the Black Friday movies.
  • i started craving cocaine on Friday morning.
  • Colt said i am getting old.

December 1, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1152

“What would you like your epitaph to read?”


wife, girlfriend, and loving mother.
2015: wife, girlfriend, and loving mother.
2014: wife and loving mother.
2013: wife and loving mother.



November 30, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1151

Today you almost ___.”


no, i did something today.
i got a “new” car.
2015: went off on a manager.
2014: did something.
2013: got got.




November 29, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1150

“What five words describe your mood?”


drunk, fearful, pissed off, depressed, sad.
2015: tired, pissed off, blood thirsty, fucked.
2014: tired, good, melancholy, hopeful, lonely.
2013: stressed, stressed, stressed, stressed, stressed.



November 28, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1149

“What was the last risk you took?”


i really don’t remember. i know i take them, nothing stands out right now as a “big risk”.
2015: i really don’t remember. i know i take them, nothing stands out right now as a “big risk”.
2014: writing down the story: “The Pirate and the Witch.”
2013: changing jobs. 



November 27, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1148

“Who inspires you?”


i was just inspired to draw today.
2015: Nicole.
and Colt.
2014: Colt.
2013: Colt.




November 26, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1147

“What three words describe your family?”


big, tall, mean.
2015: big, tall, mean.
2014: big, tall, mean.
2013: big, tall, mean.



November 25, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1146

“How much water did you drink today?”


not enough.
2015: not enough.
2014: better than last year but not enough.
2013: not enough.



November 24, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1145

“Who have you recently deleted from your contacts/address book?”


no one.
2015: no one.
2014: no.
2013: well, i did deleted someone from Facebook awhile back.



November 23, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1144

“What is your favorite brunch food?”


i don’t do bunch.
2015: i don’t do brunch.
2014: i don’t do brunch.
2013: really? this is a thing?



November 22, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1143

“What are you trying to do?”

better my life.
2015: move.
2014: better my life.
2013: bleed.



November 21, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1142

“What are your favorite shoes?”


just look back on previous year’s answers.
2015: i wear shoes. i have, 2 pair right now so, i’m not a woman of many shoes.
2014: still don’t have a pair. i have shoes, i wear them when i need to.
2013: don’t have a pair.



November 20, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1141

“What do you have to get done?”

my life.
2015:still, my room.
2014: my room. :-( 
2013: my room.


November 19, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1140

“When was the last time you checked an online social network?”


online all the time, yo.
2015: I’M ONLINE 24/7!!!
2014: I’M ALWAYS ON, ALL THE TIME!!!
2013: on one now.



November 18, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1139

“What is your dream job of the day?”


mother and wife.
2015: full time witch.
2014: full time witch.
2013: full time witch.



November 17, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1138

“Which friends(s) did you last speak to?”


Matthew.
2015: Matthew.
2014: Matthew.
2013: Matthew.



November 16, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1137

“What are you obsessed with right now?”

getting better.
2015: nothing right now.
2014: crocheting.
2013: Thor and all the Avengers.



eh


have the need to write, don’t have a thought to put down on paper.
need to get off and work on getting better. i have a plan, a weak plan but a plan.
still coming down from my trip, trying to get back to a “regular” schedule and life path.
working on my alternate universes dystopia is not a fun idea anymore.
got an idea for “Adventures of the DarkShark and his Witch” but, eh.




November 15, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1136

“Waking up was ___”

ok.
2015: kinda nice.
2014: short and unfulfilled.
2013: pleasant.



no words


i wanted to write something. something about what happen last week.
some things hit me this weekend. some things make me realized how much i don’t fit in, being in the sticks, that the city would be a good place for me.
and somehow, Matthew is not pure evil.
i think, i’m still too close to it all to sort it all out and put it in words. i need to let is fester inside of me and come out, pure and hot.



After Times "..."



there’s been tears. lots of tears and some panic.
i use the line “maybe we’ll be in the same concentration camps” with a bit a humor and a bit of fear, will this happen?
i know i have privilege. i have the whiteness and i have the looks of being heterosexual.
but i’m a woman, a pagan, a queer. there’s some marks against me and i will go down swinging.
Friday was rough but me and Matthew made it to Nicole’s. we went to two bars and then home.
the first one was ok, the second one was better, The Fortune Teller Bar. there’s a “side” joint inside of it that sells sandwiches. mine was awesome, Matthew’s was awesome. i want to say it was hipsterish but i don’t know...
i did get my fortune told. i went in, pentacle covered, and didn’t give her anything. this was going to be an ice-cold reading.
and, it was good. good things coming. odd cards but reading my own symbolism into the cards, i’m going with good coming soon.
back to Nicole’s, with her friend Todd. Matthew bailed but me and her and him stated up, smoked some pot (i don’t think i got high and next time there will be mushrooms) and gods, an airing of all the shit we lived thought. names were brought up and things and oh my gods.
my gods.
next morning came with a very hungover Nicole and me and Matthe off to see the zoo.
highlights: the Tasmanian devils, penguins, and seeing the red panda pooing.
really, the Tasmanian devils were awesome. not a lot of peeps there, they were active, and i got to see them in motion.
if opossums are what are good and light in the world, then Tasmanian devils are the dark and demons of the world.
went back to Nicole’s to find her alive. packed our stuff and we headed out to CoMo.
Chili’s, hotel, mall, grandparents, went home on Sunday.
and Monday was back to the real world.

Before Times “Come At Me Bro!”




it was a great night, in the before time.
Ethan picked me up and we had an uneventful ride to see Shelby. Ethan had David Bowie and i greatly need to hear those songs.
we met up with Shelby, who Snapchatted the night away. me and Ethan are part of her squad.
i’m part of 2 squads. when did i become so popular?
we ate at Chili’s. the top shelf Long Island Ice Tea was good and got my feet warm.
and then we had ice cream at Sonic.
the movie, the movie. what can i say?
trippy as fuck. hate to see it on acid or other but damn, what a trip.
welcome to the MCU Benedict. glad to see you here.
the ending… SPOILERS!!!
should have seen the Time Stone showing up. i was wrapped up too much in the story to even think about it.
and then Thor shows up and hey, look! let’s set up the movie that’s coming out NEXT FUCKING YEAR!
end of SPOILERS.
and then we came out of the movie and looked on the internet.








November 14, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1135

“What do you need to vent about?”


*uncontrollably laughing about what all has been going on in the political year*
2015: nothing.
2014: work.
2013: work.



November 13, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1134

“What song could be your self-portrait?”





“Heroes” by David Bowie?
2015: still have not found one.
2014: still have not found a song that would be me.
as for a theme song for the now, i don’t have one. went kinda dark where the songs of Buffy and Muppet’s Most Wanted got to me.
2013: i’m more about my theme song for the now. never thought of a self-portrait.
i really don’t know what would be a good self-portrait for me. any ideas?





November 12, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1133

“Is there anything missing in your life?”



i am working on that.
2015: lots of things.
2014: Colt.
2013: loaded question. don’t know if i want to air them here.
children.




November 11, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1132

“What do you always avoid?”


work.
2015: life.
2014: i don’t know. it changes so often that i can’t keep up.
2013: creepers at work, ass mangers Chris.



November 10, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1131

“Where do you find pleasure?”




in the simpleness of my friends.
2015: still with my men, now that i have 3: Colt, Jacob, and Matthew.
2014: with my men.
2013: everywhere.



Trick or Treating



Halloween was wonderful. i went over to Jessica’s with chili for Trick or Treating. we made it around the block before Emily and the dog had to go home.
we went 2 miles, came home, passed out some candy, had a piña coladas, and then i went home.

November 9, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1130

“Did you leave work on time?”


yes.
2015: yes.
2014: off today.
2013: was off today.



November 8, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1129

“What topic are you bored talking about?”



the election.
2015: same as last year.
2014: sometimes when Matthew goes on about Star Trek too much.
2013: nothing.



November 7, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1128

“Who is your hero?”




i hope my new hero will be Dr. Strange.
2015: Colt.
2014: i don’t feel i have any heroes right now. ask me again next year.
2013: THOR!!!



November 6, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1127

“What time did go to bed last night?”



kinda later then i wanted to.
2015: eh.
2014: about same time as the last few days.
2013: way too late.



Dread

written on the 3rd of November, right before going in the store.
I’m sitting in the parking lot of the store, filled with dread. I know, once I go in, it’s gonna be “MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS” shoved down my throat so hard I’ll be shitting Christmas trees. 


It’s November. It’s gray today and kinda rainy. These are the days I live for, gray fall days in a post Halloween world. It’s the days I was made for. 


I think I liked Christmas, once upon a time. In days where it didn’t start till day after Thanksgiving/December 1st. Where you only had 25 days to get it all in: sing all the songs, watch all the movies, eat all the cookies! And then the afterglow that lasted till January 2nd and then it was depressing cold winter. 


My 25 days of Christmas was used up before the middle of Halloween, once the Christmas trees were put out on display. 


I’m done with Christmas. I know I have a few gifts to crochet but other than that, I have no love in my heart for this blasted season.

November 5, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1126

“What should remind as-is?”



nothing. i’m hoping that i am at a start of a reboot.
2015: nothing. i am in a major need of a reboot.
2014: nothing.
i need a change.
2013: nothing.




November 4, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1125

“Today you made___.”



nothing.
2015: nothing.
2014: a choice.
2013: an endcap.



November 3, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1124

“When did you last hold a baby?”



Halloween, 2016!
2015: way long ago when Ellie was one.
2014: longer ago when Ellie was one.
2013: long ago when Ellie was one.



November 2, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1123

“What’s your biggest expense right now?”

student loans.
whoot for it not being my credit card this year!!!
2015: still, my credit card.
3 years in a row, this has to stop.
2014: still, my credit card. :-/
2013: my credit card.





November 1, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1122

“What was something you couldn’t do today?”


start.
2015: all my work.
2014: hide.
2013: relax.



October 31, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1121

“Halloween plans? What’s your costume?”


will blog about this day, later.
2015: will blog about this later and post link here when it’s up.
2014: nothing.
2013: my plans are to go over to Colt’s for tacos and spook movies and a bit of magick.
i’m basically dressings as "myself”.




October 30, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1120

“Are you able to tell when you had enough?”


i don’t know anymore.
2015: no.
2014: to drink, yes and no.
2013: enough what?



October 29, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1119

“Camping or hotel?”


still game to pop a tent and spend a night in the backyard.
2015: still game to pop a tent and spend a night in the backyard.
2014: hotel. hotel with a whirlpool, even better.
2013: hotel. willing to try camping. told Matthew it might be fun to sleep in a tent in the backyard one night.



October 28, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1118

“___ is completely ridiculous.”


the store.
2015: i really don’t know. nothing seems out there, right now.
2014: till 2019, i got dates with Matthew, Colt, and the MCU.
2013: the fact the inbreed rednecks of Arkansas think we can do what we do with no people and no hours.



October 27, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1117

“What was the last goofy thing you did?"


don’t remember.
2015: i really don’t remember.
2014: told someone that i did not want to cuddle with their cat.
2013: truly? save a toy kitty from the jackass at the service desk.



October 26, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1116

“How do you feel about your body?”


no.
2015: my feet are burning, due to new shoes and them getting worked on this weekend.
other than that, i’m okish.
2014: fine.
2013: today, ok. fat and a bit gooy.




late to the party


coming late to the party, i’ve started watching Orange is the New Black. wow, the lesbian sex in this show.
and, as someone who’s not seen that much lesbian porn, or had sex with another woman, umm, wow. so, is that how’s it done?
but, as much as it seems there is a dime a dozen stereotypes, there’s a woman of about every flavor in the show. it’s almost, showing all the flavors of womenness you could ever make. i’m loving it just on the bases that, i’m drawing from all the flavors. it’s feeding my soul somehow.
and for a drama, it’s nice not to see “white people” problems all the time. it’s different, all new, it’s just so damn different and it’s great.
and i have not hit the season with Ruby Rose yet.




October 25, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1115

“What is the most honest thing you’ve said today?”


eh.
2015: i think it was just a day of white lies, just to look like i’m nice and happy.
2014: i don’t recall. been keeping things to myself.
2013: whatever it was i know it was to Colt. i’m almost overly honest with him.



October 24, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1114

“How are you? Write it in a rhyming couplet (two lines of verse that rhymes and have the same rhyme).”


I worked.
I hurt.

2015: i’m off today
yay?

2014: work sucked
everything fucked.

2013: today was the same old, some old
and now in my room, it grows cold and cold 







October 23, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1113

“Who is the last person on your missed calls?”


Matthew.
2015: Matthew.
2014: Matthew.
2013: Matthew.



October 22, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1112

“Write a haiku about your day.”



not a good work day.
I felt like shit all day long
Not know what was wrong

2015: off on a payday,
fucking up my days of the week
day off, day on: bad.

2014: two days off, in row,
fix me and my car, free time
inventory, morrow.

2013: Wal-Mart I went to,
not mine, another i go,
Krazy, again, broke.


October 21, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1111

“What new word have you learned?”


asexual and demisexual.
2015: from a while ago but i’ve learned polyamorus and metamour.
2014: really have not learn any new worlds lately.
2013: fag hag.



October 20, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1110

“Who do you count on?”


Colt, Jacob, Matthew, Nicole, Shelby.
2015: Colt, Jacob, Matthew, Nicole, Shelby.
2014: Colt, Matthew, Nicole.
2013: Colt, Matthew, Nicole.



October 19, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1109

“What was your last credit card purchase?”


no clue and i’m not looking it up.
2015: crap from the store.
2014: soap and vitamins at the store.
2013: Much Ado About Nothing, on blu-ray.



October 18, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1108

“What famous living famous person would you want to meet for drinks?”


Joss. just Joss and some martinis.
2015: my first thought was Tom Hiddleson.
but Joss is still boss.
2014: still Joss.
2013: Joss.




lostish? maybe?



so, what has been going on?
nothing.
and with that word, i just wanted to copy and paste and post it up on my blog, but no, let’s talk.
Colt left is job and is going back to the store. he was being mopy about things and, in his words, bitch slap him with a text.
i thought it more of a kick in the ass.
and then i got out of bed and started my day.
this is like the 2nd time i’ve had to be, i don’t know the words for it. it was the 2nd time that me and him texted back to “fix” things, all before i got out of bed.
oh the things i could do to that boy if we lived together.
i still need to get my act together and send Colt that email i need to send.
now i’m off to play Skyrim.

October 17, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1107

“What’s the most valuable thing you own?”


i don’t own my friends or my men but that’s what i count as most valuable.
2015: i don’t own my friends or my men but that’s what i count as most valuable.
2014: my friends
2013: money wise or what i prize?
my laptop. i think.




October 16, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1106

“You woke up at ___.”


i don’t remember but i know i took a pic of the full moon at 4:33 AM.
2015: bit before 9 AM.
2014: quarter to 8 AM.
2013: quarter to 9 AM.



October 15, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1105

“How much time do you spend commuting?”

same.
2015: same as the last 2 year’s answers.
2014: same as last year’s answers. what i have learn is that there’s this space/time thing. the slower i go from Belle to Owensville, the faster i get to the store.
2013: takes about 45 mins to get to work, an hour to get back.



October 14, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1104

“What expression do you overuse?”

none, right now.
2015: none right now.
2014: “My show’s on.”
2013: ask the DarkShark.



October 13, 2016

5 yr blog, day 1103

“You have no patience for___”.


working in retail, you learn that there is no logic to i can’t have patience for anything, anymore.
2015: i really don’t know anymore. i think i’ve given up on a “normal” life so i’m just coasting till death.
2014: lack of myself.
2013: myself.