April 1, 2015

my weekend at my girlfriend's




the plan was to leave my house by 1 to get to Nicole’s by 4. Matthew got to my house late, due to having to go to the loan sharks with his mother.
and he drove slow.
we made it to Union, ate at Taco Bell, had to go to Wal-Mart because someone forgot their socks (not me) (and i thought Union’s Wal-Mart was bigger than mine was, it’s not). and then onto the Interstate.
one short stop to the cigar store, we made it to Nicole’s. thank gods.
we sat, drank water, Nicole cleaned out Matthew’s van, because she was going to ride in the back because we were going to the strip club!
this is why we had to stop the cigar store. Matthew needed them to smoke while we are at the club.
we make our way, across the Mississippi River, to the Larry Flynt’s Hustler Club St. Louis in Washington Park, Illinois. we went out of state!
walked in, there was a naked woman, tied to a St. Andrew’s cross, crying, being whipped, loudly.
did i mention it was fetish night?
it was a lot to take in all at once, being it was my first time at a strip club (yes, i know, 34 and just now doing to a strip club).
it was an eye opener, really, with it being fetish night and all. once girl was just wearing heels and a collar. all ages, all bodies wearing everything or nothing.
and then the strippers.
there were 4 or 5 that rotated the whole night. one was a blonde with great boobs (Matthew got a lap dance from her), one had no boobs, and one was a bitch about all the freaks being there (the fetish people).
there was a black stripper. she had mad skills. she climb to the top of the pole, get mad spinning speed, and then down, boom, into a splits.
mad skills.

while me and Nicole was watching her spin and drop, Nicole said that they don’t have this back in the O.C.
you mean black people? i replied.
the look on her face.




Nicole, at one point, changed from her dress to just her shoes and underwear, going topless for the night.
i tried not to look, but, boobs. she has large areolas for her boobs. maybe it’s just my lack of being around different boobs.
and then there’s Matthew.
he wore his long sleeve button up, black shirt, and because he had his blazer in the van, that too.
we ran into one of Nicole’s friends, Mike, and Matthew told him he felt like the Kingpin. they then sat and talked about comic books, while at the strip club. the best part was when Mike ran into use again, said “Excuse me Mr. Fisk.”
see, i like my guys in makeup and dresses. but seeing Matthew dressed up, smoking that cigar, watching the naked women dance, it was the sexist i ever seen him.
and the place had free WiFi! we are going back in November!
Friday Nicole had to go to orientation for her new job, leaving me and Matthew to entertain ourselves. we choose Star Trek: Deep Space Nine on Netflix. first was the pilot and then Worf’s wedding.
Nicole has two dogs, Zoe and Hanners. Zoe is big and you will love her or she will just make her love you and Hanners was abused. She was leery of me and Matthew the weekend. she walked and when i asked her if she wanted to watch Star Trek with us, she left.
i take it she’s not a Trekkie dog.
Nicole came home, we bummed, we got ready for Phantom. Nicole’s friend Shaughnessy came over. he’s a bass player for a punk band that was going on tour in England the week after. we pick Taco Tower to eat.
Nicole’s a pscatarian. she asked me wanted sounded better on the menu: the avocado dish or the mushroom dish.
i said ew to both.
she got the avocado.
i had steak.
we make it to the Fox. it has been far too long.
Nicole got a drink, I got the Phantom drink (water down piña colada). we uses the powdered room and kept running into hordes of high school girls. Nicole asked what happen if we sat next to them.
i wish we did.
our seats were kick ass. the binoculars were uber good. the fact we sat by older persons who talked, txted during the show blew our minds. i paid $500 for theses seats, what the hell? it would have been better to sit in the middle of high schoolers, at least we could get their chaperone to wheel them in.
the show. i will have to post that later.
back to Nicole’s. me and Matthew changed into our matching pj’s. Matthew passed out, face down, and Nicole was talking to him thinking he was me and was wondering why my ass was so small.
me and Nicole had a good talk about LIFE.
Saturday, our last day. Nicole had a bit at her new job, came home and we went to the zoo.
yes, i adulted my weekend with strip club, Broadway musical, and then zoo.
saw the prairie dogs, the male peacock was full on strutting, and Nicole dropped her phone into the prairie dog pit. and saw the red pandas.
then, PENGUINS!
the penguin house just opened up the week before. the kings were wonderful. the rockhoppers were pissed off. i told Nicole to beware, the penguin upraising was coming.
i caved and got a stupid BFF penguin necklace for me and Nicole, and Matthew found a African penguin to add to my collection.
a go around in the Herpetarium and then we came home.
oh!  Hanners did let me pet her, scratched her belly, and i got her tag to wag!  whoot!
packed up the van and me and Matthew headed home.
we stopped in Coulmbia to see Grandma and Grandpa Bob, Barns and Nobel and then back to the O.C.
Colt better bring his A game if he’s going to make Avengers weekend better.

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