June 13, 2014

Part III: Boyfriend Prime

Part III: Boyfriend Prime.

words fail me

this was not the way it was supposed to happen. it was supposed to be a simple Wednesday afternoon of a movie and dinner.
then shit hit the fan early April and plans had to be reworked, mountains moved, to get to this story.
i used my powers for good. i think i used my limits.
Sunday: i make Imitation Chicken Enchilada, pack my car to the brim [including 20 liters of soda (not a drop of vodka)] and made my way to... work.
i had to work noon to nine to be able to be off for Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday which led me to have to drive the first leg of this journey at night, on the Interstate, on a holiday weekend. fuck me.
i get off work, change clothes, buy some flowers, and in a stroke of genius, decide to have Thor playing on my itouch instead of trying to find music to listen to.
coz, with Thor and Loki as my copilots, what could go wrong?
nothing! two cops had someone pulled over right inside of Vichy and there was like no one on the Interstate! it was great!
got to Waynesville.

side note: Matthew's house was better, still gods awful.

the motorcycle rally was going on a few miles away but we could hear music just fine. after a Walmart run for cat food (story for another day) i took a shower and we settle down to watch X-Men: First Class.
while taking my shower, i started crying. they were not tears of joy for seeing my TheDarkShark the next day, but that i would have to say goodbye.
Monday: woke up early to The Dark Knight on the TV.
packed up Matthew's van started the second leg of the journey to that mystical land called Springfield.
we stop in Lebanon for a Sonic breakfast of foot long chili cheese dogs. as me and Matthew waited for food, "Demons" by Imagine Dragon played over the Sonic radio.
"Hell bound"
i took it as a sign, a good sign.
onward to Springfield!
this started a mass amount of txting/Tweeting of every mileage sign and general excitement.
i told Matthew that i haven't felt this excited since the day we saw Avengers. i knew Avengers was going to be wonderful, i just didn't know how awesome.
seeing Colt = seeing Avengers.
some of you will understand.
panic about Colt getting off work early turned into him jerking me around, the assbutt.
we get to the store and i didn't want to go inside. i started panicking because i didn't know how i was going to take all this.
made it inside. i was blessed to have a 2014 penny in my purse so I made Colt a smashed penny.
me and Matthew hide in fine guns room. more txting ensues.
Colt tweets:

in a haze, me and Matthew wait by the alligator pond. once i calm down, i start freaking out again.
then i saw that misshapen head, fuzzy chin, dumpty body i have only seen as a ghostshadow from the corner of my eye in my store for the past 2 months, pushing a cart coming towards me. i stroll up to him and ask in a voice that only him and me understand "do you work here?"
i got a hug.
Colt still had to work 2 more hours. time gets fuzzy. we talked some, he pulled his notebook out of his ass and i write down "For a good time, call..." and then his phone number.
i do recall at one point grabbing both Matthew's sleeve and Colt's sleeve (triangle of power! i'm a hinge!) explaining i have Buffy with Matthew and Supernatural with Colt.
Colt shows around a bit, goes back to work (fuck if i don't get ask if I work there) and a great time is spent at the turtle pond. i marvel at the wonderment of these creatures. they swim, sun under the lamps, fight.
i felt whole.
Colt gets off work and we go to his place. i walk into his bedroom and whatever evil black thing he had in Rosebud is with him here! i swear it's all in his bed and it needs an exorcism.
and that's where i to sleep!
i give Colt his gifts. first an awesome Marvel cup (Mathew has the Batman version) and The DarkFrog, with cape!
and i still have not gotten his Yule gift done. Colt thought the frog was it, but no.
Matthew leaves to check into his hotel. i give Colt his other gift, a box of condoms with the intent of NO MORE PHONE CALLS!
he's starving, so we ride up the street to Wendy's. He finds the one spot the razor missed on my legs (and really, i kept yelling at Colt about staring at my boobs). while in the drive thru, he asked me to look into his eyes. i told him i wasn't that fluffy to be doing magick in the drive thru, i would look later (never did :-( ).
BUT, something was there. i saw a spark. i've never seen it before in him. i don't know what it was but i was not shielded enough to deal with it.
back the grotto to get ready. Colt finds out his bathroom's door doesn't lock.
we get ready for the movie. i had my hair in 6 knots to brush it out in big glamorous 70's hair. if i had hairspray i would have been dangerous.
with a long broomstick black skirt, funky purple tank top, hair and makeup done to the 9's, and new earrings, i felt so fucking sexy. i felt powerful, like i was a goddess because, hell, i had a date with the two men who love me.
i was shining, glowing from all the love.

now, let me preface the next part of the story. i truly believe that birthdays are the high holy days that should be celebrated to the fullest. it's not so much i want all the party for my birthday but making sure my love ones have the best day. i busted my ass to make sure this was the best birthday for Colt, so help me gods.

me and Colt get in his truck, making our way to the theater. i had closed my eyes, to take it all in, a moment of Zen. Colt started driving like as ass.
he didn't want me to fall asleep.
i looked at him, and choosing my words carefully, i said "i bless you, that you find a boyfriend as wonderful as Matthew."
Colt freaked a bit and pulled his mp3 player away from the dash of his truck. the clocked read 3:15.
the exact time of his birth.
this connected stuff is getting out of hand.
anyway, we make it to the theater, get the tickets, Matthew calls says he's lost, he makes it, get in, sit down with Colt on my left and Matthew on my right.

dear 16 year old self, date one boy? no, date two men, at the same time. just sit in the middle and enjoy.

Matthew said he needed to go to the bathroom and comes back with popcorn and sodas for all three of us.
the previews roll and i got to see the new Guardians of the Galaxy preview! yeah MCU! so Days of Future Past.
Fox is really trying to prove they are the "adult" Marvel movies with swearing and the nudity.
yes, nudity. we all got see Hugh Jackman's ass. it's a great ass and turned some of us on.
ok, movie: TL/DR: Fox retcon everything and throw out the cannon of the X-Men trilogy.
it was a ok movie. it wasn't boring, i did question why they made JFK a mutant, Nixon was ok, Jennifer Lawrence was all lvls of coolness, and there was a after credit scene.
the best part, the BEST part of the movie was sitting in between Colt and Matthew, stroking their inner thighs, at the same time.
so maybe Hugh Jackman's ass turn me on a bit.
i don't think it did anything for Matthew.
back to the new grotto (Spring Grotto?) for Imitation Chicken Enchilada and cake.
the boy (Colt) loves my Imitation Chicken Enchilada but it doesn't love him.
with 24 black candles encircling the 9x13 devil's food cake, adorned with fancy sprinkles, with the cheerful greeting of "Happy B-Day Assbut!", Colt made his wish.
and when asked if he wanted the ass or the butt, he wanted the butt.
Matthew left so me and Colt could have the night together, alone.
we played Lego Marvel Super Heroes, watch tv, and i do a birthday card reading.

(am i too close to him? too connected to see the truth? or is he just stuck with the same problems, over and over?)

Tuesday: i awake, Colt still passed out in the living room (he made me sleep in his bed, which is the source of "darkness") and i try to write a journal entry:
words fail me.
i sit, awake, in the early part of the day. he's asleep in the other room. there's another he, asleep across town.
and as much as i joke about it, i am overly bless to have these two.
i gave up on it and wrote Colt a long sappy letter.
i go back to sleep, wake up to hear the tv (i kept the bedroom door open the whole time). i take my shower, Colt sees me naked, he has raisin bran for breakfast (what the hell? is he that old?) and i had Imitation Chicken Enchiladas.
Matthew comes back, declining any breakfast.
at one point, Matthew is sitting on one couch, i'm crocheting on the floor, and Colt is laying on the other couch, while a Joss Whedon movie plays on the TV.

dear 16 yr old self, this is the peace you are looking for. i'm sorry it takes so long to find but it will do wonders for our souls.

it comes the time to say goodbye.
“Believe me 
I don’t want to go 

And it’ll grieve me 


I love you so”

he told me to be a big girl. crying, not saying a word, i hug him and get in the van and leave.
the ride back was uneventful.
a pit stop in Lebanon for Steak 'n Shake and then home.
we switch vans, hit Wal-Mart for much needed alcohol (hello Jack Daniel's Hard Cola, long time no see), pick up his mom, get TK’s pizza (and with Linn’s pizza back, you are not that great anymore) and settle in to watch Out of the Furnace.
Christian Bale was sexy, Woody Harrelson was pure evil, over all, good movie.
Wednesday: i awake to The Dark Knight Rises and watch it twice before making Matthew wake up. we hit Taco Bell for breakfast and come back home to watch Heat.
me and Matthew discuss the movie, how it influence The Dark Knight, Michael Mann at large, and it hits me.
i love Colt but not in love with him. he makes me happy. he makes me happy in ways that Matthew doesn’t.
Colt is fun. he’s sugar, candy, soda, staying up late, that bad movie you love to watch, all the things that are “bad” for you, a good time. he’s all fluff, no matter.
Matthew makes me think. we have great nerd talks for hours that’s covers the nerd world (Buffy, Batman, MCU). he is meat and potatoes, the real deal.
they balance me. combining them would result in in a supper-boyfriend, with the best of everything.
after the movie, i pack my car and make my way back to the Shack in the Woods.
and that’s my version of #thedarkbday.

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