February 27, 2015

darkness my old friend

don’t where to go with this. let’s see if i cam make sense.
this past week i was on the work schedule of 3 AM to noon for 5 days. i go to bed about 5 PM, wake up a bit after midnight, and pretending life is normal.
i brought sleeping pills to help me.
yesterday i stayed up till about 10 PM. i was awake for 22 hours.
the last time i had an odd work schedule (10 PM to 7 AM, and that only 4 days) and i was not making it. it did something to me. the only thing that brought me back was Colt. on the last day, i got home at 8 AM, and i think i slept some and then we went and saw The Wolverine. it was when he was driving home, i closed my eyes and the wind was blowing around my hair and i felt alive. that was the last time i felt alive.
but this week had no Colt at the end of it. there was just the death of a nerd legend.
Leonard Nimoy died today. i’m not a Trekie, just dating one. it still hurts because i’m a nerd. i follow nerds on Twitter. Twitter is sad now. i’ve been crying some off and on.
i wanted to write about other stuff, but that will wait.

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